Am I being irrational?

Petunia844

On my bmb someone posted about loss, the OP was really a nice post, saying how they should be so grateful for their LO's and that it's good to just remember how lucky they are.  Then someone posted the dreaded "I can't read about this kind of thing" post.  I kindly explained why that's hurtful to me and most of the posts were supportive... but it got me thinking about the whole issue.  I feel like I have to try spread understanding, it feels like part of my job as a mommy to Peyton...so I made a new post to try to explain why that's so hurtful... am I being irrational?  Is that too much to ask for... for stillbirth not to be a taboo subject that needs a warning in the title?  I hope I explained myself well....

hopefulmom81

I think you explained yourself very thoughtfully and clearly and no, you are not being irrational.

I don't know how people can be on a pregnancy board and expect to not hear about loss when it happens to so many of us.

I think you did the right thing and explained it lovingly and kindly. 

holly321

I want to say, make a post,but honesty, but the responses may be more painful.  You have every right to talk about your child, and it shouldn't bother people, too bad for them if it makes them uncomfortable.

I don't understand why people are so offended by others grief.  If I ever mention my miscarriage to certain friends and family  members they clam up.  Clearly if the person most affected by it can talk about it, why can't they?

But no, I absolutely don't think you are being irrational. 

  

martinimomma

I think your post was quite rational.

Ladiebug710

You are not irrational.

orangegoggles

I liked your post, well said and not snarky or irrational in the least.

JulyMomma2U2

pangnl79:

I liked your post, well said and not snarky or irrational in the least.

This.

karma79

I think your post was very thoughtful and you are most certainly NOT being irrational. Hug!

Junebug060609

I think you were completely rational and your post was very well put.

FreyaWin2382

hopefulmom81:

I think you explained yourself very thoughtfully and clearly and no, you are not being irrational.

I don't know how people can be on a pregnancy board and expect to not hear about loss when it happens to so many of us.

I think you did the right thing and explained it lovingly and kindly. 

All of this. Having been part of three BMB I can say that this topic inevitably comes up....and I think that you having the courage to say something is so important. 

katigox

*this is probably going to get long and rambly!*

I read the first thread were this came up, and then your thread were you explained things so thoughtfully and thoroughly.  I think it's a shame that the OP even had to put "loss mentioned" in the title, like some sort of warning - and then somebody even replied with a "TY for the warning".  Personally, that ticked me off about as much as reading people who talk about the anxiety that is caused by child death/abuse/etc.

I can understand how it's hard to read about a mother who kills her child, or abuses their child, because we'd give ANYTHING to have our loss baby's, so to read about mothers who hurt their children, stings badly.  However, this wasn't about that - this was about an uncontrollable loss, and how we should appreciate what we have.  To me, that's not the same thing by a long shot.

And I am so done with people who use the anonymity of the internet to say things they probably wouldn't say in RL.  Who would dare to look at you, and during your sad recounting of your loss, dare to stop you and say, "I can't deal with the anxiety your life is causing me"  I mean, seriously!  So why should they even feel the need to make those comments on a public forum?  If they don't like it . . . then turn around, and don't reply.  Simple as that.  

Their comments were unnecessary, and I think educating their ignorance is the only thing we can do (ignorant not as in dumb, but as in ignorant of the subject matter). 

ETA: not to stir the pot too much - but maybe all of us PAL's should head over to your thread in support and write about how much healing talking about a taboo subject can do