Should we try for a second?

Nattie3325

The facts: 

baby 1 is 18 months old, husband and i work full time, i commute 1.5 hrs to and from work and have a high stress job, i managed it fine when i was pregnant with first though, childcare is our moms, not sure they can handle two kids, but i feel like im getting older, and id like to have a total of 3 or 4 kids ultimately, and i dont want them spaced far apart.

 So, major pro is that we both want kids and soon.  Major con is work and childcare issues. 

 

ANY OPINIONS WELCOME!!!! 

gracefulruby33

Obviously you and your H need to talk about this. Only you know what is right for you and your family.

Since you want opinions, here is mine. I would get a different job closer so you don't have to make a major commute for a job it sounds like you don't really like. Easier said than done, of course, but that is what I would do. You should also talk to your child care providers and ask them if they would be up for watching another baby and if not, assess your options then. If they don't want to and you can't afford to pay for daycare (assuming you aren't now), then you have your answer. But like I said, only you and your H know what the right answer is.

jc&cat

gracefulruby33:

Obviously you and your H need to talk about this. Only you know what is right for you and your family.

Since you want opinions, here is mine. I would get a different job closer so you don't have to make a major commute for a job it sounds like you don't really like. Easier said than done, of course, but that is what I would do. You should also talk to your child care providers and ask them if they would be up for watching another baby and if not, assess your options then. If they don't want to and you can't afford to pay for daycare (assuming you aren't now), then you have your answer. But like I said, only you and your H know what the right answer is.

All of this. Keep in mind too that your LO now will likely be ready for a pre-school setting when a 2nd one comes along. That could be a good thing for your caregivers since it could be 2 children for only 1/2 day if your older one is in a preschool program say, in the morning. If you are looking for 3-4 total kids, i would keep at least the first 2 closer in age, IMO.

Nattie3325

Thank you.  H and I talk about it every day, and its a constant pros and cons list.  One of the moms has said she cant handle a second, so i might have no choice but to do daycare, which i hate.  I cant easily switch jobs, this one is far but it pays very well, which i would not be able to find closer to home.

TiffanyBerry

Is the job situation or child care situation likely to change in the next two or three years?  If you're already planning on keeping your job until you retire, and aren't planning to hire a nanny, then now or two years from now won't matter when it comes to those things.

SharonB222

I could have written that! except my babe is nearly 19 months old and my work commute is short.  When we started TTC (at age 31), I would have wanted a 3 year separation between children, but I'm turning 41 next month (OMG am I?!) so we are TTC now!!!!  I still dream of a less stressful job...  I have no idea what I will do for regular childcare, but nor did I until DD was 4 months old, so I'll figure something out.  FX for you in your choice and TTC!

emnoahmom

        It's such a personal decision, it's hard to give advice. I will say though that with each child we have had, we've had to make adjustments to our lives, but I've never regretted our decision to have that child. I stay at home now, and we sacrifice a lot, such as going out to nice dinners or buying ourselves new clothes ect. Could you get a part time caregiver to give your mother's a break? Maybe someone who could come to your home? I think you have to just brainstorm your options.

       Bottom line I guess is that you'll never regret the children you have, it just takes a little tweaking to figure out what works best for your family. Good luck with whatever decision you make!