Prayers please

K&P414

I need to vent/make a confession and this seems like the best place to do it.

I was stopped at a road block on Friday night and got a DUI.  I am in complete shock.  I had met a friend for a late dinner, my husband was out of town coaching soccer and the girls had Parents Night Out at our gym.  I did not have a lot to drink, and I felt perfectly fine, not impaired at all.

 I met one girlfriend just before 7:00 and had a glass of wine and an appetizer (and water).  Then around 8:00 I met another friend across town for dinner.  I had 1 Pomegranate Martini before dinner and another glass of wine with dinner.  Some random guy bought an expensive bottle of wine and offered to share it with my friend and I.  We were all sitting near each other at the bar area eating, and he wasn't being creepy, he just offered us each a glass.  I had the bartender pour me just a taste, maybe a 1/4 a glass, because I wanted to try it.  That it's it.    I probably had at least 2 glasses of water while I was there.  I left the restaurant at about 5 minutes after 11:00.  

My dad was planning to meet me at my house after I got the girls to make sure we were settled in, he knows I hate coming home alone with the girls at night when DH is out of town.  I called to let him know I was leaving the restaurant, he offered to pick the girls up for me and I told him no, that I hadn't had much to drink and that I was fine.  When I saw all of the cars backed up at the road block, I started to panic.  Not because I was worried that I'd had too much to drink, but I didn't know how long it would take to get through the road block and I didn't want to be late picking them up.  So thank god, I called my dad and he went to get the girls for me.  

The rest is just a blur, a nightmare. They had TONS of people all out of their cars all in the road.  They had me get out of the car. I was freezing cold and shivering (wouldn't let me get a jacket out of the car) and terrified at how aggressive everyone was being. Eventually they had me take a breathalyzer test and I blew over the legal limit.  I was shocked.  No other word for it.  

I cannot believe that as fine as I felt, as little as I'd had to drink, that I was not legally okay to drive.  As much as I enjoy a drink or two or twelve at home, or out with friends, I have always considered myself responsible with it.  And I am just completely devastated with myself, that my judgement with what I thought was okay, was apparently NOT okay. 

The what-ifs are killing me.  What if my dad hadn't been able to get the girls, what if they had been in the car with me,what if Emma finds out, what if there had been an accident, my fault or not, etc. are killing me.   

I'm not asking for sympathy, I feel horrible about it.  But I would appreciate any kind thoughts to help me get through this ordeal.  And please, learn this lesson from me and don't find yourself in the same situation.  

Thank you for letting me get all of this out

gigiB

Sorry you had to go through that but it does sound like a lot to drink to me.  I limit it to one when I'm out.  The things the police uese are super sensitive.

 

Good luck.

slwprincess

Sorry that happened. I know that the breathalyzers are VERY sensitive. I know a woman who failed tge test after just 1 glass of wine! Personally, I'm a total lightweight so I can't drive if I have ANYTHING to drink. I don't even like DH driving after more than 1 since that happened to our friend. Oh and im not sure, but i dont think water has any effect on blood alcohol content. It just takes time to metabolize it. Dont beat yourself up too much we all make terrible mistakes and luckily none of those bad things happened. Youve learned a hard lesson and hopefully the judge will see your remorse and go easy on you. Good luck sweetie :

Daisy22

I'm sorry you are going through this and don't beat yourself up. I know someone that got pulled over in decatur and failed the breathalyzer. He requested a blood test and passed that. The breathalyzers are not very reliable and anytime you get pulled over and they use it you should request a blood test. 

MrsKLB

I'm sorry. I know this could have easily been me on many occasions. I'm going to try to keep this in mind in the future and be better about not driving after I've had more than a drink. I know it sucks and you are on shock. The only bright side I can say is that luckily there was no accident. No harm came to anyone. So all you have to do is make it through your punishment and live with your mistake. At least you don't have to live with someone being hurt and have to wonder if your judgement truly was impaired. Hang in there! :

ebearwife

Depending on what you did after the test (ie blood test, field test) and your BAC according to the breathalizer you may be able to plead down the DUI to driving recklessly or something like that since it was a road block and not an accident.  Honestly a DUI can haunt you basically forever so I would get a lawyer to try anything to get it downgraded.  I am sorry this happened.  And water will dilute your alcohol content percentage wise but you would need to drink a lot of it and your bladder would not be especially happy.  And I will pray for you also as you go through this.  I would avoid any alcohol consumption in the future as long as you know you will have to drive and especially until your court date.  Even a sniff of alcohol and I would call a cab.  You want to be able to answer the judge honestly when he asks.

MSquires100

ebearwife:

Depending on what you did after the test (ie blood test, field test) and your BAC according to the breathalizer you may be able to plead down the DUI to driving recklessly or something like that since it was a road block and not an accident.  Honestly a DUI can haunt you basically forever so I would get a lawyer to try anything to get it downgraded.  I am sorry this happened.  And water will dilute your alcohol content percentage wise but you would need to drink a lot of it and your bladder would not be especially happy.  And I will pray for you also as you go through this.  I would avoid any alcohol consumption in the future as long as you know you will have to drive and especially until your court date.  Even a sniff of alcohol and I would call a cab.  You want to be able to answer the judge honestly when he asks.

As others have said, try not to beat yourself up over this.  It was a mistake and no one was hurt.  I would highly recommend, as costly as it may be, to get a lawyer to work through the case and get the plea downgraded.  Prayers are being said for you!

K&P414

Thank you for the kind words.  I have already gotten a lawyer and feel better about the situation.  Interestingly enough, my diet may have given me a higher than normal BAC reading.  Apparently there is a connection between low calorie, high protein diets skewing the results.  Who knew?!?  The legal part of it, I'm almost okay with.  I broke the law and there are consequences to that, no matter how much it sucks.  It's the mental part that is killing me.  But I'm just trying to take it day by day and remember that one bad choice doesn't define me as a person (or Mother, which is really what I'm struggling with).  

Thanks again though for letting me get this out here.  It helps to get the words out of my head without having to talk to people in real life.  My poor husband gets so frustrated if I'm upset about something he can't 'fix.'  He can be supportive, hire me the best attorney, etc. but he can't help me come to peace with it in myself.  So it's just chin up, and all smiles at home. 

That.Just.Happened

That seems crazy.  You metabolize a drink an hour. You had 4 drinks (if you count that last tasting of wine as a full drink) in 4 hours, plus it sounds like plenty of food & water. If I had been in your position, I would have done the same thing.  Don't beat yourself up over it.

 

 

JulesDiane

**hugs** I hope everything works out. And thanks for sharing your story... I will think a little harder the next time I have only a  couple of drinks and am thinking of driving.

BottomStar

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I have a tendency to obsess and continually what-ifs through my head as well, so I can totally feel your pain.  Make sure you're doing what you need to do to get plenty of sleep (I always have trouble when I'm anxious) and not let anxiety get the best of you. 

missmlp

Unfortunately, it does sound like you had a lot to drink and driving tipsy is also considered DUI.  I'm glad you have a lawyer b/c DUI is really taken serious compared to in the past. I know a probation officer and 85% percent of his caseload is DUI.  Most of the people that get a DUI get one just as you did leaving a resturant with friends or business lunches and dinners. Don't beat yourself up but use this as a teachable moment and educate your friends (whenever you are comfortable with sharing) because it is very common. GL

MrsL1022

Hugs to you! I am sure many of us have done what you did. I know I certainly have. My dad is a municipal judge in NJ and I hear stories like this all the time. I am sorry you are going through this. Like you I think about and over analyze all the what ifs an drive myself crazy. Hang in there I am sorry you ate dealing with this.

Kerrin

Don't beat yourself up over a stupid mistake.  Be glad that no one got hurt.  You can't undo the past, just make better choices in the future.  This very thing could have happened to any one of us, and I don't think you had that much to drink over the given timespan, coupled with having dinner.  I think a lot of people would be surprised how very little you can drink and still blow a .08, and not be aware that you are "legally" drunk".  Sounds like you're taking care of the business side of it.  Take care of yourself too.  And thanks for sharing your story.  It's a great reminder for all of us.  Big hugs to you.

 

frlcb

gigiB:

Sorry you had to go through that but it does sound like a lot to drink to me.  I limit it to one when I'm out.  The things the police uese are super sensitive.

 

Good luck.

 You are super helpful! I am sure she will sleep more soundly tonight knowing that you think she had too much to drink, because certainly her DUI didn't make her aware of that. I would insert an eye roll if I could, in case you weren't sure.

K&P, I am so sorry this happened. I fully believe this could have happened to many people without realizing they had too much. I will think good thoughts for you! 

MLvK

MrsKLB:

I'm sorry. I know this could have easily been me on many occasions. I'm going to try to keep this in mind in the future and be better about not driving after I've had more than a drink. I know it sucks and you are on shock. The only bright side I can say is that luckily there was no accident. No harm came to anyone. So all you have to do is make it through your punishment and live with your mistake. At least you don't have to live with someone being hurt and have to wonder if your judgement truly was impaired. Hang in there! :

This is exactly what I wanted to say.  Good luck, L.  I hope this nightmare gets better for yu soon. 

decaturbride

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. As others have said, at least no one was hurt and this can just be a very important lesson. Something for everyone to think about, myself included. It could be easy to end up in this situation. Good luck to you handing the legal part! 

AugustaBride04

Kerrin:

Don't beat yourself up over a stupid mistake.  Be glad that no one got hurt.  You can't undo the past, just make better choices in the future.  This very thing could have happened to any one of us, and I don't think you had that much to drink over the given timespan, coupled with having dinner.  I think a lot of people would be surprised how very little you can drink and still blow a .08, and not be aware that you are "legally" drunk".  Sounds like you're taking care of the business side of it.  Take care of yourself too.  And thanks for sharing your story.  It's a great reminder for all of us.  Big hugs to you.

 

 

Ditto this. Couldn't have said it better myself.  I feel for you. I always over analyze things and think of the what-ifs. I can only imagine trying to process all of this. Hugs!

kep

Big hugs! Nobody is perfect--we all make mistakes. I am so sorry for what you are going through. XOXO