MOH and pregnant? What to do about timing.

klpjvl2011

My best friend just recently got engaged (yay!) but isn't planning to get married for another year and a half (June 2014). My husband and I were originally going to TTC this October, but OBVIOUSLY that wouldn't work out really well (due date would equal June!) So, we've decided to put off TTC for at least a few more months, but im not sure how long we should wait? I'm 28 already and have endometriosis issues, so waiting longer for our first is probably not widely endorsed. Any advice in how long to wait? I was thinking if I was at most 6 months by the wedding that would be OK. And what about discussing this with my BFF? Ay advice in how to bring up the conversation? It's her big day so I don't want to let her down or steal her thunder...just trying to be careful as I know these things can be sensitive! Thanks all---

DebateThis

Do not wait. Don't put your life on hold for one wedding day, and you most assuredly don't need to ask your BFF's permission. If you are THAT concerned that you could conceive in your first cycle TTC, don't TTC in the month that would give you a June EDD. Beyond that, you have no control over how long it'll take you to conceive - it can take a healthy couple up to a year and you already know you are facing issues that could take you longer.

BFF will deal, and there are always maternity bridesmaids dresses. 

mary35699

I would not wait. You would be very lucky to get pregnant quickly, that doesn't happen for everyone (I believe its normal for a healthy couple to take up to a year). If you get pregnant your friend should be happy for you.

Mysterious_wife

I was suppose to be almost 9 months pg in my BFFs wedding. Due to a medical emergency, the wedding was moved. My baby was 6 weeks old. I went in the BM gig TTC. She asked me before we started TTC.

Don't put your life on hold.

quidditchcapn1120

I would not put your life on hold for someone else's wedding. If they are your BFF they will understand and be excited for you.

victoria+james

You don't know how long you'll be trying before you actually get KU. One of my bridesmaids was 8 months at my wedding anyways.

HoneyBunny13

Go ahead and start TTC when you want. Chances are, it will take a couple of cycles and you'll be fine to be at her wedding. If not then I'm sure she'll still be happy for you if you're unable to make it  because you're having a baby. My MOH (and BFF) actually told me I'm not allowed to get pregnant until she's ready to also or I can't be in her wedding (and she's not even engaged yet nor will she be soon). I laughed. She has issues with jealousy and I get it but of course I'm going to live my life and do what I want.

Laumb11

Agree with previous posts, I wouldn't wait. My brother is getting married in June and (I'm in the BP) we waited till now to TTC just in case but now my cousin also just got engaged and is getting married June 2014 and I told her we are TTC so not sure if we will be pregnant, have a baby or just still TTC at that point. I would be honest with her and let her know that you are TTC. I am sure she will be happy for you and you never know how long it will take. 

yagdush

honestly i dont think you should ask for permission to get pregnant from anyone. my friend got married and her moh was due any minute so she wasnt in the bridal party. she never got mad or said your taking the thunder away from me or anything. having children is a part of growning up and you cant help that its your time now. as everyone has mentioned before its going to take time to get pregnant. its sweet your trying to be consideration to your friend but think about it. i heard your best years to get pregnant is in your early 20's so if you wait anymore your not going to be able to get preggos just as fast. think about all the teen moms. they having no problem becuase they got a early start. i think you should just go for it because also if you wait you never know maybe someone else your close to will be getting married and then you have to wait again and again. good luck

Mommy2CB

I agree with everyone else... TTC when you and your DH are ready, you never know how long it'll take so you really can't plan around things anyway. I would NOT even tell your BFF until you are pregnant.

palm513

Why don't you start TTC in Sept that way IF you get pregnant right away it is a may EDD instead of June. and then you can just take a break in OCT. 

allclad13

DO NOT WAIT!  I was in this exact situation.  I was dealing with fertility issues for 2 years and knew my BF was also going to be getting married in the near future.  I did not try to time my pregnancy with the wedding. Because you just can't plan for the pregnancy.  For me, it turned out that I was 5 months pregnant for her wedding and I was the Maid of honor.  The fact that I was pregnant was no big deal.  Of course I didn't drink at the festivities but that didn't really matter and i needed a lot of alterations on my dress.  But that's about it.  If you're pregnant you might be exhausted if you're in the 1st or 3rd trimester but you'll push through it for your friend. 

ewilliams1127

Another vote for don't wait! 

yagdush

agreed