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Adoption
MayDayGirl
member
Update! Our new son
MayDayGirl
member
in Adoption
I have an amazing story to share, its a God story, and its a GOOD story. Long, but trust me, worth reading
Back in Sept 2012 my dh, Joey, started doing youth group at our church. The truth is I was not happy about it. I felt a little bit like I was already drowning in life. We had 3 kids under 4, one who had started preschool 3 days a week, one who had 4 to 5 visits/appts a week with social workers and one who just plain was going through a bad attitude period no need to mention names lol.
Joey was working random shifts in the ER that meant he was gone a lot of evenings throughout the month. Doing dinner, bottle, and bedtime by myself with so many little kids was exhausting to say the least. Especially when one child had reflux and simply wasnt easy that time of night.
So the thought of him give up 4 MORE evenings a month to do youth ministry was REALLY REALLY hard for me to handle.
Joey is a good man, a fair man, and an easy going man. He doesnt put his foot down often, and when he does, its always gentle. Looking back, I realize he wasnt really giving me a choice. This was something he needed to do. Those were his exact words.
So he started doing youth ministry and I had a bad attitude.
After much prayer and processing with my friend Jill, God brought me around.
Right away Joey was given 4 fchs guys to be in his small group. At the time I thought it was so strange because we live minutes from NHigh school and completely on the other end of town from Fchs equaling a 30 minute drive. But now I know, God had a plan
Right away Joey loved these guys. It was clear why he was being called to do this.
But one guy in particular really tugged on Joeys heart.
His name was Randy.
About a month after the school year started Joey went on a youth retreat with Randy and his friend Johnny. It was a pretty intense weekend and their relationships grew a lot deeper.
Joey came home from that weekend and said, I Have to tell you Randys story, and we need to pray about what role we will play in his life.
So he shared with me about Randys life.
To protect Randys privacy, I will share some simple basics. He was raised by a woman who was never very good to him. She wasnt the mom she should have been and it was an unhealthy environment. They moved a lot and life was very unstable. He never knew his dad and his older brother was always the loved child between the two of them.
After years of feeling rejected and unwanted, Randys mom took him to the courthouse at 17 and had him emancipated. He was on his own. Around that time he started looking for his dad, only to find out he had just recently died.
At 17, he had no parents.
He moved into his friend Johnnys house, but because he cant stand the thought of taking advantage, he buys his own food and washes his clothes elsewhere. He is doing life on his own.
About a year ago Randy met an amazing girl named Beth who goes to our church and comes from a very solid family. They started dating. Her family has sort of taken him under their wing and he has been able to see what a real family looks like, functions like, and loves like. They have been an amazing support system for him. Through this past year he has also been discovering who God is and what His role is in his life.
This last year has been a really good year for Randy and I believe has provided so much needed healing in his life.
Randy joined the marine reserves when he turned 18 and went to basic training last summer. It has met him with so many benefits, including some financial help and free college.
Randy has also been accepted into the criminal justice program at the tech school and will be going there this fall.
He truly is an amazing kid. Joey and I know it is by the grace of God alone that he has turned out so strong given the life he was given.
But the reality is, he doesnt have a family, and he doesnt have any parents. A promising future or not, he is doing it all on his own. He doesnt have health insurance, a car, money to pay for car insurance, money to live on his own. He is a typical 18 year old, except he has no one to be dependent on.
Back in October when we started praying about the situation, what we were praying about is if we should ask him to become our son through adoption.
At the time I hadnt even met him yet and I told God that day my answer was yes. If he wanted us to have him, I wanted him in our family. My husband loved him, God loved him, and I loved him.
We spent a few months taking time to be prayerful and get to know Randy more. This last weekend we asked Randy if he would like to become part of our family, as our son, through legal adoption.
We told him to think about it and take time to answer.
He came over Tuesday and we talked about a lot of specifics of what this would all look like, for him and for us. He told us both Beth and her parents were completely supportive.
He told us he really wanted to go through with it.
I told him if we did this, we would be his parents and asked if we could call him our son. He said yes
I said, our kids would be your brother and sister, is that ok with you? To which he got a big smile and said, that would be awesome!
We dont want to just offer Randy financial assistance and health insurance. We want him in our family, we want our home to be his home, and we want him to be our son.
And thats what he wants too
His girlfriend Beth told me that he was afraid we might think he was only in it for the benefits, but the truth was if we had offered him nothing but family, he would have still whole heartedly said yes
She also told me that about a month ago after youth group, when Joey handed him a check to pay for his drivers school he didnt want to take it, but Joey convinced him, on the way home he cried and said, I wish I had a father like Joey. Little did he know, God already had things in the works!
I have no doubt in my mind that God knew THIS was the year Joey needed to be in youth group. Next year would have been too late. And THAT group of fall creek kids was the exact group he needed to be in.
I also know that last June when we found out about a 17 year old girl about to age out of foster care system, it was God who was prompting us to pursue her. Though in the end she decided she didnt want to be adopted, I KNOW that served the purpose of preparing our hearts for when we met Randy.
God knew he was suppose to be our son, and he has been planting seeds along the way.
Randy sent us an email a few days ago that said, This all means A LOT to me I am so happy to actually have a family. Nobody has ever cared as much as you guys have and its just awesome. Definitely a first Thank you so much, it means to much, its unbelievable
I love that he wants us as much as we want him.
God is so very very amazingly good. I hate that Randy had to live the hard life that he did, and I know that a happy future cant change the pain that he has endured, but God is a God of redemption and hope, and I can see that hope in Randys eyes when I talk to him. And I know this is only the beginning of a beautiful story of redemption.
Edit GRRR the bump ate like all my punctuation!!
Back in Sept 2012 my dh, Joey, started doing youth group at our church. The truth is I was not happy about it. I felt a little bit like I was already drowning in life. We had 3 kids under 4, one who had started preschool 3 days a week, one who had 4 to 5 visits/appts a week with social workers and one who just plain was going through a bad attitude period no need to mention names lol.
Joey was working random shifts in the ER that meant he was gone a lot of evenings throughout the month. Doing dinner, bottle, and bedtime by myself with so many little kids was exhausting to say the least. Especially when one child had reflux and simply wasnt easy that time of night.
So the thought of him give up 4 MORE evenings a month to do youth ministry was REALLY REALLY hard for me to handle.
Joey is a good man, a fair man, and an easy going man. He doesnt put his foot down often, and when he does, its always gentle. Looking back, I realize he wasnt really giving me a choice. This was something he needed to do. Those were his exact words.
So he started doing youth ministry and I had a bad attitude.
After much prayer and processing with my friend Jill, God brought me around.
Right away Joey was given 4 fchs guys to be in his small group. At the time I thought it was so strange because we live minutes from NHigh school and completely on the other end of town from Fchs equaling a 30 minute drive. But now I know, God had a plan
Right away Joey loved these guys. It was clear why he was being called to do this.
But one guy in particular really tugged on Joeys heart.
His name was Randy.
About a month after the school year started Joey went on a youth retreat with Randy and his friend Johnny. It was a pretty intense weekend and their relationships grew a lot deeper.
Joey came home from that weekend and said, I Have to tell you Randys story, and we need to pray about what role we will play in his life.
So he shared with me about Randys life.
To protect Randys privacy, I will share some simple basics. He was raised by a woman who was never very good to him. She wasnt the mom she should have been and it was an unhealthy environment. They moved a lot and life was very unstable. He never knew his dad and his older brother was always the loved child between the two of them.
After years of feeling rejected and unwanted, Randys mom took him to the courthouse at 17 and had him emancipated. He was on his own. Around that time he started looking for his dad, only to find out he had just recently died.
At 17, he had no parents.
He moved into his friend Johnnys house, but because he cant stand the thought of taking advantage, he buys his own food and washes his clothes elsewhere. He is doing life on his own.
About a year ago Randy met an amazing girl named Beth who goes to our church and comes from a very solid family. They started dating. Her family has sort of taken him under their wing and he has been able to see what a real family looks like, functions like, and loves like. They have been an amazing support system for him. Through this past year he has also been discovering who God is and what His role is in his life.
This last year has been a really good year for Randy and I believe has provided so much needed healing in his life.
Randy joined the marine reserves when he turned 18 and went to basic training last summer. It has met him with so many benefits, including some financial help and free college.
Randy has also been accepted into the criminal justice program at the tech school and will be going there this fall.
He truly is an amazing kid. Joey and I know it is by the grace of God alone that he has turned out so strong given the life he was given.
But the reality is, he doesnt have a family, and he doesnt have any parents. A promising future or not, he is doing it all on his own. He doesnt have health insurance, a car, money to pay for car insurance, money to live on his own. He is a typical 18 year old, except he has no one to be dependent on.
Back in October when we started praying about the situation, what we were praying about is if we should ask him to become our son through adoption.
At the time I hadnt even met him yet and I told God that day my answer was yes. If he wanted us to have him, I wanted him in our family. My husband loved him, God loved him, and I loved him.
We spent a few months taking time to be prayerful and get to know Randy more. This last weekend we asked Randy if he would like to become part of our family, as our son, through legal adoption.
We told him to think about it and take time to answer.
He came over Tuesday and we talked about a lot of specifics of what this would all look like, for him and for us. He told us both Beth and her parents were completely supportive.
He told us he really wanted to go through with it.
I told him if we did this, we would be his parents and asked if we could call him our son. He said yes
I said, our kids would be your brother and sister, is that ok with you? To which he got a big smile and said, that would be awesome!
We dont want to just offer Randy financial assistance and health insurance. We want him in our family, we want our home to be his home, and we want him to be our son.
And thats what he wants too
His girlfriend Beth told me that he was afraid we might think he was only in it for the benefits, but the truth was if we had offered him nothing but family, he would have still whole heartedly said yes
She also told me that about a month ago after youth group, when Joey handed him a check to pay for his drivers school he didnt want to take it, but Joey convinced him, on the way home he cried and said, I wish I had a father like Joey. Little did he know, God already had things in the works!
I have no doubt in my mind that God knew THIS was the year Joey needed to be in youth group. Next year would have been too late. And THAT group of fall creek kids was the exact group he needed to be in.
I also know that last June when we found out about a 17 year old girl about to age out of foster care system, it was God who was prompting us to pursue her. Though in the end she decided she didnt want to be adopted, I KNOW that served the purpose of preparing our hearts for when we met Randy.
God knew he was suppose to be our son, and he has been planting seeds along the way.
Randy sent us an email a few days ago that said, This all means A LOT to me I am so happy to actually have a family. Nobody has ever cared as much as you guys have and its just awesome. Definitely a first Thank you so much, it means to much, its unbelievable
I love that he wants us as much as we want him.
God is so very very amazingly good. I hate that Randy had to live the hard life that he did, and I know that a happy future cant change the pain that he has endured, but God is a God of redemption and hope, and I can see that hope in Randys eyes when I talk to him. And I know this is only the beginning of a beautiful story of redemption.
Edit GRRR the bump ate like all my punctuation!!
Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Update! Our new son
TTC since June 2009
01/10- Femara
03/10- Femara
07/2010- Clomid with injectables and IUI #1
08/2010- IUI #2
06/2011- IVF #1 BFP!
09/2011- Miscarriage at 10 1/2 weeks
11/2011- FET
01/2012- Start Home Study process
03/2012- Home Study approved and now waiting on our child to find us!
07/2012- matched with a BM who is due in October!
11/10/12- our son is born!
11/13/12- court grants us custody!
12/28/12- finalization! Always ours in our hearts, but.now also ours forever
http://keepingupwiththejoneses-dana.blogspot.com/
I usually lurk on this board, and have only posted a few times, but I had to respond to this. Your story made me cry. I think it is wonderful the way that this worked out for all of you. Congratulations on your new son!
I am totally dirty lurking here. But I just wanted to say that I am thankful that people like you, your H, and your families exist in this world.
What a wonderful gift you are giving this young man.
TTC #1 since 10/2012.
BFP#1 11/28/12, MC, BFP #2 CP
BFP #3 10/21/2013, EDD 7/3/2014
Beta #1 (4W6D): 1768 Beta #2 (5W1D): 5255
1st US at 6W4D HB of 112 BPM!
1/20/2014: IT'S A GIRL!
6/30/2014: Happy birthday baby M!
I do! It's private since our first was born. Shoot me your email an I can add you
*de-lurking*
This is so wonderful! Dh and I have talked about adopting a young adult who has no family in the future, and I love this story
What a wonderful story!
Thank you for sharing and congrats.
She's Forever Ours! Finaliaztion-12.26.12
Started TTC July 2012. Missed m/c & d&c 9/12 11w. Natural m/c 1/13 6w. Chemical pgs 3/13 & 8/13 around 4w. Currently TTA while saving for adoption.
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” -Helen Keller