Reality check please?

MagickalNarwhal

Background, this person is (was) a volunteer for my program with a communication style that has left half a dozen people in tears and made who-knows-how-many people uncomfortable (including me!) in the short 8 hours she has volunteered with me. I needed to address it, but is there any way that I could have approched this better? She flipped out on me and quit. I could not have had this discussion in person for several reasons unfortunately, so I sent this email:

Thank you for the time that you have spent volunteering so far! I wanted to check in with you because I think that your communication style is quite different than what the community here is used to, and though I know you have the best intentions to serve our community I'd like to ask if you would be willing to approach communicating differently.

Typically in my experience here, the direct or blunt way of communicating is taken to be aggressive and rude, even if that's not the spirit it's meant in at all, and it can be very upsetting for community members. For example, I understand that you were frustrated that you were not sent directly over to me when you checked in at the front desk the other week. The way you communicated with the front desk staff, however, was upsetting for a number of people (including clients and other staff members).

 

If you could make an effort to be more gentle when communicating here, I would really appreciate it. This includes things like not interrupting, giving people space to share answers to questions, and speaking in a lower and slower voice. I know it's tricky to navigate these complex cultural issues! I come from a loud and fast-talking family myself and it was a big adjustment for me here to learn how to be the most effective in my communication here. And I appreciate your consideration.

 

Thank you again for being a part of the program so far and please let me know if you have questions about this, as I'm happy to talk about it more.

brettsmama

I can't read the title of this post on mobile. I think based on the limited background the email was appropriate, considerate and is very well written. Although usually those conversations are better in person, I completely understand that is not always possible. I wouldn't worry too much about her quitting, sounds like she had her own issues.

SunAndRain

Unfortunately I think that email was inappropriate.  If you coudln't have the discussion in person then it could have been had over the phone.  If email was the only way to contact her then the message shoudl have read something to the effect of, "There is an important matter that I need to discuss with you.  Could you please call me (or stop by my office) tomorrow morning?"

mylittlesunshine

SunAndRain:

Unfortunately I think that email was inappropriate.nbsp; If you coudln't have the discussion in person then it could have been had over the phone.nbsp; If email was the only way to contact her then the message shoudl have read something to the effect of, "There is an important matter that I need to discuss with you.nbsp; Could you please call me or stop by my office tomorrow morning?"

I have to agree. I would have never done something like this over an email.

IBackBevo

I dont know what all this volunteer did, but if I received an email like that from a place where I was volunteering my time, I would probably quit, too.  But if her communication skills were that upsetting and distracting then maybe you are  better off without her.

MagickalNarwhal

Thanks, I really appreciate the responses. I will probably DD this soon just in case she happens to frequent TB.

I am only in the office when the program is running and it's crazy, which is why it couldn't be in person. I could have done phone but I didn't for several reason, but what I am realizing is that I really should have just asked her to leave. She was not a good fit and based on previous conversations I probably should have anticipated how this went down.

cindybaf

I would not have called. She sounds like an emotional roller coaster and sometimes it's futile to try to talk to someone who won't listen and an email can be documented. Btw, I wouldn't even want to know what she has to say either, it will most likely be hurtful and unproductive. I doubt she really wanted to be there whole acting like that. Maybe she has mental issues that she can't work because of.

realityspeller

i agree that the email was completely appropriate. i also agree that email was a good communication choice as there is documentation of what you said and how you said it. i have seen volunteers who were given constructive feedback or explained why whatever job assignment they wanted not a good fit go bezerk try to get the person giving them the message they don't want to hear in trouble. then it becomes he said/she said situations. in one of these instances the volunteer who was CRAZY was also a generous donor. it got real messy, real fast. had the communication been emailed instead of in person the situation would have been a lot cleaner. it's touchy working with volunteers and i think you handled this well.

Amymichelle925

ClaryPax:

If she made 6 people cry in 8 hours then she needs to not volunteer at your organization IMO.  I've never had to fire someone, and it must be so so difficult, but at least she is just a volunteer and you are not taking away her livelihood. 

ETA: I would not have sent an e-mail, but would have "fired" her in person.  Since she no longer is volunteering and the end result is the same, then don't beat yourself up too much, but next time I would ask the person to leave.  

This!

highlights

ClaryPax:

If she made 6 people cry in 8 hours then she needs to not volunteer at your organization IMO.  I've never had to fire someone, and it must be so so difficult, but at least she is just a volunteer and you are not taking away her livelihood. 

ETA: I would not have sent an e-mail, but would have "fired" her in person.  Since she no longer is volunteering and the end result is the same, then don't beat yourself up too much, but next time I would ask the person to leave.  

This. I would not have sent the e-mail. I think its just going to offend her and fuel the fire.

 Something that I was told once (I deal with a lot of volunteers) was to never e-mail anything that you wouldn't want on the newspaper's front page with your program's logo attached. I don't think that e-mail was appropriate.  

jcrising

mylittlesunshine:

SunAndRain:

Unfortunately I think that email was inappropriate.nbsp; If you coudln't have the discussion in person then it could have been had over the phone.nbsp; If email was the only way to contact her then the message shoudl have read something to the effect of, "There is an important matter that I need to discuss with you.nbsp; Could you please call me or stop by my office tomorrow morning?"

I have to agree. I would have never done something like this over an email.

 This.  You should have had the conversation in person.  My guess is that the result would have been the same, but it is a conversation worth having face-to-face.  The message, however, was perfect, IMHO. 

jmdahn

As a National Director managing a large team and dealing with a high volume of volunteers- I would have not sent this via email- strictly because it could be used against you- even though you did attempt to come off nicely.  This person wasn't a good fit and the email could have been saved by simply letting them go.  Now you look like the bad guy and they have the email to share that you sent even though she was voluteering her time.