Another one bites the dust...

noslen0519 · March 2013

So I got a phone call last night that one of my good friends is pregnant. I was her matron of honor a year ago and I know I should be happy for her, but I just have a hard time accepting it. It's not like we've been trying and I have no right to feel bitter about such wonderful news, but I feel like everyone around us is having a baby except us and we've been married the longest! Am I a horrible person to feel this way? I had a discussion with DH about it last night, and he of course told me how wrong I am. He said if you're going to be that way then why not just stop waiting? It's not like we know how long it's going to take to get pregnant. I just don't want to screw up my school year completely next year especially because I'm not tenured. sigh. Cookies for anyone who got through this.

nicole mackenzie · March 2013

TheFutureMrs.N:
So I got a phone call last night that one of my good friends is pregnant. I was her matron of honor a year ago and I know I should be happy for her, but I just have a hard time accepting it. It's not like we've been trying and I have no right to feel bitter about such wonderful news, but I feel like everyone around us is having a baby except us and we've been married the longest! Am I a horrible person to feel this way? I had a discussion with DH about it last night, and he of course told me how wrong I am. He said if you're going to be that way then why not just stop waiting? It's not like we know how long it's going to take to get pregnant. I just don't want to screw up my school year completely next year especially because I'm not tenured. sigh. Cookies for anyone who got through this.nbsp;

I'd finish school. Maybe talking to your husband and setting up a TTC timeline. For example my husband and I want to redo the insulation in our house and get the fireplace working, and pay off the credit card then we will start trying. Maybe having a clear plan in place will help you. Don't start until you and your husband are ready to be parents in 9 months. It can be sad seeing everyone else have babies but don't start trying because you feel like your behind. Your time will come.

kmatthews0 · March 2013

Jealousy is a natural feeling and it's okay to have those feelings, just make sure that it's fleeting. Remember: we are not in competition with our friends and we create our own time tables. Babies are hard work and a lot of people jump into having babies because other people are having them. My advice is to allow yourself to FEEL your feelings, recognize that it is a joyous occasion for your friends, and move on. If you don't allow yourself to feel how you feel, everything is going to bottle up and you will become bitter. I followed this advice a few years ago when every one else was getting engaged and I wasn't. People tend to be feeling "jealous" long before they recognize it (like I did). Once you recognize it, it is time to move past it and you seem like you're at that point.

Right now I know 12 people that are pregnant and expecting in 2013. I cannot help but feel absolute joy for each and every single couple. I have had the same reaction when each person made their announcements. My DH and I do not plan on trying until next month (I have been lurking around here for A LONG time). I can't say I have felt jealous, but anxious for our turn because I know when it is our turn, my friends will be just as thrilled for my DH and me.

victoria+james · March 2013

You aren't crazy, but I'm with YH on this one. From your post, it sounds like he is ready to try when you are. If you are making the decision to wait then why wouldn't you feel happy for your friend? And if you are that upset about your decision then maybe its time to reevaluate and start trying.

I know what its like to feel jealous of your friends. DH and I have been together 7 years married 1 1/2 and one of my pregnant friends had only even known her husband for a total of 11 months. DH has wanted to wait and situations such as this drive me nuts. I'm still happy for them, but oh so jealous as well.

mama&baby · March 2013

"Another One Bites The Dust"? Really?

lindsaylouuu · March 2013

I know what you mean. I feel like everyone around me is getting pregnant, and as much as I want to be happy for them, I just feel so jealous! I'm in school too. Finishing in July, so we are actively TTC but I understand why you would want to wait.