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TTC After a Loss
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Goddammit

RedPhoenix625RedPhoenix625
in TTC After a Loss

I love you guys a TON, but I did not want to come back here.  Alas, here I am.

*Pg and loss mentioned*

For those of you not up-to-date: After a very low beta at 12 dpo with low progesterone, things were starting to look up with two doubling betas following that, and PIO shots that got my progesterone up.  However, today's draw at 5w0d showed an hCG level back down to 18.  I was prepared, as my HPTs have been getting lighter over the past 3 days, but this still f?cking blows.  

I am having a really, really hard time.  DH is too.  Going into this cycle, I thought we had hardened our hearts and braced ourselves enough to be able to handle another CP, which we knew was a very likely possibility.  I was wrong.  We are taking it really hard.

We have no idea where will go from here.  We've got 6 failed pregnancies in the books now that are basically identical, with no known cause or solution.  We are so lost. 

Thank you guys for the overwhelming support and juju you've been throwing my way the past couple weeks.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.  

<3

PAIF/SAIF, PGAL/PAL welcome.
TTC since March 2010 ~ Dx Unexplained IF September 2011
2011: IUI + Clomid = CP#1
2012: 3 more IUIs + Clomid = 3 more CPs. One on-our-own pg, also CP
2013: BTB IUI + Lupron/Follistim/Prometrium/PIO = CP #6
IF testing, RPL testing, Autoimmune testing = all normal
So lost.
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Re: Goddammit

  • DCWJesDCWJes member
    I am so sorry Hun. This truly isn't fair. *huge hugs*
    I have short term memory loss. Do not take it personally if I do not remember you right away.
    No longer trying to conceive at all.
    BFP #1 12/1/02 DD born 7/25/03 
    BFP #2 7/23/10 EDD 3/30/11 m/c 8/17/10 We will always miss you Angelique Marie! 
     BFP #3 4.13.11 EDD 12.18.11 m/c 5/13/11 d&c 5/18/11 We will always miss you Sprout Ryker! 
     Lucky Lee (furbaby) born 1.29.12 
     Midnight Marie (furbaby) born 7.4.12 passed for unknown reasons 9.19.12 Missing my jumping bean. 
    image image
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    Follow Me on Pinterest
    ♥♥ Pg/PAL Welcome! ♥♥ 
    http://indulgy.com/post/4gbObIOiC1/bazinga
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  • bunnybun4bunnybun4 member
    this is just really not fair.  I am so sorry.  so many hugs to you and DH.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

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  • cpm1223cpm1223 member
    I am so so sorry Red. Sending you lots of ((hugs)) right now.

    image

    Missing Our July Sparkler
    BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
    BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron <3

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  • CameroonKateCameroonKate member
    Red I am so sorry. This sucks. [[[HUGS]]]
    BabyFruit Ticker


    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers




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  • km_mdkm_md member
    (((((Red))))) I am so so sorry. There are no words for how much this sucks. 


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  • fluttergirlmoonchild79fluttergirlmoonchild79 member
    {{HUGS}}

     

    In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

     

     

    corbinsmommy.blogspot.com


     

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  • kateithokateitho member
    T&P's Red.  So sorry for all you've been through. ((hugs))
    BFP 11/24/2012  MMC 1/21/2013 - BFP 3/29/2013  MC 4/8/2013 - BFP 4/25/2013 MC 5/6/2013 - 5/17/2013 Diagnosed with LPD - BFP 8/24/13  MC 9/6/2013
    BFP: 12/19/13  - Beta 1@11dpo: 26.8 - Beta 6@23dpo: 3,672
    Our Rainbow Son Born August 26, 2014
    Lilypie - (nueR)
    image
    All ALers welcome!
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  • PatientlyWaiting10PatientlyWaiting10 member
    SO SO sorry Red!!!  Huge (((HUGS))) coming your way.  :'( 
    BFP #1 October 2008 | m/c Thanksgiving weekend | November 2008 | 7 weeks 2 days
    BFP #2 February 2009 | m/c March 2009 | 4 weeks 3 days
    Testing on mom and dad for possible reasons all came back normal.
    BFP #3 8/4/2009 | DD born 3/28/10 @ 38 weeks
    BFP #4 5/13/11 | m/c 6/15/11 | 8 weeks 6 days
    BFP #5 2/13/13 | CP 2/19/13 | 4 weeks 
    BFP #6 3/21/14 | Heard the HB on 4/16 | m/c 4/21/14 | 9 weeks
    Testing results all returned normal and baby was a GIRL.
    More testing on mom and dad for other issues all returned normal results.
    BFP #7 10/15 | DS born 6/4/16 @ 36 weeks 
    BFP #8 9/28/17 AHHH!!!  |  EDD 6/6/18

    "Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap & tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap & tell them about me?"
    All are welcome!


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  • mightymousymightymousy member
    Awwww sh!t :( I'm so sorry *hugs* I missed you but I don't want to see you back here.
    BFP#1 9/28/2012 - EDD 6/3/2013 - MMC discovered 11/21/2012 @ 12w2d - D&C 11/24/2012
    BFP#2 4/4/2013 - Born at 37w3d on 11/26/13 via emergency c-section
    Loving our beautiful rainbow baby boy Archer!
    image

    ~*All AL Welcome*~
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  • miakritamiakrita

    I am so sorry.  There are no words.  ((HUGS))

    Life isn't fair  :(

    Mother to 3 angels: D&C May 2006 - My cherry blossom child. TTC since March 2012. BFP March 2012; CP March 2012 - 4 weeks 1 day. BFP July 8, 2012; No HB August 6, 2012 - 8 weeks 2 days. M/C August 21, 2012. Cremated in our backyard 5 days later. Starting charting 10/29/12. Stalk me at My Ovulation Chart
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  • LLPtobeLLPtobe member

    Huge (((hugs))) honey. I am so incredibly sorry.

    July TTCAL Siggy Challenge - Favorite Children's Book
    Donkey-Donkey - Roger Duvoisin 1968 Vintage Childrens Book
    Surprise BFP 5/15/12, EDD 1/29/13, mm/c @ 8wks, discovered at 11wks, D&C 7/11/12
    AF finally arrived on Christmas after 167 days of waiting.
    TTA until January 2014
    Follow Me on Pinterestimageimage
    PGAL/PAL always welcome

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  • EKGibsEKGibs member
    Hugs. I'm so sorry Red.
    TTC since 4/28/07
    Diagnosed w/ endometriosis 12/2010 Laproscopic surgery & 6 months of Lupron
    BFP 12/17/2011,EDD 8/23/12,ectopic discovered 12/29/11 at 6 weeks recieved methotrexate
    Dec '12 HSG & ultrasound showed abnormalities & more endo. Laproscopic surgery in January '13 showed significant damage & scar tissue from Endo. IVF is our best shot to concieve our rainbow.

    June '13 Decided to go the adoption route!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers


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    ***PGAL/PAL WELCOME***

     

     






        

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  • amberproamberpro member
    (((((((HUGS)))))))  I wish I had words, but there are none.  
    image

    Lilypie - (JzKZ) Lilypie - (DgGJ)

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  • ZAngelZAngel member
    No!!  This just isn't fair.  I'm so sorry ((HUGS))
    BFP #1 (DS, 10/98), BFP #2 (DD, 10/09)
    BFP #3 -mm/c @ 7wks, discovered at 9wks, D&C 9/28
    BFP #4 5/29 EDD 2/9 - please be our rainbow
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    Lilypie Maternity tickers
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  • tuscanbride2007tuscanbride2007 member
    ((((HUGS))))

    BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
    BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    TTC #3 since May 2012

    BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
    BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13
    BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14

    No longer trying to conceive.

    image    http://oi40.tinypic.com/15czrid.jpg     image

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  • BootsOrHeartsBootsOrHearts member

    I'm so sorry Red.  No-one should have to go through that 1 time, let alone 6 times.

    You deserve some answers. I hope you get some.

    **Warning: Losses and living child mentioned**
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
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    January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
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  • Smash2009Smash2009 member

    Oh Red....I wish there was something I could say. We are all here for you, and I'll keep you and your DH in my thoughts. Wish I could hug you IRL, so pretend this is you and me. Big fat HUGS!

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  • KGS2003KGS2003 member
    (((Hugs))) Red my heart hurts for you.
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  • heather52904heather52904 member
    I'm so so sorry.  Huge ((((HUGS))))

    TTC Since 8/2011
    BFP #1 5/13/12 * EDD 1/24/13 * MC at 7 wks 4 days on 6/11/12
    BFP #2 5/13/13 * Current EDD 1/23/14

    Baby N born 2/8/14


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    Lilypie - (HD7B)

     

     

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  • SA1112SA1112 member
    I am so so sorry. This is so unfair. huge ((((hugs))))

    image

    My Ovulation Chart

    BFP #1 3.16.12. mmc 5.7.12 at 11 weeks ~Avery Cameron~

    BFP #2 12.12.12. mmc 1.22.13 at 10 weeks ~Theodore Michael~

    D&C #2 Chromosome analysis results: Translocation Trisomy 14

    My RPL Testing: Homozygous MTHFR, normal karyotype

    DH's karyotype results: Robertsonian Translocation 13:14

    BFP #3 9.10.13 mc at 4 weeks~Our little May Flower~ 

    BFP #4 10.13.13- Our Rainbow Baby, a little girl, arrived June 25, 2014! 

                                                                              


     

     

     

     

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  • ScarlettDahliaScarlettDahlia member
    Sending you so many (((hugs))) Red. This flucking sucks
    image
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

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     BFP #1 8/1/11, MMC 10/5/11, D&C 11/1/11
     BFP #2 5/28/13, EDD 1/17/14. Elliott - 12/31/13
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  • Saritaota614Saritaota614 member
    Sad I'm so sorry Red
    Trying for our first since April 2011
    BFP 10/4/2012. Due 6/11/13. M/C 11/3/12
    Diagnosed Hypothyroidism 9/4/13
    BFP #2 11/11/13 Due 7/24/14
    image
     
    Today, I am pregnant.  Today, I am happy.
    Everyone welcome
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  • Roxycc55Roxycc55 member
    Goddammit is right. I'm so sorry Red.

    [[[[[[[[[Hugs]]]]]]]]]


    image

    "As long as I live you will live. As long as I live you will be loved."

    BFP#1 3/31/12 EDD 12/1/12,No HB 6/6/12 (14 weeks 4 days), D&C 6/11/12 (15 weeks 2 days)*Arabella Ann*

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

     

    BFP#2 5/21/14 EDD 1/27/15 *GROW BABY GROW*

     
     


     

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  • MsAmandaPantsMsAmandaPants member
    I absolutely hate to see you back here! I am so incredibly sorry, Red. The biggest (((hugs))) imaginable for you and Mr. Red. It is all just totallyfucking unfair. We're here for you.
    Me: 36 yo, TTC #1 since Feb. 2012
    BFP #1, 3/12, EDD 11/9/12, MMC 3/27/12, D&C 4/10/12

    BFP #2: 11/16/12, EDD 7/25/13, MMC 12/5/12, D&C 12/6/12, Complete molar pregnancy confirmed 2/9/13, benched for 6 months until  August 2013

    IUI #1, 8/16/13 Femara + Menopur, 3 mature follicles, BFN
    IUI #2 (back-to-back, 9/12/13 and 9/13/13) Femara + Menopur, four mature follicles, BFFN
    IUI #3, 10/8/13 Femara + Menopur, six mature follicles, BFN

    BFP #3, 12/9/2013, while on treatment break, EDD: 8/22/2014  Please stick and grow, LO!

    Additional Dx: hypothyroidism, TgAb positive & anti-TPO positive, POR/DOR (2/2013), and suspected endometriosis

    ******All AL always welcome******
    image

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  • HorseLover11HorseLover11 member

    I am so so so sorry. There are no words. :( 

    lots of hugs  

    Off BC, NTNP since June 2011

    Started acupuncture/herbs July 2012 

    First BFP 9-8-2012,EDD 5-15-2013, heartbeat of 175 at 8w2d, mmc discovered on 10-26-12 (11w6d) Cytotec on 10/26/12

    8/23/13 DX with non-IR PCOS

    Second BFP 9.12.13, EDD 5.29.14, heartbeat of 114 at 6w1d, mmc discovered on 10-18-13, D&C on 10/23/13 (baby girl/Trisomy 10) 

    Third BFP (surprise at Beta draw after d&c) on 1/10/14 (15dpo), EDD 9.20.14 Please be our RAINBOW!

     Lilypie First Birthday tickers

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  • LunaBug924LunaBug924 member
    This is so unfair, there are no words. Tons of hugs coming your way. Wish there was more to say.
    BFP#1 8/3/12~EDD 4/1/13~Natural M/C 9/1/12-9w6d 
    BFP#2 5/30/13~EDD 2/3/14~Confirmed CP 5/31/13
    7/12/13 Hysteroscopy & Lap Lysis of Adhesions
    1st Cycle on Clomid Aug '13: BFP#3 8/24/13~EDD 5/3/14
    Hoping Third Time's a Charm!!- IT'S A GIRL!!!! 
    KAYLIE MARIE IS HERE! BORN 5/4/14

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    Lilypie - (nUwf)

    image 
    All AL-ers welcome in my posts! <3
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  • Amores0121Amores0121 member
    Red, I am so so sorry. I wish i could take your pain away, or at least give you a real-life hug. Lots of love and smushy hugs.


    BFP #1 ended in MMC. Discovered Oct 2005 @10w5d, baby stopped growing around 6w. D&C.
    BFP#2 Nov 2005. Baby's heart stopped @ 8w3d. D&C Jan 2006. Trisomy 18
    BFP#3 Nov 2006. My "miracle baby" DD born 7/25/07
    BFP #4 11/6/12. EDD 7/16/13~my birthday! No sac found @ 5w1d, betas not increasing. Natural m/c started 11/20/12.

    BFP#5 11/9/13.  EDD 7/21/14  Our beautiful rainbow born on his due date!!

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  • ashx3reneeashx3renee member
    I am so sorry Red.  So many ((hugs)) your way sweetie. 
    9.08.12 BFP! | 11.01.12 MMC Discovered at 12 weeks| 11.06.12 D&C 
    11.25.13 BFP#2| 4.07.14 TEAM PINK!!!|EDD 8.8.14 Please be our Rainbow Charlotte Grace <3
    7.01.15 BFP#3| 10.06.15 TEAM BLUE!| EDD 3.02.16
    PgAL/PAL always welcome
    imageimage


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  • SunShineGirl2011SunShineGirl2011
    So sorry for your loss - its not fair!  Sending T&Ps your way for strength throough this difficult time!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • mgh2008mgh2008 member
    ((Hugs)) Red.  I am so so sorry!
    BFP #1- 12/3/09, EDD- 8/7/10, Missed M/C at 8 weeks & D&C- 1/5/10, BFP #2- July 2010, Baby Charlie Born March 29, 2011, BFP #3- 4/12/12- EDD- 12/21/12, Missed M/C at 10 1/2 weeks 5/29/12, D&C 6/1/12- testing results showed triploidy, IF testing all normal, February 2013- IUI#1, femara, follistim, trigger =BFN, March 2013- IUI#2, femara, follistim, trigger= BFP #4, 3/20/12, Beta#1 16dpo= 397, Beta #2 18dpo= 1037, Beta#3 24dpo= 11,589- EDD 11/30/13- It's a Girl!!! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
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  • luciddreamer106luciddreamer106 member
    I'm so sorry you're going through this again. Life is so unfair sometimes.
    Multiple TTCAL 1image
    image
     TTC #1 since March 2011 
    BFP #1: EDD 4/16/13~~blighted ovum w/ 2 gestational sacs~~Loss on 9/18/12
    BFP #2: EDD 9/3/13~~Slow HB at 1st U/S~~MMC -Loss on 2/13/13
    9/13, 10/13, 1/14: letrozole + trigger + TI = All BFNs
    3/14: IUI#1 letrozole/Bravelle/Menopur + trigger = BFN
    BFP #3: EDD 1/27/15 Please be our rainbow! ...Team Green


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  • CrunkalCrunkal member

    Oh sweetie, I am so sorry to hear this news. Sending you and YH lots of love and hugs and good vibes. My heart is breaking for you right now. No one should ever have to go through this. 

     image

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  • Junebug060609Junebug060609 member
    Oh no, Red. My heart is breaking for you.

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

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  • nrcrossnrcross member
    I am so sorry for your losses. I will be keeping you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.

    TTC Since June 2012 BFP #1 08/01/12, D&C 09/07/12 9 weeks, Blighted Ovum BFP #2 01/01/13 m/c 5 weeks BFP #3 03/02/13 D&C 4/15/13 m/c 11 weeks, 07/19/13 Hysteroscopy for Scar Tissue, 9/12813 Hysteroscopy & Laparoscopy for Scar Tissue, Cleared to TTC October 2013. 

    BFP # 4 11/01/2013 EDD 07/12/14

    Dear God, Since I couldn't hold my little one in my lap and tell him about you, could you hold him in your lap and tell him about me?

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  • meli1025meli1025 member
    I am so, so sorry.  ((hugs))
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BFP#1 - 11/27/09 EDD 8/5/10, DS1 arrived 7/24/10 via emergency c-section.

    BFP#2 - 6/18/12 EDD 2/23/13, sweet baby girl born sleeping on 10/4/12 at 19 weeks, 3 days.

    BFP #3 - 1/18/13 EDD 10/1/13, natural mc on 2/2/13 at 5 weeks, 4 days.

    BFP #4 - 8/29/13 EDD 5/12/14, our sweet rainbow, DS2 born 4/29/14 via c-section

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  • toomanycats1toomanycats1 member

    I'm so sorry this keeps happening to you Red :(  

    ((Hugs)) 


    Me: Endometriosis, PCOS, Insulin Resistance, Estrogen Dominance, Irregular Cycles
    DH:  100% Abnormal Sperm Morphology
     BFP #1 (Surprise!)  "Monkey"- 09/16/2006. DS born 06/01/2007.   
    BFP #2  "Quinn" EDD 06/21/13- MMC @ 8 weeks - Disc. 12/12/12 @ 13w0d 
    BFP #3  "Luna" EDD 03/31/14- MC 07/29/13 @ 5 w0d 
    BFP #4  "Star" EDD 07/06/14- MC 11/28/13 @ 8 weeks
    BFP #5 "Baby J"- 02/07/14. DS born 10/29/2014 My Rainbow!
    ~Everyone Welcome~

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  • Buckeye608Buckeye608 member

    imagemightymousy:
    Awwww sh!t :( I'm so sorry *hugs* I missed you but I don't want to see you back here.

    This.

    I'm so sorry to see you back here. (((Hugs))) 

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  • SuzyQq02SuzyQq02 member
    I am so, so sorry, which is so inadequate to say at a time like this. Sending you all the hugs I can possibly muster.
    Suzy & Brian November 3, 2007 "...this one time, at band camp..." ;-)
    TTC #1 since 9/2012
    BFP #1 2/16/13, EDD 10/13/13, CP 2/21/13
    BFP #2 6/2/13
    Baby J-Bug 2/8/14 My Wedding Bio from back in the day
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  • uneek1323uneek1323 member

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((red))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    I'm so sorry love. Let me know if you need anything. I love you and I hate that this happened to you again. 

      Image and video hosting by TinyPicimage image
    ~*~Everyone is welcome~*~
    imageImage and video hosting by TinyPic image 
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  • jokyhojokyho member

    There are no words. So sorry Red.

    HUGS

    BFP #1 June 1, 2012 missed m/c July 3, 2012 Cytotec July 12, 2012 image
    My Ovulation Chart     || Ovulation Chart TTCAL March Siggy Challenge: Chris O'Dowd Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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