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Parenting
RockyTopVols
member
Online Relationships
RockyTopVols
member
in Parenting
I just realized I have been in a close online relationship with someone for about 6 months now. We have never met, but we talk daily on the internet and on the phone. We spend time coordinating things together and talking about family, etc.
The other guy on my team who I work closest with lives and works in Denver. We chat as friendly as can be, talk often, work on projects together, etc. But we have never met face to face. Maybe one day we will, but no plans to yet. We trust each other to do the projects assigned to us, share personal info such as stories about our kids etc, and I consider him a friend. And no one thinks this is weird.
But then there is a stigma if I say "my friend online....." and people are like "oh that isn't your real friend". Just like online dating. I met my wife online and people think that is so weird. But as a coworker, it is acceptable.
You guys have any online relationships? Do you consider anyone online an actual friend? Have you ever had a romantic online relationship?
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Re: Online Relationships
Maybe I should have saved this for FFFC, but I met DH on a very popular dating website almost 8 years ago.
At the time, I will admit to feeling a little bit embarrassed about it-- like when I told my girlfriends about him, I remember feeling anxious about what they were going to think. Now it seems almost kitchy.
I work with a lot of young-ish (20s and 30s) single women. Almost all of them are on at least one dating website, and a few of them are on several.
I think the stigma is definitely disappearing.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
I definitely have a few friendships with people I met online who I consider to be near and dear friends. We now talk on off-boards, text, have spoken on the phone, have sent care packages back and forth.. and some I have had the chance to meet up with IRL.
DH and I met online, and our 'relationship' progressed from emails to AOL IM to phone calls to meeting IRL. Our online and telephone friendship spanned almost 6 years. Honestly, if he had proposed to me the day we met in person for the first time, I would have said yes. (Instead he waited 3 whole months lol.) That's how well I felt like I knew him. We've been married almost 10 years now and officially together as a couple for almost 11.
ETA: Early one in my online friendship/relationship with DH, people were weird about it. Now, when I tell people how we met, they don't bat an eye, and they usually tell me about all the people they know who met online. I agree with Drea. It's only weird if you think it's weird for yourself.
I met DH through an online dating service. Turns out we lived about a mile apart irl.
DH met one of his best men in our wedding online as well.
BFP #2 5/27/12. EDD 2/1/13. m/c and D&C 6/21/12.
I think online relationships are of this time. Not weird at all IMO. I think you can form a meaningful relationship online. As far as dating online I see some advantages to an online relationship first. You don't get caught up in all the physical stuff too soon that way.
Anyway, I don't think it's weird that you consider this guy your friend.
Well, yeah. Of course it's not ideal if one (or both) party is lying. I guess that's a risk you take with online dating, but I'm sure most realize that going into an online dating situation.
H has a lot of work acquaintances that he talks to online and on the phone, but they've never met. These guys have sent stuff to our house before (like wine from their area of the country) and we've sent them stuff before too. I don't think it's weird at all. I am sure they would meet up if they ever happened to be in the same city.
I also have Bumpie "friends" and would love to meet them sometime. I often refer to them as my "online mom friends."
I do think it's weird to "fall in love" with someone online that you've never met though, ala Catfish.
ETA: I don't think meeting someone from Match or Eharmony is weird either - I have over 7 couples that I know who are married now and met through an online dating site. But "dating" someone online for years and never meeting them is weird, IMO.
Before SO I dated a guy for a few months I met on okcupid. We talked for a while before and met in a public place. So I don't think online friendships or relationships are weird.
I am dead from cuteness overload looking at your twins! Adorable!
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
I met my H online when I was only 13 and he was like 15...back in the old days of teen chat rooms and AOL and all that jazz... We were email pen pals and IM chat buddies for a few years, played games together online, and we discovered we liked eachother and had a long distance online relationship ever since I was 15 and he was (gasp) about to turn 18. He lived in So. CA and I lived in AZ, so we werent TOO far apart. I felt I loved him before I even saw a picture of him, looking back... we just had so much in common and had good conversation. Yes I know we were young but, obviously the feelings stuck!
Our parents were crazy enough to let us meet face to face about 8 months into that official relationship... Ha! Now that I'm a parent I can see how crazy that was, my Mom letting this 18 year old boy travel down to AZ to meet her daughter, whom he wanted to date. Though believe me, she was a hawk on us the wholeeeee weekend.
Luckily, he was who he said he was, I was who I said I was...we spent the next 6 years visiting back and forth between AZ and CA, for every holiday... he came down for my prom when I graduated... we got to know eachothers families very well and then it was no ones surprise when I decided to move to CA and get engaged when I turned 21.... and we got married a year later....
Soooo I married a guy I spent the majority of our relationship living apart from... we talked every single day, and visited at least every couple months, but it was still risky
Our 5 year wedding anniversary is in April, and it will also be 12 years "together" overall.
ANYWAY -- to this day, so many years later, it STILL seems awkward to explain to people how we met, but it is what it is! Online relationships can be real, and just as special as real life relationships, depending on how you treat it....if anything, we learned MORE about eachother this way because all we could do is talk the majority of the time... So that's my experience.
Aw thank you! Yes we did manage to make us a darn cute kid, and I say that without any bias of course!
I find this funny. DH and I met in a similar fashion. Like seriously, very similar. I was 13 and he was 15. We met in a teen chat. The only big difference is that we lived within walking distance of each other and never met. Until I was 17 and he was 19. Too funny.
I have been on a message board that was a spin off of a Knot board for 8 years now and we are a close group. Some of the girls are much closer and go on vacations together and their families are close etc.
Just this week one of our members husband died and we, and 2 other boards she posts on, are banding together and sending care packages to her and her daughter as well as money and gift cards for meals and bills. Some of the board members will be attending her H's viewing and funeral. Just because you are an online friend doesn't make the relationship any less real.
Thank you!