H is getting on my nerves — The Bump
Pregnant after IF

H is getting on my nerves

This is more of a vent- but after everything we have been through and the losses we have had my h wants to tell everyone we're pregnant and it is getting on my nerves. 

I am only 4 weeks and I have explained to him that anything can go wrong (God forbid) and no one knows we went through IVF and I want it to stay that way.

So yesterday he told me that he told all the guys he plays basket ball with because he had to tell someone.... HELLO I want to scream it from the roof tops but I am not. 

I told him how I would feel if we told people now and something happens, he keep reassuring me but that doesnt matter because he really dont know what is going to take place.... he just doesnt get it!   I have compromised and told him we can tell my parents at 10 weeks and no earlier. 

If I had it my way I would tell people after 12 to 16 weeks maybe longer!

 Anyone else's H being this difficult?

01/07-09 off BCP NTNP 07/09 - ectopic right side removed 08/11 HSG my left tube is all clear- Blood work all normal 12/11 SA everything is normal 04/12 1st round of Clomid 100 mg ovulating from right side= BFP (left tube picked up right side?) Beta 96 Beta 2 126 Beta 3 150 04/17/12 Betas dropped 112 miscarried 5w3d 05/27/12 2nd round of Clomid-6 follies R- 18,12,12 L-15, 12,12 -60ml- HCG+IUI =BFN 06/27/12 3rd round of Clomid-4+follies R-18 L, 28, 23- 139ml- HCG+IUI= BFN 07/26/12 4th round of Clomid-R side only -20-24-25-27 = BFN 08/25/12 5th round of Clomid-L-26 139ml +HCG+ IUI = BFN 09/22/12 6th round of Clomid-L-18-19 R-13-18-23? natural = BFN 10/24/12 7th round of Clomid-L-21-23 HCG +natural = BFN 12/21/12 starting BC moving on to IVF 1/7/13 Baseline and blood work, sono,Lupron, Bravelle and Menopur 2/11/13 ER 8retrieved 5mature/ICSI 3 fertilized 2/14/13 3dt 2-10 cell/1 frostie Beta#1 249 Beta#2 511 BabyFetus Ticker

Re: H is getting on my nerves

  • Just wanted to send you some {{hugs}}.  We didn't really have this problem because our families and close friends knew we went through IVF (a few of our close friends also went through IVF so they were a huge help to us throughout the process) so we kind of had to tell them right away, but they also knew to keep quiet until we were ready to announce.  Anyone we told respected our wishes and kept quiet until we were clear of the first tri!  

    My only bit of advice is telling your H to keep thinking positive thoughts and prayers going so that he doesn't regret telling anyone too soon.  I'll send lots of T&P your way as well, and hope you're here for a H&H 9 more months!! 

    Skylar Elena and Hollyn Isabella... our two beautiful blessings arrived April 18, 2013!
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  • I tell everyone my business so the whole world knows everyting.  But my dh loves showing the pictures to everyone.  Strangers, waitresses, everyone.  I am just happy that he is happy and I am glad that I told alot of people because they were all praying for us the whole time.  And it was helpful to me when the dr. thought that I lost the baby.  To know that everyone was pulling for us and supporting us meant the world to me.  But that is just me.
    Married 12-12-04
    TTC since 07
    me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
    DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
    IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
    IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
    Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
    Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
    Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
    Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!
  • We actually told a few close friends right away, and our parents a couple days later. It's hard when you're going through IF b/c if anyone knows you're doing IVF they might be asking you soon anyway! Takes the fun out of announcing it until you're "out of the woods" but it is what it is. I feel that if I do m/c and need support, my family and friends will feel upset that I didn't tell them I was pg in the first place. We m/c at 5 weeks a couple years ago and hadn't told anyone we were even pg, and it was hard going backwards to tell the news and then grieve with my family. I say do what you feel most comfortable with, but feel free to share your happy news with those who are closest to you :) GL!
    TTC #1 since 01/2011 Me: MTHFR C677t homozygous (on lovenox) DH: MFI (poor morph, counts, motility) Natural BFP #1: 05/2011, M/C @ 5 weeks RE consult 12/2011: 3 failed IUIs (01/2012-07/2012) 02/2013: IVF#1 23follies/19mature/9fert with ICSI/2 A grade embies trans day5/4 B grade embies frozen. First beta 10dp5dt 2/26=529! 2nd Beta 12dp5dt 2/28=1253 We are pregnant with TWIN GIRLS due 11/4/13!
      IAmPregnant Ticker

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  • image Jbromberg1985:

    We didn't really have this problem because our families and close friends knew we went through IVF (a few of our close friends also went through IVF so they were a huge help to us throughout the process) so we kind of had to tell them right away, but they also knew to keep quiet until we were ready to announce.  Anyone we told respected our wishes and kept quiet until we were clear of the first tri!  

    This exactly. I'm sure your H is just really excited and I'm sure he wants to yell it from the rooftops! But, he also needs to respect your privacy. So...maybe just have a sitdown talk with him about it and voice your concerns. Maybe since he's told some people now, he will simmer a bit Smile

    **TTC #1 Sep 2009-Feb 2013**   Me: 33 DH: 32 (healthy, SA = normal)

    DX (May 2010) = Lap #1 showed Stage I-II endometriosis. HSG normal. Tx with 6 mo Lupron (which did nothing...) Lap #2 June 2011 to remove endo, uterine fibroid, and polyp

    IUI #1-#3 (July-Sep 2011): All Clomid 50 mg + unmonitored IUI = All BFN

    October 2011 - April 2012: Outta $$$ (no insurance coverage) = back to tryin' on our own

    May 2012 - August 2012: Mental break from trying

    October 2012: New OB. Bloodwork normal aside from slightly low progesterone

    November 2012: IUI #4: Letrozole 2.5 mg + Novarel trigger + monitored IUI + progesterone = BFN

    IVF #1: Long Lupron Protocol,Menopur,Follistim, ER = 2/12/13 27R/26M/23F

    2/17/13 Transferred 1 perfect Grade 1 blast. 17 frostbabies.

    HPT 7dp5dt: BFP!!! Beta #1 9dp5dt: 108 Beta #2 11dp5dt: 368

    U/S #1 3/21: Heartbeat and one perfect bean!!  DS born 11/6/13 via c-section

    TTC #2 March - August 2015 = all BFNs

    Prep for FET #1: Aug 2015: found "mass" in uterus on saline sonogram; scheduled a hysteroscopy to remove. 

    Sept 2015: Hysteroscopy: mass turned out to be scar tissue(?), all removed. Recheck saline sonogram 2 weeks later showed "stuff" still in uterus (more scar tissue? remnants from surgery? Will see if clears with a period). Recheck saline sonogram 1 week later: all clear! Start Lupron and Estrace. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining only 5mm, add in patches. Follow up u/s 1 week later: uterine lining = 4.3mm (argh!), stop estrace and patches and start estradiol injections twice/week. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining = 5mm :/ Instructed to keep on estradiol injections and recheck in 5 days = lining still at 5mm. Need to make a decision - go for it? Or toss in the towel w/ this cycle and start all over again next year with a new protocol. Decided to go for it as we had 17 frosties; what have we got to lose?? 

    12/2/15 = transferred 1 perfect Grade B blast

    12/9/15 = HPT - BFP!!!!

    Beta #1 12/11/15: 236    Beta #2  12/14/15: 503   Please stick little one!!!!

    U/S scheduled for week of 1/4/16

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers  
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