School-Aged Children

Advice please: DD crying at school

My DD is 6 and in first grade.  She is an outgoing, easy going child. She has always loved school.  She has done great since the beginning of the year, loves her teacher, has no difficulties with school work.  Now suddenly she has started crying in school.  Her teacher contacted me to let me know that once or twice a day she is crying in school because she misses me.  I tried having her bring a picture of us in to keep at her desk (teacher's suggestion) and she said that made her more sad. I try sending in positive notes, doesn't work.  She usually can calm herself down, but one day she was not able to.

I have asked her if this is about anything else.  I thought because this started out of nowhere maybe something happened at school. DD said it isn't, that she just misses me.  Has anyone ever gone thru this?  Any suggestions?  I'm sure it is just a phase but I feel bad that she is having a tough time and I don't know how to help her.  She goes to school in the morning fine and comes home happy. 

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Re: Advice please: DD crying at school

  • Is she getting enough rest? DD is more prone to tears when she's tired (I'm the same way).

    Have you ever read "The Kissing Hand" to her? It's a sweet story to help kids remember that their parents are always with them, even when they're not physically there.

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  • imageKatFCo:
    Is she getting enough rest? DD is more prone to tears when she's tired I'm the same way.Have you ever read "The Kissing Hand" to her? It's a sweet story to help kids remember that their parents are always with them, even when they're not physically there.

    Also is she eating enough breakfast and her lunch? Does she love what she has for lunch?
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • Although neither of my kids went through this, I don't think it's unusual for kids to go through a stage of separation anxiety at around 6ish.

    Help her think of strategies she might use if she starts to think sad thoughts while she's at school.  I agree that thinking about Mommy, looking at her picture, etc., might make it worse.  My sense is that the answer is to find something to do in the classroom to distract her from thinking about how much she misses you.  She needs to think about her friends, how nice/supportive her teacher is, how much she enjoys specials or computer time, or whatever.

    Instead of getting locked into a cycle of thinking more and more about her own sadness and how much she's missing you, she needs to practice intentionally changing her pattern so that she's not dwelling on it.

    Ultimately, she will grow out of it, although that doesn't make it any easier for you or her while it's going on! 

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • Thanks for all the advice.  I agree that we don't want to give it too much attention or dwell on it.  She had a better day today and told me she thinks she is sad because she just spent so much time with me over vacation.  Hopefully that is it and we will be back to normal soon.

    Auntie...my ds is doing well.  I still feel like all I say to him is "calm down", but other than that doing well right now.  He has a great friend at school who is a positive role model.  We still have our days where the emotions are over the top, but big improvements from years ago.  Having a baby brother has been a positive thing for him too.  He adores him.  Thanks for asking!

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  • Does she have a high metabolism? I mean higher than the average 6 yr old? When I was a kid I would have those types of crying jags, and we found out it was because I would get hypoglycemic due to a high metabolism. I would be super emotional; everything was like the end of the world at those moments. I ended up just taking a sandwich baggie of dried fruit to class with me and eating some throughout the day, especially after recess when I burned all my calories.My teacher was really cool about it. I'm sure she would rather have me munch an apricot than burst into tears!

     

  • imagedocmay25:

    Thanks for all the advice.  I agree that we don't want to give it too much attention or dwell on it.  She had a better day today and told me she thinks she is sad because she just spent so much time with me over vacation.  Hopefully that is it and we will be back to normal soon.

    Auntie...my ds is doing well.  I still feel like all I say to him is "calm down", but other than that doing well right now.  He has a great friend at school who is a positive role model.  We still have our days where the emotions are over the top, but big improvements from years ago.  Having a baby brother has been a positive thing for him too.  He adores him.  Thanks for asking!

      I could see this happening with my DD as well.    Hopefully it won't happen at Easter break as well.
    Cheryl, Evan 4.25.05, Paige 7.2.07
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