I made an appt with Dr. Wessbluth

MommaP12

He's the author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and is based less than a mile from me in downtown Chicago.

DD naps barely 20 minutes a day.  She slept in 50 minute increments last night.  She is 6 months old on Friday and has only napped more than 20 minutes a handful of times and has only STTN ONE time since being born.  

I read his book and follow it to a T, but it's not working.  I do CIO, I do graduated/Ferber and NOTHING works.  If she falls asleep even while nursing, she wakes the minute I put her down.  She has completely regressed and it's like I have a 2 week old.

 I have a demanding executive job (that I already hate) and a 4 year old to care for and I can't go on like this. 

Stasi

HE'S BASED IN CHICAGO!!!!!!!!!!!

***runs off to find cell phone***

ETA: I really hope he'll be able to help you out...he's great and I follow his book too. It sounds like you've got a tough situation on your hands, good luck to you...I bet you'll getting more sleep from her in no time!

MomtobeNJ

What a great opportunity! Come back and let us know what he has to say. DD is a good sleeper (knock on wood!) but I'm really interested.

kristyand

I once upon a time had an appt. set with him as well. I have corresponded with a kind, helpful woman that went through with the whole process with him. I'd be happy to share with you what she has written me.

FWIW, our (sleep) situations sound similar (well, they did) and after a few attempts I just know that while I'd love a panacea, my kid does not fit that mold and I feel like I'd be breaking her like one breaks a horse if I went that route.

I do not mean for that to guilt you in any way, I just say that after knowing what he's going to say to you and having pathetically attempted it.

Also, I read his book maybe 5 times before she was born in full, and then I read the relevant chapters for the first two months of her life, over and over and over. I don't know why but I felt like if I read it more I'd find something I was missing and that it would make it all better... because I'd read, I was prepared. But no suck luck.

Mind you, I truly do think I could sleep train her per his methods. I'm just unwilling to. I think it works for some kids, perhaps you think it will work for yours. But I think it would be more of a breaking, than a teaching for some. Again, I don't mean that as a guilt statement because I suppose I don't believe it is any sort of permanent breaking, but at the time, that's certainly what I now think of it as.

I think it really depends on your child.

I also have another reference for you for a sleep god that has other methods if you're interested in checking that out.  

MommaP12

kristyandruss:

I once upon a time had an appt. set with him as well. I have corresponded with a kind, helpful woman that went through with the whole process with him. I'd be happy to share with you what she has written me.

Sure, please PM me.  I also wonder - if you don't believe that you can follow his plan, why did you read the book 5 times and keep referring to it?  What he states in there is pretty basic - put them down after only about 2 hours of awake time, watch their cues, watch the clock, choose to do "extinction" or "graduated extinction" is the crux of it so did you do any of that?  I did all of it for my son and he STTN by 5 months and to this day is still an outstanding sleeper and the only 4 year old among my friends that goes down for a nap still and goes to sleep and stays asleep for 12 hours at night.

Otherwise I don't understand why you'd read it so much and keep referring to it.  I mean no disrespect or snark in asking this and appreciate your willingness to share info. 

hmp1

Good luck! 

Cheenomae

Good Luck! I'm excited to hear how the appointment goes. I'd love to figure out this whole nap crap that we suck at in my house!

MeatballEsq

GL! What a great opportunity! Let us know how it goes!

mlf625

That's awesome!  I hope it will be helpful to you and DD.  That sounds miserably exhausting.

LuvSD

kristyandruss:

I once upon a time had an appt. set with him as well. I have corresponded with a kind, helpful woman that went through with the whole process with him. I'd be happy to share with you what she has written me.

FWIW, our (sleep) situations sound similar (well, they did) and after a few attempts I just know that while I'd love a panacea, my kid does not fit that mold and I feel like I'd be breaking her like one breaks a horse if I went that route.

I do not mean for that to guilt you in any way, I just say that after knowing what he's going to say to you and having pathetically attempted it.

Also, I read his book maybe 5 times before she was born in full, and then I read the relevant chapters for the first two months of her life, over and over and over. I don't know why but I felt like if I read it more I'd find something I was missing and that it would make it all better... because I'd read, I was prepared. But no suck luck.

Mind you, I truly do think I could sleep train her per his methods. I'm just unwilling to. I think it works for some kids, perhaps you think it will work for yours. But I think it would be more of a breaking, than a teaching for some. Again, I don't mean that as a guilt statement because I suppose I don't believe it is any sort of permanent breaking, but at the time, that's certainly what I now think of it as.

I think it really depends on your child.

I also have another reference for you for a sleep god that has other methods if you're interested in checking that out.  

 I would love to know some references. I haven't even started to do any kind of sleep training and am thinking it may be about time. I just don't really know where to start. I have Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Baby and have skimmed some of it but I don't think I am ready to do the CIO thing. I am too much of a softie when my LO cries. I literally run to her room, something I need to work on.

kristyand

MommaP12:

kristyandruss:

I once upon a time had an appt. set with him as well. I have corresponded with a kind, helpful woman that went through with the whole process with him. I'd be happy to share with you what she has written me.

Sure, please PM me.  I also wonder - if you don't believe that you can follow his plan, why did you read the book 5 times and keep referring to it?  What he states in there is pretty basic - put them down after only about 2 hours of awake time, watch their cues, watch the clock, choose to do "extinction" or "graduated extinction" is the crux of it so did you do any of that?  I did all of it for my son and he STTN by 5 months and to this day is still an outstanding sleeper and the only 4 year old among my friends that goes down for a nap still and goes to sleep and stays asleep for 12 hours at night.

Otherwise I don't understand why you'd read it so much and keep referring to it.  I mean no disrespect or snark in asking this and appreciate your willingness to share info. 

I'll look for the correspondences ASAP and PM you. I'll let you know when I do.

One of my closest friends, and amazing mother to two wonderful little girls, and pediatric neonatologist, followed, had success and highly recommended the book to me. In fact, she got it for me. My sister had a really hard time with her son, sleep wise, and did everything "wrong" according to Weissbluth. I was so afraid of her reality and judged her so hard (before being a mom, genius, I know). So I read his book over and over to make sure I had it, understood it, and was ready to implement it. I did everything according to plan from the start. It wasn't going according to plan though, much to my dismay. I lost my everloving sh'it in front of this board thanks to the combination of my PPA, that book and my not-so-cooperative monster.

But I was stubborn and determined and stuck it out. I have I can't tell you how many emails, texts and phone calls relating to this topic, that book specifically and my implementation of it back and forth with my friend. I eventually just gave in and did whatever got her the most sleep, even if it went against everything I thought I was supposed to do (thanks to this board hassling me).

My Pedi. gave me this other woman's phone number who had a sleeper much like mine, she lives in my area and went through the process with him from a distance, which you will see he offers on his website. I spoke with them and began the process. (Oh, and it eventually worked well for the woman who went through it all with him but she had to do the extinction method (shut the door at 7pm, go back in at 7am unless your kid is vomiting or choking).)

I returned to his methods on multiple occasions thinking A just wasn't ready for them (not the CIO, but the simple things like, always sleep on a still surface, etc.). Fail, fail, FAIL.

So yes, I tried. Just like you tried what you did with your first with your second and it didn't so much work, I've tried with my first and it hasn't worked. Again though, I think it could if I were willing to wait to the age (4-5 mo) and have just let her CIO, extinction method. Weissbluth thinks between 4 and 5 mos is the ideal age for this BTW (ETA: I shouldn't speak for him as I haven't spoken directly with him. I get this from the woman I've spoken with who has worked directly with him). He will say so in person, but does not in his books.

By the time we got to the point where I could have done it age wise, I was no longer willing to and had learned enough about her, and developed other tools, that I no longer cared to pursue his techniques.

So that's where I'm coming from. Please hear me when I say, I do not judge those that choose CIO as their technique for achieving better sleep for all; it was my intention to do so. I'm just sharing my experience, and am happy to share the info I've been given.

And I chose to share my experience as I thought it sounded like you *might* have a child like mine that might just not be cut out for it, regardless of the impact on you... which is why I also mentioned the other sleep person, as an alternative to consider.   

MommaP12

Thank you KristyandRuss for all that you've shared and are willing to share.

My DD is going to her regular pediatrician on 3/23 and my husband wants me to cancel the appointment with Weissbluth (it's not cheap!) and wait until we see her regular pediatrician (whom we love) first.  So I'm going to cancel it and see how it goes until the 3/23 appointment with our usual pediatrician. 

I will say I did follow the book starting at 4 months with DS (it was about 4.5 months old that we started CIO and we started with naps on the weekends when we were home with him first) and with DD we started at about 5-5.5 months.  Also, she does not have her own room and I'm not sure if that comes into play.

I really hope your child's sleep improves also - it's so important all around!  I hope you find the info and will still share it with me.  Thanks again. 

kristyand

We are doing much better sleep wise, relatively speaking... but I also don't work, so it's pretty much all I do all day every day. Help the kid learn to sleep. I realize that is far from realistic for most, and wont be possible with a second child.

Anyhow, yes, it is quite expensive. The woman I spoke with told me that he's going to say:

Start a routine, once that's established, put the baby down to sleep at an early hour and leave the room, don't come back until you want morning to begin, unless baby is choking or vomiting. Start with bed time. Once you've had success with that continue with BT and then do it for the first nap of the day, all other naps you just do what you have to to get the most sleep so baby isn't OT. Once you have success with BT and first nap, continue on with all other nap times. 

I'm sure he says more than that but that's what she told me and said that pretty much I could skip the sleep consultation and just do that and then if that doesn't work I could do the whole expensive deal and see what he has to add.

I have the excel spread sheet he has everyone fill out that charts baby's sleep. That's what she emailed me, the rest of the info was relayed by phone and I took notes. If you would like that spread sheet I can email it to you, just PM me your email.

kristyand

LuvSD:

kristyandruss:

I also have another reference for you for a sleep god that has other methods if you're interested in checking that out.  

 I would love to know some references. I haven't even started to do any kind of sleep training and am thinking it may be about time. I just don't really know where to start. I have Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Baby and have skimmed some of it but I don't think I am ready to do the CIO thing. I am too much of a softie when my LO cries. I literally run to her room, something I need to work on.

The same friend I mentioned above gave me this reference. She has had friends use her with success.

https://www.mommywise.com/ 

MommaP12

kristyandruss:

We are doing much better sleep wise, relatively speaking... but I also don't work, so it's pretty much all I do all day every day. Help the kid learn to sleep. I realize that is far from realistic for most, and wont be possible with a second child.

Anyhow, yes, it is quite expensive. The woman I spoke with told me that he's going to say:

Start a routine, once that's established, put the baby down to sleep at an early hour and leave the room, don't come back until you want morning to begin, unless baby is choking or vomiting. Start with bed time. Once you've had success with that continue with BT and then do it for the first nap of the day, all other naps you just do what you have to to get the most sleep so baby isn't OT. Once you have success with BT and first nap, continue on with all other nap times. 

I'm sure he says more than that but that's what she told me and said that pretty much I could skip the sleep consultation and just do that and then if that doesn't work I could do the whole expensive deal and see what he has to add.

I have the excel spread sheet he has everyone fill out that charts baby's sleep. That's what she emailed me, the rest of the info was relayed by phone and I took notes. If you would like that spread sheet I can email it to you, just PM me your email.

Well that's lame.  We already have a routine that's been set for months of nursing, solids, bath, bed and it barely varies by 30 minutes any given night despite my working full time.  DH is home with DD during the day through May 1 so he watching her naps and sleep training those as much as possible.

The spreadsheet = the sleep log?  They emailed me that and a consent form upon making the appointment, so I have it if that's what it is.  Let me know if it's something different.

 Honestly, I have no issues with doing CIO and that's what we're doing, BUT, she is sleeping in our room so that is a whole other ball game.  I guess we'll keep on keeping on and keep a record of her sleep up until her appointment with the regular pedi on 3/23.

Also, that's interesting about shutting the door and not returning until morning.  In his book, he says to go soothe your baby if she's cried for an hour. Sound like he contradicts himself a little.