Guys help me understand.. — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

Guys help me understand..

If you look at pictures of sexy women does it mean your wife's body isn't good enough? 

 Do you fantasize about them?

If it really hurt your wife/partner would you have a problem stopping?   

My husband goes on a car forum and I recently discovered there's a thread where all the guys post basically nude photos of women...it's hundreds of pages long and he's commented and liked a bunch of the posts. It hurts that I'm on miscarriage forums while he's on naked women forums. He always says he's so attracted to me, but in my eyes this proves otherwise.  

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Re: Guys help me understand..

  • imagebabyfox22:

    If you look at pictures of sexy women does it mean your wife's body isn't good enough?

    No

    imagebabyfox22:

     Do you fantasize about them?

    Yes

    imagebabyfox22:
     

    If it really hurt your wife/partner would you have a problem stopping?

    I don't feel qualified to answer this, because one thing that really attracted me to my wife is her general lack of jealousy about online adult material, even when she's not feeling so good about her body. Considering my sex drive is much higher than hers (especially post-baby), having a release valve is helpful for everyone.

    imagebabyfox22:
     

    He always says he's so attracted to me, but in my eyes this proves otherwise.  

    To be blunt, if his penis gets hard with you, he's sexually attracted to you. Men can love their partner and be physically attracted to other women. Heck, there are happily married women who enjoy lusting over half-dressed pictures of attractive men who post all over TheBump!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
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  • 1. No

    2. Me personally, no. Other men are different.

    3. No, but you need to communicate this to your partner. 

    4. Most forums have "that" thread. Dont take Porn personally. For guys, we have kinda been looking at some form of porn since we were 13. To not look at porn is the exception rather than the rule. If he says he finds you attractive without diverting his eyes, he probably means it. If he still can get it up for "sexy time" with you, it means he doesn't need porn to be with you. He probably does it out of habit.

    Again, I am not picking sides, only you can see the picture holistically. Since you are asking, we are only getting your side of the story. So our answers here might not be up to your liking. Trust your instincts. If you feel it is coming between you and him, you need to step up and say something to him. He will never catch the hint, because in his mind and in the minds of most men... He has done nothing wrong. Just my two cents. 

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  • 1. No

    2. No, but no harm.

    3. I would personally but I don't know if I can answer for someone else.

    I really wouldn't take it personally and I agree with the other guys, if he is still being affectionate and is able when you all are together then all is well.

    Heck I took my wife to a Brantley Gilbert concert and she kind of shyly told me he was good looking.

    I didn?t mind and it worked out well for me. ;)

  • Looking and fantasizing are pretty typical male behavior (and I'd bet to some extent just basic human behavior).

    If my wife were offended, would I have a problem stopping?  It is nearly impossible to stop.  Society uses sexy women to sell... you can't watch TV, or pass a magazine rack without seeing it... maybe not to the extent that you may be referring to, but it is still there.  Look at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.  Kate Upton is there half exposed.  

    Guys are hardwired to be attracted to women in general.  Just because he looks at other women does NOT mean that he is less attracted to you or doesn't love you.  It isn't like he's doing anything other than looking, he's not cheating on you with them.

  • Thanks for the responces! I know you guys hate questions like this, but I really do appreciate it ..So thank you all again!! Big Smile
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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