Choosing a Doula

JCWhitey

We have finally reached a decision on my whole "omg where am I going to have my baby issue" and have for sure settled on one of two hospitals (still trying to find an OB that will take me in my third trimester who's not already up to his ears in clients, so when that happens that'll determine the hospital).  My mom, who was originally going to pay for the home birth midwife, has now offered to pay for a doula instead and actually thinks this is a need for me, not an option.  Yay!    Especially since my ability to pick my OB based on ratings and our connection to him/her is drastically reduced by the fact that this is all happening to late.

So now onto trying to pick a doula from over a thousand miles away!  OMG it's not easy!  I was really hoping there's maybe be only one in the area and I'd have no choice just to make it easier, but there's not only several, there's an entire non-profit company of dozens volunteer and professional doulas just ready to come help you at your birth.  I get sent a list of doulas who do not have any clients during the time of my due date, and I am to pick from there.  I have no clue how to even start the process!  So...

How did you pick your doula?
What questions did you ask when you were selecting yours?
What qualities should I look for?
Do you think it would be best to just phone interview them or have my mom go meet a few in person as well?

tokenhoser

I did end up picking largely based on availability and cost last time (prices range from $300-$1200 here; we hired one that was $450 last time).

I did ask a few questions from the DONA site: https://www.dona.org/mothers/how_to_hire_a_doula.php

You should look for someone you like, "click" with, and that you would want to have around on a really hard day. 

I would do Skype over phone interviews as possible, but I wouldn't have my mom interview them. 

aylafsu88

I choose my doula based on vibes and her answers to specific questions.  The most important question I had for my doula was how she would handle me if I asked for pain medication.  I wanted to make sure she would stay positive and help me stay strong during labor if I thought I could not do it.  She gave me a very direct answer and in L&D she was excellent.  I did freak out a bit when I was pushing.  My doula told me to calm down and keep pushing because LO was almost here.  I personally loved her direct no nonsense attitude.  I also liked that she would be as involved or not involved as we wanted her to be.  During labor she helped remind H of ways he could help me.  She took a lot of pressure off of him so that he could enjoy our birth without stressing out about me the whole time.  We also liked that she had delivered patients at the hospital we were using and with the OBs I used.  This way she had a feel for their polices and procedure.  IMO it is best to meet in person.  This way you can have a face to face conversation with the potential doula and get a feel for her personality and attitude.  This women is going to see you naked and vulnerable, so you want to make sure she is someone you feel comfortable with.  Our doula was worth every cent we paid her and I  I will be using her for my next natural birth!

OldGlory

How did you pick your doula? first, she was recommended by a friend. Then her price was in a range we were comfortable with. We took her experience into consideration. Lastly, we considered how she answered questions.

What questions did you ask when you were selecting yours? Many of the DONA questions PP posted. I also asked about what was her most rewarding experience and most difficult experience while performing her doula duties. I also asked why she chose to get her certification through the organization that she did.

What qualities should I look for? Someone that you "click" with and you feel will be both supportive and honest. You don't want someone that will only tell you what you want to hear, if it's not in your best interest. For example, this doula (while working with my friend whom was going for a home birth) encouraged my friend to transfer to the hospital (along with the suggestion of the MW) though it wasn't what my friend wanted to hear.

Do you think it would be best to just phone interview them or have my mom go meet a few in person as well? I say YOU and YH should interview the doula either over the phone and/or skype. This is your decision, who you like may not be who your mom likes. Your mom isn't giving birth with her, you are. You need to like and be comfortable with your doula not your mom.

JCWhitey

Thank you ladies for your replies!  I hadn't thought of Skype, that's definitely something we can do.  Unfortunately meeting the doula in person won't be possible.  We aren't moving to MN until May (my third trimester) and by then it may be too late to choose someone as I guess July is a busy month. 

 

PansyPants

I picked my doula based on her being a Bradley teacher, being recommended by my midwife, her personality, and how much interaction she offered during the pregnancy. 

I would start interviewing the,m on the phone and Skype to see if anyone really has the vibe you're comfortable with. 

I would ask how long they'll spend with you in labor, what types of births they've attended, their impressions of your hospital options,  if theory do post part um as well as labor, if they offer lactation support (if you plan to breastfeed), what types of tools theory bring for labor (ambient sounds, massage tools like tennis balls, oils for your shoulders/back), does she do pictures for you during labor/birth (if you want therm), and just her thoughts about birth in general.

good luck finding the right fit!!