Would you invite again?

megemoney

My mom and best friend both approached me about a baby shower a little while back; together we've been working on the details of it.  I only intended to have one shower and this would be it. 

However, not too long ago it came to my attention that MIL and SIL were planning a "surprise" shower for me.  (It is no longer a surprise and everyone is ok with that.)  This other shower would take place BEFORE my "main" shower, be in the area where most of H's family is from...but 12 hours from us.  To my understanding, it will be only H's family, and maybe some family friends that I don't know (not entirely sure). 

Anyway- my "main" shower will be in the area where the majority of my family is from; we intended to invite all family which included all of H's family as well.  So my question lies here... since MIL and SIL are throwing their own shower for all of their and H's family, should I NOT invite all of H's family to my "main" shower?  I don't want to come off rude for not inviting them to my actual/"main" shower.  (The one MIL and SIL are doing is a week and a half away with no venue set yet and no invitations out yet....)  What do you think?

BrianaSimons

I hope your not driving 12 hrs pregnant. YIKES!

Thats a hard one. If you do invite them.....they already had a shower for you and may not even come. If you dont and they actually wanted to come then they feel left out and regret giving you a shower........

I say go ahead and invite them. Better safe then sorry, but if they dont show up dont feel bad because they have already had their own shower for you and DH

megemoney

BrianaSimons:

I hope your not driving 12 hrs pregnant. YIKES!

Thats a hard one. If you do invite them.....they already had a shower for you and may not even come. If you dont and they actually wanted to come then they feel left out and regret giving you a shower........

I say go ahead and invite them. Better safe then sorry, but if they dont show up dont feel bad because they have already had their own shower for you and DH

I won't be doing the driving!  The IL shower is next weekend and I will be just over 20 weeks.  (I am having twins though so I'm a little bigger than someone with a singleton at 20 weeks.)

I certainly wouldn't feel bad if they did not come to the other, it would be a bit of a trip for them anyway.  I planned on inviting MIL and SIL regardless; I'm waffling on all the aunts and cousins and cousins' wives.

wittyschaffy

Your guest lists shouldn't overlap with maybe the exception of your MIL if she wants to make the trip.  

megemoney

Estwd2:

No, guests should only be invited to one shower. Generally, the only exception to this is for grandmas-to-be.

wittyschaffy:

Your guest lists shouldn't overlap with maybe the exception of your MIL if she wants to make the trip.  

 

Thank you.  This is what I was wondering.

EastCoastBride

Honestly, stop thinking about the one as your "main" shower. You're having 2 showers. Therefore 2 different guest lists and as said, no, people should NOT be invited to more than one.  Especially as it would be 12 hours away. 

526SadieSadie

EastCoastBride:

Honestly, stop thinking about one as your "main" shower. You're having 2 showers.

1000% this.

I sincerely hope you haven't called it the "real" or "main" shower to MIL/SIL, that's really insulting. 

I think you'd be fine inviting MIL, SIL and DH's grandmothers to the shower your family is hosting but no one else.

FemShep

BrianaSimons:

I hope your not driving 12 hrs pregnant. YIKES!

Thats a hard one. If you do invite them.....they already had a shower for you and may not even come. If you dont and they actually wanted to come then they feel left out and regret giving you a shower........

I say go ahead and invite them. Better safe then sorry, but if they dont show up dont feel bad because they have already had their own shower for you and DH

 

No, please don't.

Except for the parents-to-be and the grandmas-to-be (and a few other possible, very special exceptions), guests should only be invited to one shower.  It's rude to ask them to purchase another baby gift for an event that's being held 12 hours away.

 Good luck to you, and enjoy your showers! 

megemoney

EastCoastBride:

Honestly, stop thinking about the one as your "main" shower. You're having 2 showers. Therefore 2 different guest lists and as said, no, people should NOT be invited to more than one.  Especially as it would be 12 hours away. 

It's 12 hours away from US.  The other one would not be 12 hours away from them.  

megemoney

526SadieSadie:

EastCoastBride:

Honestly, stop thinking about one as your "main" shower. You're having 2 showers.

1000% this.

I sincerely hope you haven't called it the "real" or "main" shower to MIL/SIL, that's really insulting. 

I think you'd be fine inviting MIL, SIL and DH's grandmothers to the shower your family is hosting but no one else.

You are right.  I have not even talked to them about the other shower.  I referred to it as that here for clarification because it was the first one that was in the planning state before they decided to throw another one together.  This one that is next weekend doesn't have a venue yet nor have invitations been sent out yet.  I guess I am still having a hard time thinking of it as a shower for me.  (I hate attention so the shower thing is hard for me to get used to.)  I feel like it is more of a family get together since it will include the guys as well.

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lily_721

I am having two showers.  One is hosted my mom/sister for my friends (I have a very small family) and MIL for DH's side.  The only cross-over is my mom, sister, and SIL.