please help! she won't sleep alone

gothiccandy42

My 6 week old won't sleep unless she is on me.  During the day I can get her to sleep in her swing for a half hour, maybe an hour if I turn on the white noise at the right moment.  At night it's a whole nother story.  I get 5 to 20 if I'm lucky.  I got to the point that I was so tired I couldn't breastfeed without nodding off and I worried I would suuffocate her.  I finally gave in and now we nap together with me propped up and her either in a sling or on the boppy.  Niether I nor her Daddy are comfortable with co-sleeping.  At least propped up I know she is there and not to roll over.  I feel like she is afraid of the dark...  Anyone else going through this?  What solutions have you come up with?  I'm more rested now, but someday I'd like to sleep horizontally, or maybe even spoon.....  Please help!

kerbear135

Do you swaddle? If not, it's possible that LO sleeps while being held because she feels secure- my LO will nap without a swaddle, but she will not go down at night without one. If you do swaddle, perhaps try a small night light and sit by the crib and rub her belly and sssh her until she goes to sleep. We also leave the white noise machine on at night, because our LO doesn't like complete silence any time of the day or night

sbevmc09

Honestly, this is pretty normal for newborns.  I would encourage you to do research on how to safely bedshare.  It's something that they outgrow, but when they're tiny like that some babies just need to be close to sleep :shrug:

Other things you can try if you're still not on board with bedsharing:

Swaddling (as PP mentioned)

Laying a shirt/blanket of yours down in their sleep space so it smells like you

Heating their sleep space with a warm water bottle/heating pad (just be sure that it doesn't get too warm!) before laying them down

It sounds like you're already trying other sleeping arrangements (meaning the swing, rather than just trying to put them in their crib) and white noise, so that's good.  

GL!  Like I said, if nothing else, this is something that they will outgrow, hopefully soon!

gothiccandy42

Yeah, she hated swaddling at 2 weeks.  I still try every now and again it worked just once.  I've tried her in the rock and play sleeper, the t-shirt and heating her bed.  I guess have to stick it out til she is old enough to cry it out....  I hate the thought but her Dad has insomnia that is aggravated by me not being in bed and I need to do something asap.  He uses *ahem* to fall asleep, which is impossible with her on me at midnight.  I am getting a Moby wrap soon. Then I can at least be in bed the whole night... Thanks for the input, tho!

Danni7535

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think sleeping while your baby is in a Moby sounds dangerous. I would be afraid that the baby could shift and be accidentally smothered by the Moby. Honestly, I think it would be safer to bed share. Dr. Sears' website explains how to safely bed share just mom and baby in bed, baby sleeping on back, no bedding around baby, etc..

Kingston54

I agree that the swaddling helps.  Do you have a bassinet?

gothiccandy42

The Moby is my last resort.  I have to do something and the sling has proven worse than a Moby.  I am looking for something more secure and the Moby I can position her head between the fabric.  I've thought a lot about it and I feel I am more likely to suffocate her if I fall asleep with her on the breast.  Having her right there as I fall asleep keeps me from falling to deeply asleep so when she moves I am wide awake.

The bed sharing isn't an option.  With her dads insomnia he crashes hard when he sleeps. I'm not much better.  I don't feel comfortable keeping her on the edge, either as we only have a full bed that the two of us already fight over.  The boppy has worked the best but as she moves more I worry more.  I can't send the father out of the bed, either.  He has 2 herniated discs in his back and works 5-6 10 hour days outside in the Maine winters and summers so I can stay at home.  Between that and the insomnia the bed is his lol.

gothiccandy42

No, just the rock and play.  She hates sleeping on her back anyway.  I tried the carseat as well, but unless it's moving in the car she isn't interested.  She wants to be moving if she isn't on me.

gothiccandy42

Thanks for being understanding.  I do relish every moment during the day.  It seems in the dark it's easier to get frustrated.  I'm preying you're right and when she starts sleeping for more than an hour at a time I will be able to put her down without cio.  In the meantime I do love waking up to have her right there.  And it's adorable that she will root and feed without ever opening her eyes.  I know I'm spoiling her it's nice to wake up to rooting instead of tears.

solemnlyswear

If movement helps her sleep I would recommend the Mamaroo, it is like a moving bouncer with all different kinds of settings. We saw them get used in the NICU while we were there. DSs neighbor was really fussy and had a hard time sleeping and they would put it on the car ride setting and he wouldsleep so well. They are a little pricey about$200 but you could look on ebay.