8 months...
Williamandshawnna
member
In a few hours it will be exactly 8 months since we said goodbye to our boys. This month is hitting me a bit harder than previous ones. I have done a lot of beating myself up lately over not seeing them, holding them, naming them or having pictures taken.
You ladies have been so amazing and supportive, reminding me that I did what was best for me in that moment. You're right, and I know that, I know I did what was best at the time. I know I can still name my sons. Thank you for being here for me through this rough time.
2.25.13 also marks 1 year since we transfered 2 perfect little embryos. I think this is what makes this month so much harder. As we start TTCAL the emotions are so different and so much the same. A year ago I was so naive, with no worries. Today, I worry about every little thing.
Loss and infertility SUCK. No other way to put it. This is just part of the road on our journey at this point. Another bump in the road. And I know that this TTCAL is only going to add even more bumps along the way.
Thank you ladies for "listening", I can't sleep and have a very long day and week ahead of me.
No real reason I guess to this post other than to get it all out. Thank you again.
-Shawnna
~~~all welcome~~~
Re: 8 months...
((HUGE HUGS)) to you sweetie. I am am so sorry that you are feeling so down. Today marks 11 months since I gave birth to my sweet angel and I too had an extremely hard weekend.
BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12
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TTC #3 since May 2012
BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13
BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14
No longer trying to conceive.
I am so sorry you are having a hard time right now. All I can offer is ((HUGS)).
We didn't name our baby either yet...sometimes I think about it, but I am just not in a place to do it right now either...so you are not alone in that.
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
Thank you ladies for the love and hugs. I needed them after the insane day at work. I just couldn't stop crying. It seems everytime I turn a corner and think I am doing a little bit better I get slapped in the face again.
Thank you for reminding me I am not alone on this journey.
-Shawnna