Terrible 2's + a newborn - will I survive?!

technigirl

So the last couple of weeks, and particularly this weekend, we've been having a rough time with DD.  She is 2 years and 3 months and seems to be in the throes of the terrible 2's.  A month ago she was a pretty happy, tantrum-free 2 year old.  Now, everything has to be a battle.  Some of it comes in the form of her practicing selective listening, or not listening at all, when we ask her to do something.  Then when we "manually guide" her to do it, there's a tantrum (sorry, but ignoring mom and dad is not an option in this household kiddo).  The worst is when she knows what the rules are and then purposely breaks them.  For example, lately she's been sticking her feet on the table from her high chair.  She knows this is not allowed.  In fact, when she does it she smiles and crows 'No feet on the table!"  Sigh.  I usually just push her chair away far enough so she can't reach the table with her feet, but COME ON.  When she was 18 months old and just learning the rules, it wasn't so bad when she'd throw a tantrum. We knew she didn't know any better.  But now...arrrrgh!

Now I have a new baby coming in 2 months, and if this is still going on, WTH am I going to do?  I feel like I can barely handle it emotionally and mentally now.  Add in a newborn and no sleep into the mix, and I feel like I might just go off the deep end.  I'm glad he's not here yet which gives us some time to get through this, but if it lasts until she's 3, we are seriously in trouble. 

Melissa

 

Abeille

That kind of behavior came in waves w/my DD. It would last for a week or 2 and then we'd have our sweet little girl back for a while.  Meal time behavior was one of our battles. If she didn't behave properly she had to leave the table, no exceptions. We'd give her period to cool down and ask her if she'd like to join us again. Sometimes her meal time behavior was bad b/c she wasn't that hungry in the first place.

Consistent displine has been key. Time outs were great for a lot of my friends, but didn't work well for us , so our DD gets a warning and then gets something taken away (toy, tv time, leave playground, etc). She also gets stickers, verbal praise for good behaviors like not running away from me in stores...another issue we've had.

Lay the ground work now, b/c it doesn't neccesarily get easier at 3. I know it's exhausting, pregnant or not. Stay strong!

stever

It's definitely tough. DS1 was an awesome 2 year old, but the 3's have been rough. DS2 was born a week after DS1's birthday, and it's been bumpy. Manageable, but bumpy. I've just tried to spend as much one-on-one time as I can with DS1 and to involve him in helping out with the baby. He's actually aan awesome big brother, he's just hitting the terrible 2's late.

kgs0505

Ah yes, my child has been doing this for awhile. Timeouts are what work. It took him a while to get it, but it's fairly effective. We give a warning, then count to 3, and if he doesn't stop he goes into the pnp for 2 minutes. We don't use it for anything else.

technigirl

Thanks ladies, good to know I'm not alone!  We do a lot of timeouts (and I mean a LOT lately), but they don't always work like they used to.  Now, she sometimes seems to like them!  :  Other times they work OK.  I think she's probably too young to understand the taking away of future privileges (like going to the park for example), but if there's something in the here and now I can take away, I'll do that.  I just feel so exhausted and like a terrible parent because some days it's like I'm doing nothing but disciplining her all day.  I do notice that this behavior does seem to wax and wane, so I'm hoping we've hit a peak and I'll get my sweet girl back for a couple of weeks soon.  Ugh!  I just don't know how I'm going to do it with a newborn tacked on to all of that, but I guess I will figure it out like everyone else does.  Thanks again!