Stranger Danger

74dragonfly

DD turned 4 in Jan.  Overnight she has gone from shy, cling to Mom to running off without a care in the world, talking to strangers.  Strangers like the waiter at a restaurant or people at a park.  Always with me there.  But I'm worried she will talk to someone without me or fooled by someone bad.  I haven't said much to her about strangers since she was shy but now I need too. Any good books to read to her or things to say? I don't want to scare her but I want her to know what to do.  And I plan to cover the private parts discussion too.  Thanks!

LoveEeyore

fredalina:

TRICKY PEOPLE!!!! "Don't talk to strangers" is bad advice. Much better to warn them about going away with strangers or anyone else without asking mom or dad. Grown ups NEVER need kids' help, not to find a puppy or help a hurt kitten or anything else. Those are TRICKS that's tricky people use to get kids to go away with them. If someone tries to get you to go away with them, you keep away from them, say no, and run away and tell someone safe. Safe people are mom and dad, teachers, police officers, or any mom with kids. If a tricky person grabs you, it is ok to hit, kick, bite, or hurt them to get away and you'll not get in trouble. Just get away.

I love the idea of teaching tricky people. 

 The don't talk to strangers doesn't work.  I absolutely expect them to make eye contact and respond when they are addressed.  I absolutely expect them to trust me when I leave them in the care of a stranger- ie teacher. 

I have always taught the kids to identify the "safe person" when we go anywhere.  In a restaurant, store, playground, mall, whatever.  My oldest, and now the twins are learning what to say in different types of emergency.  We talk about scenarios when we are out- like getting lost, if we're on a hike and mommy hurts herself, at the playground and get scared because they can't see me.

We make them go to the neighbors alone to "deliver a message"  )I can see them the whole time) and have told them if they ever need help or are told in an emergency to go get help, they have practice. 

I also think at this point, they need to know my cell#, their full names, our address, my full name, etc.

I prefer to set them up with the confident, positive and proactive way to handle situations. 

Emilia0101

Don't make to much of a deal about it IMO. My DD had a horrible stage of stranger danger/anxiety. The cashier at Target would talk to her she would scream. Finally after a year we outgrew that. I would put more emphasis on the safety of staying in a parents line of vision than on the aspect of strangers it can backfire on you.

KathrynMD

fredalina:

TRICKY PEOPLE!!!! "Don't talk to strangers" is bad advice. Much better to warn them about going away with strangers or anyone else without asking mom or dad. Grown ups NEVER need kids' help, not to find a puppy or help a hurt kitten or anything else. Those are TRICKS that's tricky people use to get kids to go away with them. If someone tries to get you to go away with them, you keep away from them, say no, and run away and tell someone safe. Safe people are mom and dad, teachers, police officers, or any mom with kids. If a tricky person grabs you, it is ok to hit, kick, bite, or hurt them to get away and you'll not get in trouble. Just get away.

I like the "tricky" people advice.

We talk about strangers and what to do - yell, run away, etc. and how to ask for help/who to ask for help if you need it, etc.

AmericanInOz

I read on here somewhere the idea of a 'secret word' and telling them they can only go away with someone if they know the word - I LOVE that idea

so stranger or family, if they don't know the word you don't go!!! (as if you were having a relative pick them up for school or something you'd tell them the word anyway