What to do while waiting? Q re d&c...

SoxFan777

This sucks.  I'm in the "waiting" phase... As in, doctor said to wait till Thursday and then possibly talk d&c... She wanted to be sure that I actually lost the baby, but I've had light bleeding for the 4 days since I was in the office (brown--sorry TMI) and slight cramping, so I'm quite sure.  I haven't had a HUGE amount of blood loss, though, so I'm not sure I lost the baby yet (as in, lost from my body... no hb on u/s, so I think he/she is gone).  I have no idea, really... I've never been through this.

What did you do while you were waiting?  Did you stay home?  Go to work like normal?  Is that risky?  Will it "hit me" hard?  I've been off since last wed by coincidence, but I'm scheduled to start back at work on Monday.  I feel ok to go, but also it feels strange to go when I'm waiting to miscarry. 

Also, are most d&c's done in hospital or doctors office?  Were you awake for it?  I'm pretty sure I'm going to opt for it if it's offered to me.  I can't sleep, I'm crying off and on, and I really just want to get the process over with. 

Thanks again for those who respond and responded to my other questions.  It's hard going through this alone.  We hadn't announced our pregnancy yet, which is actually harder in some ways... there are very few people to grieve with. 

Jska40

I just had a D and C yesterday. I couldn't bare the though of passing the fetus and having to throw it away or flush it. I also didn't want to wait and have heard the process is very painful. The night before my d an c I had horrible cramps, like period cramps on steroids. I thought I was going to pass it before I made it to my procedure but my doctor told me I would know if it did happen.

For the D and C, the procedure is done at a hospital and is actually considered a surgery. Waking up from anesthesia afterward was the hardest part for me, but the recovery is unbelievably quick. I had some cramping, but stopped bleeding completely and I am actually up cleaning today. I'm trying to stay busy and keep my mind off it, but everyone copes differently.

I'm sorry for your loss and having to wait. My doctor wanted me to do everything naturally and wait and I refused, you are allowed to do that!

AlwaysSunny08

I'm so sorry for your loss. I went in for an u/s because of some spotting and found that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. I was 8 weeks and the baby was still measuring 6. I had a d and c the next day. I didn't think I would be able to handle waiting and going through that at process at home.

As far as the d and c, the surgery was quick and easy and I didn't have any trouble coming out of the anesthesia. I didn't have any cramping and bled lightly for 6 days after. The physical recovery was easy but the emotional recovery was tough of course. hugs.

Denise91980

I am so sorry for your loss ((hugs)). I think it depends on what is best for you. I am currently on my 3rd loss, and after the first one, I had a d&c. I did not go to work until after the d&c because I was struggling too much emotionally. The second one was natural and I didn't go to work the day after I found out. This time, I went to work yesterday because I didn't see any use in staying home and bawling my eyes out. I cried a lot on the way there, and a little while there, but it did distract me a bit. Like PP mentioned, the recovery was pretty quick from the d&c, but I would give yourself another day to grieve if you need to.  T&P to you. 

SA1112

I'm very sorry for your loss. The waiting period is just awful. I did go to work while I was waiting to miscarry naturally with my first because I had no idea how long it could take and I couldn't miss that much work. It does feel strange to go on with your normal activities while something like this is happening to you. 

As for my D&C's, they were in an outpatient surgery center but they can also be done in a hospital. I was under general anesthesia, although you apparently can be awake for it but in my opinion that would be awful and I would just want to be knocked out. It was a quick procedure about 20 minutes and then I was in recovery for an hour or so.  

I hadn't announced my pregnancies to anyone other than my immediate family so I understand what you mean about feeling like you're grieving alone. I thought that was one of the hardest parts. I did end of telling some more people after the loss just so that they could understand what I was going through and it helped. Maybe you could look into a pregnancy loss support group IRL so that you could have some more people to talk to. I'm sorry you're going through this. ((hugs))

nikV1

I am so sorry for your loss. I am currently at the (what I hope ayway) end of a mc. It seems as though you have alot of the same questions that I did about a week ago when it started and thought that I would share my story.

 I started bleeding after a tournament I was playing in last Saturday and rushed home. I paged my OBGYN who told me to wait and see if it got worse before being nervous. I called back with cramping and blod clots and the dr. confirmed that it was a miscarraige without even looking at me and let me know that there wasn't much to do unless there was massive bleeding. So I scheduled am U.S for Monday and googled what was to come. It wasn't too bad at first, just a little cramping and fatigue and when I saw my Dr. on Monday, I learned that the baby stopped growing at 6.5 weeks. I was given three options, and said that I would have to go home and think about it.

I called out of work the next day, but figured that I could go back on Wednesday morning, even though my dr. said that I probably wouldn't want to. I started a natural miscarriage before making the choice and was in lots of pain for the next few days, and when I asked for the DandC, I was told that it was too late, as I started already on my own and given pills to induce it. I will spare you the details (because everyone's experience is differeny), but there was no way I could go to work for the rest of the week. I had no idea when the cramps were coming or and couldn't figure out what was a contraction until the end of the week. I also had clots, tissue and the sac (sorry TMI!!) come out on different days during random times.

I was encouraged by my boyfriend to call out for the week on Wednesday, even though I thought that I could 'tough it out' and I was so glad that I did, because like I said, physical symptoms alone would have made it impossible. But also, emotionally it is probably better to take some time off for yourself so you don't have to stress about more than what is going on with your body.

I did a little home cleaning, but mostly during the week, I slept, did homework, watched three entire seasons of Raising Hope and other movies and took quite a bit of (perscribed) pain meds, as I had almost constant cramping. I have to admit the waiting was the worst thing ever and if I wasn't so scared of the mc happening in public,  I would have tried to get out more.

I know that it is everyones personal decision, but doing this naturally did not help me cope or give me any more closure than a D and C. If (and I pray that it doesn't) this ever happens again to me, I will get the procedure in a heartbeat so I can move on faster and never go through this week again.

Again, I am so so sorry for your loss. Even when it is over, it is still so hard.

LizaC79

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I agree, the waiting is so hard . . . and it feels so strange to go on with normal life while waiting.

Not sure if this will be any use to you as every experience is different, but I found out about a missed m/c at 12 weeks, with only 9 weeks of growth, and my OB recommended a D&C.  But while I was waiting (5 days) for the procedure, I started bleeding and light cramping -- the cramping didn't get really bad until Wednesday night (2 days after it started) and by Thursday morning, there was no way I could have gone into work if I had an office job (I work from home).  It actually felt like the early part of labor at that point.   I cancelled my phone calls for the morning because I couldn't even sit still through the "cramps" (more like contractions), and I called my OB -- who said it could go on like that for weeks. She suggested I take some pain meds and still do the D&C as scheduled.  But then about 5 minutes after I got off the phone with her I passed everything.  Again, every experience is different, but I could tell in advance when it was getting bad -- and there was no way I could have done anything "normal" at all that morning. 

I was also really lucky that my mom was around to help with my son while I worked -- b/c there was a lot of heavy bleeding, and I wouldn't have wanted to be alone. 

So I guess if you start to sense it's getting bad -- my advice would be to NOT go into work, and to definitely make sure someone can be with you, if it's at all possible.  I agree with PP that if I had to go through this again I would absolutely choose the D and C. 

So sorry that you're going through this!  

Beezo23

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you have to be here with us. At what I thought was our 8wk appt, our baby was measuring 6w1d, but had a strong heartbeat. Two weeks later, there was no growth and no heartbeat. That was a Monday we heard the terrible news. I took that Tuesday off, worked Wednesday and Thursday. My d&c was Friday. I went back to work that Monday after my d&c. Physically, I was feeling ok.  I had no signs of miscarriage prior to that, so that is why I went to work. Also to stay busy and try to keep my mind off of things, but that didn't always work.

My d&c was done at the hospital. It was surgery- general anesthesia, recovery, etc. I had a friend who was awake for her d&c and she said it was pretty painful. I was nervous for being put under, but glad I was.

Remember to be kind to yourself and take all the time you need. I'm almost a month past d&c and I still have hard days. It is better than a few weeks ago, but I'm not 100% yet. Only you know how you're feeling.

Side note: are you from the Boston area? I noticed your screen name and had to ask. I lived in MA most of my life before moving to CA.  

dragonfly711

I had DnC yesterday in hospital under general anesthesia. Did not take long and I had the tissue tested for chromosome abnormalities. I found out no heartbeat on thurs DnC on Friday. I am fine today no cramping no spotting they say u could spot for a week or so. I feel fine just so emotional. I took next week off. I am so glad I did the DnC it is over and I don't have to worry about when it will happen naturally which can take a while.
I am so sorry I know what you are going through so hard.

jennamariebee

I'm so sorry for your loss. Like you, I received information that I was going to miscarry, but then was told to wait nearly a week for a secondary u/s to confirm. I got the initial bad news on a Friday, that Monday was a national holiday so I didn't have to work. I went into work on that Tuesday, while just WAITING to find out if things were over, and i was a wreck. People at work could tell something was wrong and I don't know if I got anything accomplished. I "worked from home" the following day and then didn't go in the day of the u/s.

For me? I wish I would have stayed home. I didn't have a mind to work with. (However, dwindling PTO sent me in, more than anything.)

Do what you feel like you need to do. I thought I could work, but really, I couldn't...but I didn't know until I tried.

sparks3march

hi i am awaiting as well. it is confusing. its strange how some women bleed right after and i am waiting its been four long days of wondering. i took the week off from work and i want it over and done with. its already horible. its worse with no bleeding as the doctor says and i wouldnt like to no i was misdiagnosed thats jus horible.

i am not considering the D and C but thats just my personal choice. i cant bear another probe and your under the anaesthesia ( did i spell that right).