What is trying too hard?

emikat

I was reading a few posts and sometimes it comes up that a name seems like someone is "trying too hard." What exactly does that mean? I remember last year I posted some name lists before I lost my angel baby, and a couple of people said that about some of the names I was considering. I haven't seen those comments on my names this time around, even though most of them aren't what a lot of people like. To me, it seems strange to say one is trying too hard, when really, it's just a name that someone likes. Curious about thought on this and how you think it would affect a child other than maybe a side eye?

 

ETA: Grammar correction 

5LittleBears

I am curious about this as well. I always find it an odd statement. The only, ONLY time I understand it is if somebody wants all K names so starts reaching for names that don't even begin with K. That may be trying too hard. But when it's just about a name, I don't understand. People just like the sound of certain names.

526SadieSadie

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I think "trying too hard" is randomly changing letters in a name to make it stand out - for instance, the Y trend and the K instead of C trend.  Making an effort to have a sorta common name but changing the spelling around just for the hell of it.

Zimger

I don't care much for that particular statement.

I have found that sometimes people mean that the name is too out there for them.

I think it gets used in a similar way as NMS. It seems like a vague statement to me.

I think the statement makes since in the example used above. If a parent is trying for the same amount of letters in a name or wants all of their children names to start with the same letter, ect. Sometimes I think people toss aside names they really like in order to acheive one of these scenarios. In my opinion that would be trying to hard.

526SadieSadie

Idani:

526SadieSadie:

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I think "trying too hard" is randomly changing letters in a name to make it stand out - for instance, the Y trend and the K instead of C trend.  Making an effort to have a sorta common name but changing the spelling around just for the hell of it.

Agree with these plus I will add to it.  Also let's say a name like Cash Danger.  It's like they are really trying to make their kids name sound cool or if by using this name they automatically have a superstar. 

I agree, celebrity baby names often fall into this category - Pilot Inspektor and Fifi Trixiebell and the like (honestly, did Inspektor need to have that k, Inspector spelled properly wasn't different enough???)

plunderb

I sometimes think this when people seem to be stretching for something clever, like using Danger as a mn. It's overdone and not half as clever as they think.

Or when someone feigns surprise that the name they've chosen is pretentious or obscure. As in, "Well I'm just so shocked that no one knows how to pronounce this jumble of letters. It was a very common name in medieval Wales!"

Zimger

526SadieSadie:

Idani:

526SadieSadie:

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I think "trying too hard" is randomly changing letters in a name to make it stand out - for instance, the Y trend and the K instead of C trend.  Making an effort to have a sorta common name but changing the spelling around just for the hell of it.

Agree with these plus I will add to it.  Also let's say a name like Cash Danger.  It's like they are really trying to make their kids name sound cool or if by using this name they automatically have a superstar. 

I agree, celebrity baby names often fall into this category - Pilot Inspektor and Fifi Trixiebell and the like (honestly, did Inspektor need to have that k, Inspector spelled properly wasn't different enough???)

Intersting...I tend to think of these names as just ridiculous. I always feel that the parents were not trying with these.

5LittleBears

526SadieSadie:

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I think "trying too hard" is randomly changing letters in a name to make it stand out - for instance, the Y trend and the K instead of C trend.  Making an effort to have a sorta common name but changing the spelling around just for the hell of it.

 

Not to call you out or anything and I could be wrong, but on my latest post about my cousin's baby names I think you said something along the lines of the name Lilac is trying too hard. Or trying to be different. Or something like that. That was one of the times that I didn't really understand the statement. I know that it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea and I understand not liking it but I don't understand how it's 'trying' to be unique. She just simply fell in love with the name. Again, not even 100% it was you (too lazy to go check) and not trying to be rude by any means... just curious as to what deemed it trying too hard to you. 

bsinno

plunderb:

"Well I'm just so shocked that no one knows how to pronounce this jumble of letters. It was a very common name in medieval Wales!"

 

hahahahaha! agree with the above. misplaced K's and Y's. or names like Ivy-Rose Rainbow or Skip Rivers.  

brooksidebride

I don't care too much for this statement/phrase either in that it doesn't give any real opinion or constructive criticism. Though, I think I understand the point people are often making when they use it... It's just their way of saying that the name feels forced, that the person seems to be going above and beyond in trying to make the name different or unique when the more traditional version or spelling of the name would work just fine.

526SadieSadie

5LittleBears:

526SadieSadie:

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I think "trying too hard" is randomly changing letters in a name to make it stand out - for instance, the Y trend and the K instead of C trend.  Making an effort to have a sorta common name but changing the spelling around just for the hell of it.

 

 

Not to call you out or anything and I could be wrong, but on my latest post about my cousin's baby names I think you said something along the lines of the name Lilac is trying too hard. Or trying to be different. Or something like that. That was one of the times that I didn't really understand the statement. I know that it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea and I understand not liking it but I don't understand how it's 'trying' to be unique. She just simply fell in love with the name. Again, not even 100% it was you (too lazy to go check) and not trying to be rude by any means... just curious as to what deemed it trying too hard to you. 

No offense taken and I will happily defend my statement -

In that instance, I think using lilac as a name is trying too hard to use a nature or flower name but in all honesty, I'm not a big fan of that trend anyway - with the exception of two GP names, River and Willow.

Nature names, or more specifically flower names like Rose and Daisy are more common but when I hear someone used lilac, I think they must either REALLY like lilacs or they're trying too hard to find an unusual nature name.

I don't remember the other names you mentioned in that post, but I seem to recall they were pretty (for lack of a better word) normal.  If someone likes unusual names, that's their thing but when there are three "normal" names and one "not normal" name...yeah, I think it's trying too hard.

guilletskichuk

Idani:

526SadieSadie:

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I think "trying too hard" is randomly changing letters in a name to make it stand out - for instance, the Y trend and the K instead of C trend.  Making an effort to have a sorta common name but changing the spelling around just for the hell of it.

Agree with these plus I will add to it.  Also let's say a name like Cash Danger.  It's like they are really trying to make their kids name sound cool or if by using this name they automatically have a superstar. 

I'm guilty of saying this...and it's because of this ^^. I don't mean anything by the spelling but rather that the parents are trying to hard to make their kid sound cool by giving them this kind of name.

Helenahhandbasket

First I want to say that I am sorry for your loss. 

When I personally say "trying too hard", I mean that the parents to be compile a list of names that they think other people will think are cool.  Like, you are picking a name that you hope will get a specific reaction from people, not because you truly love it. 

Ex-- Naming your kid something like Rocket.  You name your kid Rocket, you are probably going to get people that say "Wow, what a cool and different name.  How creative!  How did you ever manage to come up with that!?"

Other people might have different definitions of "trying to hard" but this is mine-- picking a name that sounds like you want a specific reaction from people.

 

Editing to add that I personally don't equate unusual names to "trying to hard" names.  

Unusual: Esmeralda, Winifred, Ophelia

Trying too hard: Diesel, Cannon, Londyn

TheWop

When someone is looking for something overly different for the sake of being different.  "McGuiver Pocketknife.  Wouldn't it just be SO cool? It's so different, we love it!"  KWIM?  That's what trying to hard means to me.

gutsymama

Helenahhandbasket:

First I want to say that I am sorry for your loss. 

When I personally say "trying too hard", I mean that the parents to be compile a list of names that they think other people will think are cool.  Like, you are picking a name that you hope will get a specific reaction from people, not because you truly love it. 

Ex-- Naming your kid something like Rocket.  You name your kid Rocket, you are probably going to get people that say "Wow, what a cool and different name.  How creative!  How did you ever manage to come up with that!?"

Or, this means you let your nephews name your baby - Rocket (b) and Skye Rocket (g) are both on their list for my 4th of July baby, along with Liberty, Tinsel, and Santa (they made the list at Christmas). Also, Mitch. My youngest nephew really likes Mitch. 

OP, I agree with pps who have defined "trying too hard" as trying to make your kid sound cool and different to the point that the name sounds forced, whether that's through spelling or name choice. 

plunderb

TheWop:

When someone is looking for something overly different for the sake of being different.  "McGuiver Pocketknife.  Wouldn't it just be SO cool? It's so different, we love it!"  KWIM?  That's what trying to hard means to me.

plunderb

TheWop:

When someone is looking for something overly different for the sake of being different.  "McGuiver Pocketknife.  Wouldn't it just be SO cool? It's so different, we love it!"  KWIM?  That's what trying to hard means to me.

See, for example, the post on "Phyer" a few rows up.

emikat

Thanks guys!  

magsugar13

plunderb:

TheWop:

When someone is looking for something overly different for the sake of being different.  "McGuiver Pocketknife.  Wouldn't it just be SO cool? It's so different, we love it!"  KWIM?  That's what trying to hard means to me.

I agree

and i dont think there is anything wrong with the statement,,,when it is obviously true. People sometimes try so hard to be uneek that the phrase works.

GrayGhost13

I usually interpret it as the name being too "out there" for someone else's taste. My taste tends to run toward the different naturally, so the names I tend to just love are ones that people sometimes tag as "trying too hard." It doesn't really bother me. One of the things I like about looking at baby names is how they reflect the diversity of people around me.

I do believe most people actually choose a name for the right reasons (because they love the sound or feel of it and/or it holds personal meaning for them) and not just to impress others in a superficial way. But if the name strikes someone as overly unusual, sometimes people don't understand why the parents would like the name and so they assume the person chose it just to be overly hip or pretentious.

I really think this is one of those things you can consider but it ultimately shouldn't be the deciding factor. Life is long and you should choose a name you and your SO love.

caramia582

When I think of a name that's trying to hard, I think of someone trying to pick the next obscure "It" name and they just end up coming up with something silly or weird.  

caramia582

Helenahhandbasket:

First I want to say that I am sorry for your loss. 

When I personally say "trying too hard", I mean that the parents to be compile a list of names that they think other people will think are cool.  Like, you are picking a name that you hope will get a specific reaction from people, not because you truly love it. 

Ex-- Naming your kid something like Rocket.  You name your kid Rocket, you are probably going to get people that say "Wow, what a cool and different name.  How creative!  How did you ever manage to come up with that!?"

Other people might have different definitions of "trying to hard" but this is mine-- picking a name that sounds like you want a specific reaction from people.

 

Editing to add that I personally don't equate unusual names to "trying to hard" names.  

Unusual: Esmeralda, Winifred, Ophelia

Trying too hard: Diesel, Cannon, Londyn

Yup, i agree with this.