Pregnant after 35

Anyone else having issues with their OB?

Intro - I barely post but I am having issues with my OB - or maybe I am just hormonal.  I am 42 having my second baby in six weeks - I am 34 weeks 2 days.  I have a son who just turned 4.

So, I am bothered by the fact that all my doctor does is listen for the heartbeat and then talks current events and leaves.  She doesn't ask me questions, doesn't ask if I have any concerns.  It seems when I ask her a question when she is talking about watching the oscars this weekend that I am interrupting her.  I was OK in the begining - but now I am at the end.  I want some dialogue about what to look for, symptoms, etc.  And, when I have brought up recent issues she just says - can't do anything for you really - just tough it out.  I feel there is a lack of communication and all I can do is keep asking questions and interrupting her - but does anyone else feel that their doctor doesn't care about them at all? 

I can't change doctors now and I am sure I am just whinning a little - but does anyone else experience this?  I dread the fact she is going to be the one to deliver my baby.  My other baby was delivered by a wonderful doctor but she left the practice six months after my son was born to work directly for a hospital as an on-call OB because she wanted more set hours.  I was so bummed I couldn't have her again, but after doing extensive research, thought this new OB would be good. 

Re: Anyone else having issues with their OB?

  • If the OB is behaving this way now, good heavens, what is she going to do at the delivery? It is not too late to change if you are uncomfortable. I left my OB and switched to a midwife at 27 weeks, and I am so glad I did.

    Your choices are basically a) switch doctors (yes, you can, it is not too late) or b) tell the OB flat out that you are unhappy with what you feel is a lack of dialogue and her lack of interest in hearing about how you are doing and what you are experiencing. Neither of those alternatives are pleasant or easy, but if you do nothing, you are going to be in the lithotomy position pushing while she drones on about finishing her taxes or something. That doesn't sound too great either. If it were me, I'd try for b) and switch providers if there was not an immediate change in her behavior.

    Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
  • It sounds like you had some red flags from the beginning. If you are truly concerned about delivery, I'd do like danuli8 said...have a very direct discussion w/her or switch now. 

    I had a great OB/gyn who I'd been seeing for several years,  but she took a hospitalist position. I found a new one by asking my friends who they see and researching the hospitals each one delivered at and found another great OB. 

    Me: 38, PCOS/ DH: 37

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  • I changed from my OB practice to a Midwife group when I was 37 weeks pregnant.  It was a mad rush to get my file from the old practice and get in to see the new one, but I'm so glad I did.  I went into labor at 39 weeks, so I'd only had 2 appointments with the new group before delivering.  Didn't even know the midwife who ended up delivering, but I am still certain it was a far better experience than if I had stayed with the OB that I no longer trusted.

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  • I left my OB in my first tri because of red flags. I ended up with a homebirth midwife. I know many women who switched to a different OB or midwife in the third tri, including week 41. It's never too late.
  • Thanks for the support on switching docs. My hubby and I are talking it over and it is so good to hear other women have done it. 
  • I am SUPER picky about my doctors and if I were you would for sure try to switch as soon as possible if you are not happy.  However, my OB was a little stand-offish with me at first and I wasn't going to see her again after my last miscarriage.  Then I found myself pregnant again shortly after and gave her another chance after talking with one of the receptionists in her office.  The difference in her now is amazing.  I love her and she's done a great job working with my perinatologists and keeping tabs on all my other health issues during this pregnancy. 

    Good luck in your decision.  I hope it all works out for you. 

  • I think you need to be proactive about your health and your baby. She doesn't ASK you if you have questions? So you ask them anyway. If you are unhappy - switch. Definitely not too late.


    I switched early in my last pg and could not be happier I did. I am actually close with my OB desicion I ever made. 



    Olivia and Matilda, 09/10/201 - Graham, 10/01/2013

  • I agree, if you are concerned, switch.  It's never too late.

     I have an awful OB with my last pregnancy (he's 5 now).  I only continued going there because I mainly saw the PA, who was awesome and I loved her! I rarely saw the actual OB.  But on delivery day, the OB was a ***!!! She was arguing with the nurses if i was truly at a 10 or not and was downright rude to the amazing nurses.  I was in shocked by her attitude.  Then as my son was born, he scratched me and I was bleeding out- my OB flipped out and was running in the halls looking for help since she couldn't stop it.  She didn't hide her panic which freaked me out.  It was terrible.  Don't be like me and end up with some horrible OB in there!!!!

    I immediately switched after that.  I now LOVE my OB.  She even has twins and is my age which is great, since I am expecting twins.  She's been there, done that and really makes me feel at ease.  Of course I am seeing a MFM too, which I see for the first time in 2 weeks, hopefully she is just as great.  

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Michelle- 39, DH 41 Mom to 5yo boy (IVF) Latest pregnancy- IVF #1- ER- 11/30 ET- 3 day, 12/3- 3 8 cell embies Beta- 14dpo- 488 Beta- 18dpo- 2500 7 week U/S 1/4- TWINS! EDD 8/21/13
  • That is the opposite of what i would want form my OB... mine listens and makes sure you are fine and sympathizes (as well as a male can LOL- but he does a great job at it). He'll joke around but only if he senses he has answered your questions and you're joking too.

    Yup, switch. 



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