- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Multiples
JocelynB0911
member
What to say when..
JocelynB0911
member
in Multiples
People ask if twins run in your family?
My aunt had a set (one passed away as they were born at 24 weeks) but she also did IVF and was impanted with 6 eggs at once, so really she could've had one baby or 6 if they all stuck. So IMO, no it doesnt run in the family.
Thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: What to say when..
When they ask, most times they are being nosy trying to find out if your multiples were "natural" or the result of an IF treatment... personally I find strangers who ask to be somewhat rude unless I can tell they genuinely aren't fishing...
I just say yes but not my immediate family... my mom's mother's cousin had fraternal twins, which doesn't really qualify for the genetic impact but I am not lying, it is a quick one word answer, and they don't get to be in my personal/medical business as it really isn't any of their business.
Fantastic! Care to prep me on the weird questions?!
I'm 13w1d with twins from IVF. When people ask me if twins run in my family my canned response has become "No, they typically begin by crawling and then walking." That's my way of saying MYOB!
ETA: The irony is that my dad has twin brothers (natural) and on my moms side I have first cousins who are twins (thanks to clomid)
Unmedicated and medicated IUI's: all fail
IVF #1: Dec 2012 16m/15f 12/9: 5dt of 2 beautiful blasts and 5 frosties
TWINS!
15w4d:baby a-pProm
March 25: 18w...2 baby boys born sleeping
July 29: FET-BFN
Sept: TAC placed
Oct 27: FET #2-Cancelled-monster cyst producing insane amounts of estrogen
Nov 13: FET #2-take 2
Sometimes I definitely think the "do they run in your family?" question is fishing for fertility treatment information, but a lot of times I think people are genuinely curious because they find twins fascinating. Before I was pregnant with twins, I would always ask this question of MoMs because my grandmother had triplets and I was genuinely curious if these other MoMs had multiples in their families. I try to remember this when I'm answering the question for the hundredth time and feel like my fertility habits are being judged
Honestly, though, all this "running in the family" vs. fertility treatments stuff has so little bearing on one's "ability" to have multiples. Even if you have multiples in your family, there's still the question of fraternal vs. identical (with identical being a complete crap shoot), and whether your family members had fertility treatments, etc. etc. Even if you have fraternal multiples in your immediate family, that only increases your chances somewhat. We're all blessed to have our little ones, regardless of how they came to be
TTC #1 since May 2010. BFP #1 - 5/31/10; m/c on 7/22/10
Started seeing RE in August 2011
5 IUIs: BFN; IVF #1 - Success! BFP - 7/25/12
I say yes, because technically they do, although these two are IVF twins. I have also said, that they do now.
I've also had people ask me how they were conceived!
Peanut Butter and Jelly!
<a href="http://s568.photobucket.com/albums/ss122/AliceNP/?action=view
THANK YOU!! This is what I was figuring and just needed some clarification.
This. Before people ask if they run in our family, some people are also quick to say, "My mom's a twin" or "My cousins on both sides have twins, so I thought we might have twins..." that I really think they often genuinely wonder if that's our situation, too. Maybe I'm naive, but so far, I haven't felt like people are digging for fertility information.
i love this response. I usually just say, "They do now!"
Watch this video. It is hilarious because it is true! I have been asked I think all of these questions!!!
https://youtu.be/tT-lgB_HGEE
Videos of telling my family and husbands family that we are preggo...with twins!
OMG! Love it, this is almost a daily occurrence for me...
i'd answer "they do now". whether or not they do is none of their business.
Im half dying right now! I already get those questions with my 3 and almost 2 year old. Someone once asked if my other kid was "white" when I was out with my son. I was in shock and I told her no, she was a llama.
I agree, I think most ppl are just fascinated and curious when it comes to twins and multiples
I'm not sure how I should respond. Fraternal twins DO run in my family (my maternal aunts are fraternal twins and my paternal cousin has fraternal twins). They also run in DHs family (which I know doesn't matter in terms of genetics). However, I was on 25mg of Clomid when I conceived, so I'm def. misleading folks if I'm honestly answering "yes."
Then again, this was my 4th cycle on 25 mg Clomid and the three previous cycles only resulted in 1 egg being released, per u/s. So I still like to think this was "natural"
All of our children are natural too. I prefer unassisted, or conceived conventionally, or some other non-insulting wording. I'm sure you weren't meaning to be out of line with your wording, so please don't take me that way, I'm just pointing out that people toss around "natural" and it's not the most politically correct way of speaking.
Fraternal twins do run in my family as well. However, my twins were conceived with IVF. The fact that they are identical means that one of our embryos stuck and split. They would be natural no matter how they were created - fraternal, ID, with meds, with no meds, with months of struggle or a one night stand.
1st & Only BFP: 1st IVF w/ ICSI, 3dt of 2 7-cell, grade 2 embryos on 8/25/12
Beta #1 9/5: 87.2 BFP! - Beta #2 9/7: 248 - 1st US @ 6w3d Two Heartbeats! - MoDi Girls!
SERIOUSLY not trying to be snarky, I love everyone.
1st & Only BFP: 1st IVF w/ ICSI, 3dt of 2 7-cell, grade 2 embryos on 8/25/12
Beta #1 9/5: 87.2 BFP! - Beta #2 9/7: 248 - 1st US @ 6w3d Two Heartbeats! - MoDi Girls!
oh yes that video is SO true!! Sorry I didn't get back for a bit, some of the stranger conversations I've had:
-99% of people's opening line is "twins?" ......ummmm, yes? I do believe they are!
-Random guy at the mall: "so when they were born did you have them errrm, naturally??" ...if you're asking me if I pushed them out of my vagina, yes
-Worker at babies r us registry table when i was pregnant "Did you have help?" Uhhh my husband DEFINITELY helped...
There are a million crazy comments and I don't think most people are intentionally rude but sometimes I wonder if they are embarrassed when they realize how dumb they sounded.
My mom is an ID twin and my H's father is also an ID twin so I do usually answer the runs in the family question honestly with a yes and that seems to satisfy people.
You do get used to the attention though. My H and I went to coffee alone the other day and I told him it felt super weird not to be stared at and asked questions by strangers!
My DD says "they do now!" if someone asks and she's around. I usually say, why do you ask? If they say they're curious or seem to just be chatty I don't mind saying no, it was a nice surprise. (it was an IUI but still it's always a surprise!). If they say they are dealing with IF or something I don't mind answering more. I don't get the question as often now that they are born though.
However, my grandmother has some dementia and always says "twins don't run in our family, you're the first, how do you think that happened?" The first time she asked DH got in a panic and pretty much ran out of the room, he thought she was asking about fertility treatments but she totally wasn't. She asks us the same question about 5 x each visit.