Any stories of "sticking it" to the OB?

A37licia

Do you all have any stories of your births where you were able to stand up for yourself against something the OB wanted to do or tried to scare you into doing? Reading the post on cord clamping got me thinking about that.

ldpm

For myself, the only thing I know of was that my support team was clear that I did not want the epidural so when the anesthesiologist tried to come in to talk to me, he was kept out. I never knew he was at the door. He said he had to speak to me personally, but my girl's father told him no and that if I told my team.I wanted drugs they would be sure to page him.

As a doula, I rarely see a mom in labor successfully fight her OBs recommendations. I usually ask them to look for signs that their doc won't be so accomodating, like repeating non evidence based information. Laboring moms need to be in their primitive, nonthinking brain and that makes mom easy to convince they have to do something. If you try to be fully thinking and aware, you will block endorphin release. If you are unsure about your doc, either prepare to be okay with what might happen or find a new provider.

wifeofadam

There is a great birth story on the Birth Without Fear blog that I read yesterday in which the mom is laboring in the shower and she is ready to push.  The nurses and OB tell her she has to move to the bed and she said there is no way she was going to move, so the OB ended up having to lie down on the floor to deliver the baby.  It was pretty cool to read about how a mom got to push in the way she felt comfortable.

 https://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2013/02/19/lady-im-not-moving-having-our-baby-our-way/

bornmommy

I had a super supportive team but I realized I was not afraid to do what I wanted when I was in labor.  It was very empowering.  I gave myself numerous pep talks and my DH was right there with me.  My midwife knew I wouldn't back down from what I wanted to happen, also.  She didn't pressure me at all and didn't even "make" me get back on the monitor like the hospital says you are supposed to do although, she pretty much knew she couldn't make me do anything.  Empower yourself and in the moment, as long as you and the baby are not at risk, you'd be surprised what you and capable of!   

aylafsu88

bornmommy:

I had a super supportive team but I realized I was not afraid to do what I wanted when I was in labor.  It was very empowering.  I gave myself numerous pep talks and my DH was right there with me.  My midwife knew I wouldn't back down from what I wanted to happen, also.  She didn't pressure me at all and didn't even "make" me get back on the monitor like the hospital says you are supposed to do although, she pretty much knew she couldn't make me do anything.  Empower yourself and in the moment, as long as you and the baby are not at risk, you'd be surprised what you and capable of!   

I agree with this.  I made sure I had a wonderful office where all of the OBs were supportive of natural births.  The OB never pushed continuous fetal monitoring or a Hep lock so I never had to stick it to them.   I would have if I needed to though. 

nosoup4u

bornmommy:

I had a super supportive team but I realized I was not afraid to do what I wanted when I was in labor.  It was very empowering.  I gave myself numerous pep talks and my DH was right there with me.  My midwife knew I wouldn't back down from what I wanted to happen, also.  She didn't pressure me at all and didn't even "make" me get back on the monitor like the hospital says you are supposed to do although, she pretty much knew she couldn't make me do anything.  Empower yourself and in the moment, as long as you and the baby are not at risk, you'd be surprised what you and capable of!   

Honestly, I think this is bad advice.

Not every woman is going to be "ready for a fight" while she's in labor, and if you're going to someone where you think you will have to fight to get what you want, you need to find a new provider.

kaleb87

My doctor and support team were great during my delivery. My biggest fear was tearing and my doctor did everything he could to help prevent me from tearing. However, it wasn't enough. I ended up with third degree tears both internally and externally. Instantly my doctor insisted, "we have to take you into surgery." I don't know if it was the adrenaline or what but I refused. I had yet to see my daughter, who was perfectly healthy, and I knew how important skin to skin was, and letting her immediately try to nurse. So the doctor reluctantly agreed, and called in a resident and it took the two of them an hour and a half to stitch me up. However, I'm not going to lie and say it didn't hurt, but I didn't give in. This was my situation, and every situation is different. If they hadn't got my bleeding under control, or told me I was at risk I wouldn't have fought it.

bornmommy

nosoup4u:

bornmommy:

I had a super supportive team but I realized I was not afraid to do what I wanted when I was in labor.  It was very empowering.  I gave myself numerous pep talks and my DH was right there with me.  My midwife knew I wouldn't back down from what I wanted to happen, also.  She didn't pressure me at all and didn't even "make" me get back on the monitor like the hospital says you are supposed to do although, she pretty much knew she couldn't make me do anything.  Empower yourself and in the moment, as long as you and the baby are not at risk, you'd be surprised what you and capable of!   

Honestly, I think this is bad advice.

Not every woman is going to be "ready for a fight" while she's in labor, and if you're going to someone where you think you will have to fight to get what you want, you need to find a new provider.

Maybe I was not clear.  I wasn't saying to "be ready for a fight."  What I meant to say was to be educated and empower yourself so that if the unforseen happens, which does in labor, you have the inner power and education to back yourself up.  This is also where your labor coach can help you if you are feeling overwhelmed. 

I totally agree that if you think you are not going to be supported, you should seek out another provider but sometimes OBs  say one thing and then do another.      

margeincharge3

I don't think this is exactly what you are looking for but for my vbac towards the end of my pregnancy I got a lot of big baby/shoulder dystocia talk. My OB practice was very pro-vbac until my baby started measuring big. Then depending on which doctor I would see, I would get a different scary story about horrible shoulder dystocia incidents. I did the research, consented to growth u/s's, and consented to doing another GD to make sure I really didn't have GD. But I was insistent on having a tolac.

At my last u/s, my baby was estimated at 9 lbs, 3 oz. My hospital has a practice of recommending c/s for any baby over 9 1/2 lbs. I kept seeing the more vbac friendly doctor in my practice and he didn't pressure me in the way that the others did. I also met with the head of the entire practice where she outlined all the shoulder dystocia risks and I reiterated my desire to at least have a tolac even with a suspected big baby.

My water broke at 38 weeks, 6 days. My OB practice was very supportive of my vbac attempt even though they would have recommended a c/s. They used the foley bulb and pit to get my labor going. I got to the pushing stage and my OB told me they weren't going to let me push for long because I was vbac, because I had labored 24 hours with my water broken, and because the baby was suspected to be large. I asked how long they would give me and they said about an hour. I pushed out my baby in 30 minutes. He was a big guy. 9 lbs, 11 oz and 21 3/4 inches long. But he came out with no difficulty whatsoever.

So while I did indeed have a big baby, I advocated for myself and was able to have my vbac. I consider it a success story for everyone. All the OB's (even one very pessimistic doctor) came to congratulate me. I think they were all surprised.

catsinawindow

nosoup4u:

bornmommy:

I had a super supportive team but I realized I was not afraid to do what I wanted when I was in labor.  It was very empowering.  I gave myself numerous pep talks and my DH was right there with me.  My midwife knew I wouldn't back down from what I wanted to happen, also.  She didn't pressure me at all and didn't even "make" me get back on the monitor like the hospital says you are supposed to do although, she pretty much knew she couldn't make me do anything.  Empower yourself and in the moment, as long as you and the baby are not at risk, you'd be surprised what you and capable of!   

Honestly, I think this is bad advice.

Not every woman is going to be "ready for a fight" while she's in labor, and if you're going to someone where you think you will have to fight to get what you want, you need to find a new provider.

I agree, I don't think this is good advice for every mama. Some moms stay able to advocate for themselves during labor. Some don't. Some don't want to. In labor I became a very compliant patient.  I was very informed and still consented to things that, in hindsight, I know I should have fought while in labor.  That's why I'll (hopefully) be delivering with a midwife at a birth center for the next LO.  I don't want to have to fight during my next labor.

pinkiemo

lisagde:

nosoup4u:

bornmommy:

I had a super supportive team but I realized I was not afraid to do what I wanted when I was in labor.  It was very empowering.  I gave myself numerous pep talks and my DH was right there with me.  My midwife knew I wouldn't back down from what I wanted to happen, also.  She didn't pressure me at all and didn't even "make" me get back on the monitor like the hospital says you are supposed to do although, she pretty much knew she couldn't make me do anything.  Empower yourself and in the moment, as long as you and the baby are not at risk, you'd be surprised what you and capable of!   

Honestly, I think this is bad advice.

Not every woman is going to be "ready for a fight" while she's in labor, and if you're going to someone where you think you will have to fight to get what you want, you need to find a new provider.

I agree, I don't think this is good advice for every mama. Some moms stay able to advocate for themselves during labor. Some don't. Some don't want to. In labor I became a very compliant patient.  I was very informed and still consented to things that, in hindsight, I know I should have fought while in labor.  That's why I'll (hopefully) be delivering with a midwife at a birth center for the next LO.  I don't want to have to fight during my next labor.

i have to agree too.  I was going natural but after 5 hours in transition they asked me to get an epi so they could try to manipulate the baby (I wouldn't lie down for them). I was so tired and not in my normal state of mind that I agreed easily and didn't even notice until later that they had sent a resident in to do it!  She did it wrong the first time and had to redo it.  Never again. 

A37licia

Thanks for the stories. I love hearing about women who are informed and interested in finding things out and seeking good options (like the VBACer above). I'm a homebirther, and am actually relieved I am not in an environment to have to push back a lot! I know how vulnerable I am at the height of labor! Of course, there are some awesome hospitals out there, not wanting to stereotype all OBs. 

tantdylf

I fought my OB every step of the way. After 20 hours of labor, a nurse checked and told me I was a 10 she could feel the head. OB was paged and I was refusing to push because my body wasnt ready and she forced a check. She then announced that I was "only a 4" started saying "failure to progress" and was recommending a csection.

I told her to get out of my room and I just had my supportive nurse with me who told me over and over not to let her bully me into a csection and then her shift was over.

In order not to have a csection, I agreed to an epidural. Because I did, the OB left, announcing on her way out that I would not be ready for another 68 hours at least and not to call her right away because I was a FTM and it would take me hours to push.

So she left and I let them know my epidural wasnt working. They ignored me repeatedly and finally it was so intense that I had to just labor again. I told them i felt pressure in my vagina and that it felt like what i could only imagine as dilating. No, they told me, thats not what youre feeling. My husband fell asleep and my mom stayed up watching me.

Finally the epi pump just flat out shut off and a nurse came in to stop the beeping and looked at me grunting and moaning and asked my mom how long I had been doing this.

She checked me and I was a 10 1 station. This was only a short time after my OB left. They called her and she refused to come in unless another nurse checked me. 10 3 a minute later.

I pushed my baby out in 2 or 3 pushes and before that rechid OB made it back!!! Vindicated!

jennyelf

I didn't have to stand up to my OB or labor nurse as both were very supportive of my plans for intervention free birth. We didn't get delayed cord clamping, but there was meconium, so that was a known complication that would preclude some of our wishes. I feel that if you have a choice in doctor / hospital, it might be worth looking into finding another doctor / hospital. I was pretty in the zone by the time I was admitted and I don't know if I would have had the presence of mind to disagree with anything that was suggested. My husband and doula knew my wishes and most likely would have helped, but I'm glad that they were able to focus all their energy on helping me deliver LO rather than fighting with the staff.

 

greengirl0909

At my 39 week appointment, my doc said, yikes I think this baby is big, we better schedule a section. I was devastated and said I'd really rather not. He sent me for a sono, baby was predicted to be 10 lb 6 oz.  Doctor called and said now can we schedule the section? I said I'd really rather not.  He said, okay you can try vaginal, but I want to induce. I said fine.  We induced and I had a vaginal birth. He was awesome through my delivery and things went really well. Looking back, I'm disappointed I let myself be induced, but it felt like a "win" at the time because I avoided the section. Still, I'm grateful for all of the knowledge I'd picked up, every birth story I'd read, and all of the moms I'd talked to who let me stand up to say I wanted to avoid a section. 

tantdylf

greengirl0909:

At my 39 week appointment, my doc said, yikes I think this baby is big, we better schedule a section. I was devastated and said I'd really rather not. He sent me for a sono, baby was predicted to be 10 lb 6 oz. nbsp;Doctor called and said now can we schedule the section? I said I'd really rather not. nbsp;He said, okay you can try vaginal, but I want to induce. I said fine. nbsp;We induced and I had a vaginal birth. He was awesome through my delivery and things went really well. Looking back, I'm disappointed I let myself be induced, but it felt like a "win" at the time because I avoided the section. Still, I'm grateful for all of the knowledge I'd picked up, every birth story I'd read, and all of the moms I'd talked to who let me stand up to say I wanted to avoid a section.nbsp;

How big was your baby?

pixieprincss

Yes. The on-call OB for DS1 said I couldn't push him out for several bogus reasons. She was constantly berating me during the 2nd stage and threatening a c-section, She was shocked and unprepared when he started crowning.