Preemies
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Sick of arguing...

I can not, for the life of me, get it through my mother's think skull that my kid isn't the average baby. Today she called to see if he could spend the night with them. He is 6 mo/ 3 adjusted and still on oxygen and an apnea monitor at night. I am so sick of arguing with her about it. She is so dense and just won't let it sink in that it isn't going to happen. She constantly tells me I am over protective and need to relax because I have them visit us rather than go to their house. But then will tell me I'm too relaxed when I don't run to him over his every little move. I just can't win. Anyone else have a crazy mom? Usually I hear this about the MIL but she's the awesome one. How do I get it to sink in?

Re: Sick of arguing...

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    imageCurlingRocks:
    I'm in a similar situation with my mom.  It sucks.  I just hang up or don't answer when she is being ridiculous.  May I suggest a possible solution?  Could she spend the night at your house to be with baby?  This might placate her without causing too much problem for you and baby.

     

    I do the same thing and hang up on her and I find myself ignoring her calls lately. She is constantly complaining and saying she is jealous that my in laws see him more, but they come over to visit. She doesn't want to make the effort to come over so it's her own fault. But yes, I have told her that her and dad are more than welcome to stay over but she says in inconvenient. Yes because it's convenient to pack up my kid and his oxygen and monitor and food and pack and play, ect. So annoyed. I think I'll just kick ignore mode in to high gear and see if she gets the point. 

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    You have described both my parents exactly! DS was a 26 weeker and parents came to visit a week after he was born. My dad told me I was being neglectful since I was cross stitching instead of spending time with DS. Ummhe was still in the incubator with a blanket over it...what was I supposed to be doing??? My mom was even worse since we lived 20 min away when I wa pg with him but delivered out of state by the inlaws and ended up moving to make sure he had continued care with the same doctors. He is almost 5 and my mother still talks to me about the whole preemie experience like I have never been through it and like she had it worse.
    I agree with others and just go into ignore mode and even stop taking many of her phone callsit was the only thing that kept me sane!
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    My mom lives in a different state, and thankfully is good about everything preemie. My grandmother on the other hand is just like your mom, add to that she seems to think she needs to take my moms place since my mom is out of state. She asked me yesterday if she could pick up DD for a few hrs today while I was at work after just telling me her husband has been extremely ill. She proceeded to whine about DD missing her get to know me time with her when I said no. I just use the ignore button most of the time lately. I feel bad b/c I love my grandmother but she had both my mom and uncle preemie and it irks me she seems to have forgotten how fragile the preemie immune system is.
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