MIL obssesed with dressing my daughter

twinklefairy

hi. im getting increasingly annoyed with my MIL as my daughter is her 1st grandchild and she had 3 boys and desperatly wanted a girl so u can imagine....my girl is 3 now and ive put up with alot when she was a baby with her telling me what to do. but she is now obsessed with buying her clothes from designer shops and asking me to put this on her for going here and that for going there. she just bought her two new coats even though she knows she has too many already. i feel sick at the amount of money she spends when my daughter has plenty. my sons christening is coming up and she wants me to put something yhat she bought on her. am i terrible for deliberatly wanting to put everything on her that i bought just to make a statement? and any advice on how to deal with it without hurting her feelings?

NativeFloridian

Coming from a single mom, I'd cash in on it if I were you.  Designer clothes, you say?  Too many?  Consign that sh!t.  Put your kid in it a few times and then sell it!

You'll make some side cash, you won't hurt your MIL's feelings, you don't have all those extra clothes to deal with - it's win-win.

twinklefairy

now there's an idea....thanks. genious.

Reagan1010

Is this MUD?

If it isn't you need to be appreciative. Have your daughter wear the clothes once or twice and then donate them to people who would be appreciative. Be thankful that your MIL gives a dammmn!

twinklefairy

thanks for comments. its made me see im just being petty. she is a good granny and i should be thankful she cares.

NerdyMama2

NativeFloridian:

Coming from a single mom, I'd cash in on it if I were you.  Designer clothes, you say?  Too many?  Consign that sh!t.  Put your kid in it a few times and then sell it!

You'll make some side cash, you won't hurt your MIL's feelings, you don't have all those extra clothes to deal with - it's win-win.

Yep. 

J&A2008

I am raising three boys and I will be THAT MIL when it comes to any granddaughters. 

Enjoy the gifts!

MJHershey

My MIL can be the same way with DS and I know it's over if this second one is a girl. We have accepted that she is a shopaholic and at least got her to get him size appropriate and season appropriate clothes.  We pick our battles. If it is something that I want to pick out I tell her so.

MesmrEwe

Cut to the chase and be honest with her!  It's going to lead to a hurt feeling at some point, so let her down gently with a simple "I already planned for DD to wear XYZ to ABC event"...  It's hard to make that first assertion that enough is enough, but you NEED to make it!

At one point DD had a beyond insane amount of "hand me down" clothes from SIL Having said "enough", it has cut down on the sheer amount of crap/clutter that the kids will never wear.  Some may call it petty, I call it a way to keep the house from turning into something on hoarders because SIL won't tell me what to do with the clothes that are here already!  I'm happy to give them back, but she doesn't want them back and won't give me the go-ahead to donate them so here I sit with a walk-in closet and more full of storage bins FULL of clothes that no longer fit DD. 

At some point there is a line in the sand, and you have to draw it for yourself.  The sooner the better!!  You'll be glad you did!

Snapdragon750

J&A2008:

I am raising three boys and I will be THAT MIL when it comes to any granddaughters. 

Enjoy the gifts!

Heck I have a daughter and I know I'm going to be THAT MIL...if only because my MIL buys so many clothes for DD that I rarely get to pick out any myself. I just think of all the money I'm saving and thank G-d that my MIL has great taste. 

jlw2505

Ask your DH to sit down and have a good long talk with his mother.  Have him explain that while you both really love that she wants to help and buy stuff for your DD that you would rather it not be so much and that she not tell you when to dress her in the stuff.  Explain that gifts for birthdays/holidays and every so often just because is fine but that you have so much already that you hate that she is spending money on clothes that will never be worn or only worn once.  We had to do this with my MIL who bought my older DD a ton of toys when she was a baby, like she would not see us without having a gift for my DD.  DH told her that we didn't want my DD to think of her only because she gave her gifts but to want to see her for her.  We told her if she felt the need to bring something to bring a book or a small treat like fruit or a few M&M's and it worked for the most part.  SHe goes way overboard at holidays but we let it slip and end up donating some of the stuff as its just way to much.