just miscarried my baby, trying to figure out how to explain to my daughter..sigh

savannahsmomma

Hi ...im sorry if im hard to understand this..i just am new to this . I had my first miscarriage 2 weeks ago well this wednesday will be 2 weeks and I been pretty devastated. I was supposed to be 12 weeks but i started spotting and went to my ob for us and found no hb and my baby was only measuring 8w 3d..i never been through this i have a 6 yr old little girl and she was my first pregnancy.she was so excited about being a big sister now me and my husband tried to tell her all she responds with is quit lying to me..what do i do ..any advice is welcome...ty

1bratmom

I am so very sorry for your loss. When I lost both of mine I had to spend time at the hospital; one delivered at 21 weeks and D/C 16 weeks. So my son (5 & 7 and the 2 different times) didn?t have any trouble believing us. My son had some experience with death my grandma and uncle have both passed during his life. I don?t have too much advice. I don?t want to pry so don?t feel like you need to answer on the board. But if you went to the hospital maybe say you know when mommy had to go to the hospital that?s when the baby died. Or just like fill in the blank the baby went to heaven.  My son still has questions about why and such I just tell him as much as I know. Which isn?t anything really just that bad things happen sometimes and the doctors don?t know why. After 2 loss he just now calls himself the lucky one J Sad but cute.

I wish I could help more. Again I am so very sorry.

Mellissa

xnbride

I am very sorry for your loss. It is so heartbreaking. I would just be very honest about it and answer the specific questions that she asks.

I would start with something like this:

"mommy lost the baby that was in her tummy. I am very sad and I will probably be sad for quite some time. Sometimes I may cry and it is ok and it is ok for you to feel sad too. Can you think of some questions that you would like to ask me? " 

You can do a memorial activity with her as well such as setting off a balloon or drawing a picture or picking out a memorial item together. Kids cycle through the grief process much faster then we do, so let her work through her emotions as well. Also, don't be afraid to express your emotions to her. You don't need to "stay strong" for her sake. Let her know that you are sad/confused/frustrated that way when she feels those emotions it does not feel taboo for her.  

Once again, I am so sorry you are going through this. Big hugs. 

neverblushed

xnbride:

I am very sorry for your loss. It is so heartbreaking. I would just be very honest about it and answer the specific questions that she asks.

I would start with something like this:

"mommy lost the baby that was in her tummy. I am very sad and I will probably be sad for quite some time. Sometimes I may cry and it is ok and it is ok for you to feel sad too. Can you think of some questions that you would like to ask me? " 

You can do a memorial activity with her as well such as setting off a balloon or drawing a picture or picking out a memorial item together. Kids cycle through the grief process much faster then we do, so let her work through her emotions as well. Also, don't be afraid to express your emotions to her. You don't need to "stay strong" for her sake. Let her know that you are sad/confused/frustrated that way when she feels those emotions it does not feel taboo for her.  

Once again, I am so sorry you are going through this. Big hugs. 

I think this is excellent advice.  Be honest with your feelings and know that your DD will become more accepting over time.

I'm sorry for your loss.  Hang in there. 

jw87

I am so sorry for your loss. 

I actually just had this conversation with my son.  I also wrote about it on my blog, 

https://oliviaiamstilllearning.blogspot.com/2013/02/telling-your-child-about-miscarriage.html

almostjennifer

We lost a baby at 15 weeks last year when my DD was 5 years old.  When I was in a calm frame of mind, I told her that the baby had died inside of me and it was OK for us to be sad about it.  We let DD name the baby and said that she would be in heaven waiting for us.  DD seemed to accept this pretty well and rarely mentioned it afterwards.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

PrideandJoy29

I'm so sorry for your loss.