Intro (sorry, long)

brooklynesque

Hi, ladies.  I found out today that my third IVF cycle was a failure.  I've been posting on the IF board for pretty close to six months now (and before I took a break, for several months before that) so I hope you'll have me.  

Most of my details are in my siggy.  I have kind of a rare issue -- I've been told that REs do not not see it very often, and there is no uniformly successful way to deal with it.  My eggs just refuse to mature.  Out of three IVF cycles with not terrible numbers of eggs for my age (7, 9, and 6), I've gotten only 2 mature eggs.  One fertilized naturally and resulted in a not great (20% frag) 6-cell embryo transferred on day 3; the other fertilized with rescue ICSI but grew into a totally fragmented mess by day 5.  (They didn't tell me why they were pushing me to day 5 on that one but I wanted the same thing -- to avoid a totally futile 2ww -- so I didn't press.)  Money quote today from the embryologist when I asked her about what the embryo looked like:  "It's so fragmented there really aren't any cells there anymore," LOL.  It was nice to be able to talk to the embryologist directly, even if the news was bad.

I go to a well regarded practice (N. YU) so my problem definitely isn't just that some clueless RE hasn't known when to trigger me or whatever.  The frustrating thing is that my FSH and AMH are not terrible; my cycles are clockwork regular; my response to stims has been okay; there is really nothing in the data that would have predicted an issue.

I've lurked here a lot over the past few months because I've felt like a vet for some time now.  DH and I have been trying since 2009, though it took us a well over a year (maybe almost 2) to get serious about treatments.  I'm really not sure how far to push trying with my OE before moving on to donor eggs or adoption.  I'm set to start with a new RE (NY S. IRM), and MH really wants me to cycle with them before we give up.  I have mixed feelings; this past IVF cycle was the last one covered by insurance, and even more than that, I just want to have a baby already.  I don't want another holiday season to pass with me hopelessly un-pregnant.  So a nontrivial part of me just wants to find a donor or get the home study rolling already.  But of course I'd love to have a baby with my OE if it was reasonably possible.

I'm also going to start taking DHEA regardless.  I've held off because I know that in some women it can be counterproductive, but I've heard some pretty amazing stories about what it can do for bad eggs.  I figure my results can't get much worse so what the hell?  I think I'll start with 50 mg a day and see if I develop crazy symptoms, them move to 75 mg a day after a couple of weeks.  If any of you ladies have experience with this I'd be happy to hear about it.  If I haven't experienced a miracle after about 6 months -- or if I can't stand the side effects -- I'll stop taking it.

So . . . not pleased to have to be here but very pleased to be here with you. 

Citygirl1015

I'm sorry about your failed IVF, and so sorry you have to be here  

I don't really have advice for your specific dx, but I also recommend looking into taking CoQ10, as that is supposed to help egg quality. I've been taking it since December and have noticed no adverse side effects.

hmz819

::lurker::

Have you looked into a clinic that has IVM?  (I think it's in vitro maturation?)  Once they do the ER they can put the eggs in a solution to get them to mature.  I know Dr. Braver.man in NY does this.  (I have not seen this RE so I am not saying anything about him as an RE...just know he does this procedure).

 Also, my RE is having me take Saizen (human growth hormone) this time around.  Last ER I had 16 eggs retrieved but only 6 were mature.  My Re told me that the Saizen could help mature some more eggs. 

Just a couple of things to look into.  Good Luck!

Edwina.McDunnough

I know that Dr T at s.irm-ny is very anti-DHEA so I'd run it past your RE first. It's an android steroid, not to be fooled with, and discussed at great length on this board previously.

Good luck with the new clinic.

Trippleb

Welcome Brooklynesque!   Check your PM.

megs3084

Welcome, im sorry you need to be here. I recognize you from IF. The ladies here are a great support.

J&D2007

Sorry about your long journey. It is so hard to decide when to push forward and when to let it go. I have no advice on that, but I hope you can have time to think. As far as the supplements, I started dhea 75mg and coq10 600mg about 4 weeks ago. My RE did suggest the coq10 for 3 months before my next ivf. When I asked about dhea, she said to 'go ahead and try that to, but there are no studies to prove it does anything or not'.  I'm not sure what the right thing is to do there, but I will say that 4 weeks into it I haven't had any side effects at all.  I have a consult with ccrm in about 4 weeks, so I will be interested to see what they say about the dhea.  I also started taking wheat grass (mixed in water), I read good things about that. 

luvboston

I am sorry you have to be here but welcome. I would call and set up a consultation with CCRM they are the best in the country and I have heard of them helping people in your situation. I had a horrible experience with Braverman and although he does reproductive endocrinology it's not his specialty. Also please don't waste your money going to him. I would not go to SIRM as I don't like there embryology team and had a horrible cycle there.

mm29

I'm sorry about your diagnosis!  I hope you find some answers soon. (((Huge hugs)))

BzeetyD

Welcome. I'm sorry about the outcome of your recent cycle.

Sorry you've found yourself here too. I hope you get some support and comfort from this board.

I would also echo being careful with DHEA. I had my worst IVF cycle on it and now, in dealing with C.CRM they did not suggest it for me at all.  Also I had terrible back-ne on it. Gross.

in addition I agree with hmz and you should look into IVM options/clinics. .C.CRM offers IVM and we're hoping it will bring us a better maturity rate in the future.

food for thought.

 

zazu13

So very sorry. We have gone through three failed fresh cycles as well. Even if you are at a great clinic, sometimes a fresh set of eyes can help. I think it's great you considered another opinion.  I hope the next steps will be clear decisions for you. We are considering adoption and potentially donor sperm so in the same conundrum. Sorry you have to be here. I hope we all get our miracles soon. Take care.

liz4paws

Welcome, although as others have said, I am very sorry you have to be here. I don't know much about your situation but I'm hoping you find the answers you need very soon. 

brooklynesque

hmz819:

::lurker::

Have you looked into a clinic that has IVM?  (I think it's in vitro maturation?)  Once they do the ER they can put the eggs in a solution to get them to mature.  I know Dr. Braver.man in NY does this.  (I have not seen this RE so I am not saying anything about him as an RE...just know he does this procedure).

 Also, my RE is having me take Saizen (human growth hormone) this time around.  Last ER I had 16 eggs retrieved but only 6 were mature.  My Re told me that the Saizen could help mature some more eggs. 

Just a couple of things to look into.  Good Luck!

Thanks for the suggestions.  I'm pretty sure my clinic did put my eggs in an IVM solution this time, though I need to talk to my RE to confirm when (i.e., was it upon retrieval or only the next day when they figured out none were mature -- the plan was the former but I forgot to ask the embryologist about it).

Saizen is definitely something I'll discuss with the new RE; I know he uses it. 

brooklynesque

Edwina.McDunnough:

I know that Dr T at s.irm-ny is very anti-DHEA so I'd run it past your RE first. It's an android steroid, not to be fooled with, and discussed at great length on this board previously.

Good luck with the new clinic.

Edwina:  He actually didn't discourage it for me, which probably just shows what a puzzling case I am -- it's not clear what, if anything, can help me, so anything is worth a try. 

amy1004

Welcome! I wish the circumstances were different. I hope you have great success with the new clinic!

Scoop77

Hi and welcome. Sh!tty place to be but great gals to be there with.

I don't have any specific advice about your situation but I echo your feelings about being torn between continuing with what you're doing vs. taking the next step. It's hard to know when it's the right move. Either way, I'm pulling for ya!

See you on the boards...

Edwina.McDunnough

brooklynesque:

Edwina:  He actually didn't discourage it for me, which probably just shows what a puzzling case I am -- it's not clear what, if anything, can help me, so anything is worth a try. 

Good luck with it then. I'm glad you've discussed this with him.

DoublePortion

Hello & welcome! I'm sorry you're here and that your issues are rare. FX SI.RM will be able to figure something out for you.

joules12

Hi there!  I recognize you from my days over on IF and I'm sorry that you find yourself here.  Also very sorry about your recent IVF...sounds like an extremely frustrating situation to be in.  Wishing you all the best with S.IRM.

Julie21613

Hello & welcome.... It s*cks you have to be here but a nicer and more supportive group of ladies can't be found anywhere.  Its a great place to vent and know you won't be judged!  Good luck with S.IRM.

 

 

PurpleIris30

Welcome!

hootie123

Welcome!  I am also seeing Dr. T at S.IRM for our last horrah for IVF#5.  Good luck and hopefully he will help us both find answers!