How did you prepare #1 for #2?

duffmaker

M will be 18months old when DS is born and I'm not sure how to go about "preparing" her... I mean it seems so much easier with an older child, when they can really understand what is happening but what do you do for a younger one?

I'm a SAHM so I feel like that will be rough on her so we've already started working on having DH take more responsibilities. He's been slowly doing more meal/snack times and bed times. We've even started getting him out of his giving-baths-phobia lol and on the weekends he pulls a lot more weight with her, even getting up in the mornings with her and taking her out on errands. She's very independent, she keeps herself entertained for hours on end, goes to sleep by herself and sleeps very well, etc. so I think that will help us in the long run. When it comes to TV time, I've been using the on demand and choosing her favorite shows where the episode is about babies in some way.

We don't have any babies in our families, she is the youngest so we can't really go the hands on learning route... is there anything else I can do that I'm not already?

lindsay.lou

Honestly? Nothing.

DS1 was only 15.5 months olds when DS2 was born. When I was pregnant, DS1 was 6.5 - 15.5 months old, waaaay too young to understand the concept up, "a baby is coming, you're going to be a big brother." 

memali26

DD1 was just shy of 19 months when DD2 was born and we didn't do anything special to prepare her. When we started getting out and setting up the baby gear (swing, bouncy seat, etc) we talked about how they are for babies, but that was just to keep her from climbing all over them. 

gajumper

I was wondering the same thing....DS #1 will be 18 months when #2 comes along.

He has been in daycare since he was 8 weeks, so he knows about being around other kids, both older and younger...I am hoping that will help a bit. 

Irisheyes1247

I don't think you will be able to prepare in the "a new baby is coming to live at our house." but I think there are some things that you can work on that will help you down the line once baby comes, like having a baby doll and modeling "gentle" and how you hold the baby, and also kind of making a "game" out of helping you. Keeping your LO involved will be a help once the new baby comes.

Annie Frannie

We worked hard to teach baby about the baby in Mama's tummy, and how it will come out and be with us soon. We started that when I started showing. DD was probably 15 months, or so. We just reinforced it, invited her to give my tummy kisses and hugs, talked about what the baby would be like - talked a lot about what DD was like as a baby . . . Brought her into the stories as much as we could. When I changed her diaper, I would ask her who was Mama's baby, and DD would say, "Tummy!" Then I would ask her who else is Mama's baby, and she would shout her name. Made me tear up every time, she was always so sweet. When DS arrived, DD knew he'd come out. We had a bit of trouble with nights and sleeping for DD the first week, but other than that,  no real jealousy issues surfaced. Sometimes DD will still point at my stomach and say her brother's name, letting us know that's where he was, and then she'll nod and say "Out." She gets it. They're only 20 months apart - we're four months into the adventure and loving it most of the time. 

p.s. At the age we started talking to DD about the tummy, baby, etc., she was just too young to care long enough about a baby doll and all that. i tried modeling with her to prepare her, but usually ended up playing with the doll myself because DD didn't care. So we just relied on what was in front of her. Then, too, if we saw other pregos out and about, we'd talk about their babies, and look for babies who were already out. DD still isn't much for the dolls, but will help a lot with her baby brother. She's very sweet and gentle with him - even shares her favorite blankies with him from time to time! We are so lucky. 

mbgreenwalt

Nothing, they are 21 months apart.  I talked about her sister, but she didn't know what I was talking about.

aandg

Nothing. DS was not quite 18 months old when DD was born and he was completely clueless.

duffmaker

Hahaha okay ladies, thank you! So basically just let things pan out? Works for me... I've been stressing out about how to prepare her and it seems silly now that I've read your responses

Jacqui105

The only thing I can think of is a big sister book. I started reading DD1 her Im A Big Sister book each night as things got closer. It became her favorite book. I guess I have no proof but I still believe it helped. Even now we read it, and the page say, that talks about having to ask mommy to hold the baby, now we can relate to it. I can say, you have to ask to hold your sister too, right? Otherwise, we would say baby and point to my belly,etc, but I think she just started to think the word for belly was baby.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

Yeah, not much to do in terms of preparation.

We had gotten DD1 a baby doll, but that really didn't become helpful until after the baby was born - she LOVED to mimic whatever it was that I was doing. She'd change "her baby's" diaper, carry her around, even pretend to nurse her...

LovelyLou23

In hindsight, I would say that I'm glad i taught DD to be gentle when rubbing my belly. She would hug and kiss my belly, say "brother", and I would say, "can you give brother gentle rubs?" and show her how to be gentle. I think this more so just taught her what kind of touches were ok. 

oh, and they are 19 months apart. 

red1976

Mine are 17months apart. It sounds like you're in a great position with your LO being so independant. That's one thing I worked on prior to DD2s arrival. Another was teaching DD1 the understanding of 'gentle'. I already used it with our dog but reinforced it with other things ie. her baby dolls, other children, etc. so she would understand 'gentle' in reference to her sister when the time came.