Vent of BD (long)
mimimimimiiii
member
So BD and I broke up few months ago, we haven't contact each other since Xmas till now. Few days ago I sent him an email told him that my due date is in 3 months later and I hope he could come to the hospital and see LO once, just cause we broke up but LO deserves to have a father sometimes with her.
I got his replied on the other day he said Sorry but NO, No matter what the reason is hes not going to do that. I'm using the baby to see him and stuff, if there is a first time there will be the second time for sure. I have already told a lot of people he left me because of the baby but that is not the main reason (he likes to party a lot and he told me the baby gonna ruin his life and make him no future). He suggested me to give him my LO so he can take her to go for an adoption. He said he is doing this for both of us future, it helps me and him a lot. And also he is not trying to run away of being a dad, it just us seeing things differently (I think there is no excuses about that, cause he is gonna be a dad is a fact). And also if I don't want to go for an adoption, asked me to move on like everyone does and told me not to contact him anymore.
Honestly, I won't consider for an adoption since I made a decision to keep her. He had gut to make the baby but he doesn't want to take the responsibility. When we were in a relationship he said a lot of nice things to me and after we broke up he just made all the stuff up. Whether he wants to see the baby or not I don't care anymore, but I hate when he say something sounds like I'm still crazy in love with him. I would never ever use my LO to see him.
Thanks for reading it, I finally get the vent out of my chest:)
Re: Vent of BD (long)
Yes the father also pushed me very hard to not have it but I still gravitate towards him.. I constantly reach out to him and its always a slap on the face. I am very close to wanting to cut him out but I need child support and I know that he would be good to his baby and OK/civil with me. So I feel like I have no choice but I think I def need to stop contacting him and maybe just when the baby arrives and then Ill see what happens...
I guess after hearing your situation and the immaturity of this guy it might be better if you dont contact him and just let him know when you have the baby. After that its up to him if he wants to father the baby. Either way (And I will also do this) file papers figure out now the process of getting child support. The court will order a paternity test and then I guess after the results you can add him to the birth certificate. Im not 100% sure what the process is and its prob different in every state.
If your not going to need or want child support then dont waste your time. Just contact him once to let him know you had the baby the rest is up to him. This is how I will prob do things. I wish it was different for us girls..
The other day I was babysitting a 2 yr old girl and when her parents came home they both were hugging her and kissing her. I started crying immediately. While I feel so alone now I hate that my child wont have the beautiful family time or memories of both parents. But its the reality of things and I guess the sooner I accept this the better for me. Its very difficult though. He got back together with his EX and I cry when I think about them. I need to just accept it... We need to pray for strength.
I agree with PPs. He sounds like a real piece of work. It's probably better for you and your LO both to not have him around bringing you down. GL!
How NOBLE of him to offer to help you with an adoption ((rolling my eyes))
(that was sarcasm)
He is going to say/do anything to get rid of this baby....and he will try to manipulate you into anything that eases his responsibilty.
Just hold your ground and cut off communication for now. He does not deserve to share in the joy of this baby....he does not deserve your open communication.
Take care of yourself and your beautiful girl!
Make a pregnancy ticker
yeah, your ex sounds like a royal creep. if he really wants nothing to do with the child protect yourself and get a custody order.
congrats to you though, Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who loves her so much already