BOTB but not TTC

shylos_mom

I am 39, I was married at 33, DH is 10years older than me. We have had 3 MC, one in 2009 two in 2010. After talking about it he is afraid I will go into a depression if it happens again.  So his suggestion, be happy with what we have, 2 furry dogs.  And for the most part I am.  I am grateful for the flexibility our life allows. And even at my advanced aged, I still find my brain longing to be pregnant.  I have discussed this, correction, I have raised this issue, and he says we don't have to close the door, but I think Mother Nature is closing it for us.  I just want to know is there anyone else out there that has resigned to the fact that children are not in the cards?

mamathefox

I was just talking to a friend today who is 40 and just had her first after years of trying. What worked for her was acupuncture, pre-seed lubricant and put in a soft cup after sex to hold in all the 'work' LOL .... Being above a certain age and TTC can be tricky but not always impossible. Good luck and fingers crossed for your future! 

DebateThis

There are a few "Child Free Not By Choice" boards floating around on the internet, including one over in the links on the left. I've also heard the book Sweet Grapes by Jean Carter and Michael Carter has been invaluable to couples moving to "the other side" and living a child-free life not of their own decisions.

That being said, it really sounds like your heart has not given up on biological children. Have you seen a Reproductive Endocrinologist to find out the causes of your miscarriages? Between your age and your three losses, an RE would be your best bet in both finding the reasons behind your recurrent pregnancy loss (if possible) and potentially helping you conceive. Even if you don't wind up pursuing fertility treatments w/ an RE, a consultation and the RPL/infertility testing may be the information you need to bring you closure.

Good luck.

little_bren

So sorry, OP. Hugs. GL.

surpriseaddition

You do still have a few years left to try again, but if that is what you want, I wouldn't wait much longer.  I agree with PP in that you should see a specialist to see what is causing the m/c to hopefully prevent it next time. 

There is also a TTC board for over 35, and a pregnant after 35 board on here too.  Even though I already had two great kids, I found myself longing for another for many years.  I conceived naturally at 42 and will deliver at 43, even though we weren't trying.  You never know what is in the cards!  My DH is 48, so not that far off from yours.