Please help!

Mrs.R7878

My husband and I are adopting our first child!  We are currently waiting and in the process of putting the nursery together while we wait!  I am hoping to get some "do's and don'ts" from moms out there.  One suggestion was no bumper bads....not safe. 

Any other adoptive parents waiting that can give words of wisdom/encouragement?

 Greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

maryoosa

Our agency recommends not putting together a nursery until there is a baby. So, that's the advice we are following.

Dr.Loretta

I highly recommend the book Baby Bargains. It will help you narrow down many of the options out there.

I'd also look into a newborn care class through your local hospital. We were the clueless first time parents who learned a few things there.

Anything else specific you want to ask about, feel free!

dholsapp

LOVE ourvideomonitor. I don't have to running and check on DS with every little sound! 

Mrs.R7878

Really?  Did they say why?  Our agency required us to have a crib, and so far thats all we have done.  We have bedding, but did not do any other decor yet.

Mrs.R7878

Thanks!  We actually debated about a video monitor, but now I know that someone actually uses it and loves it, we will look into going that route!

maryoosa

We live in a state where TPR doesn't happen until 30 days after placement. Thus, there is the chance of a failed match at the outset, and then also of revocation. The agency believes that having a completed nursery around in those cases would be more painful than beneficial, and so recommends against "doing-up" a nursery until the baby can no longer be returned.

kmkaull2

maryoosa:

We live in a state where TPR doesn't happen until 30 days after placement. Thus, there is the chance of a failed match at the outset, and then also of revocation. The agency believes that having a completed nursery around in those cases would be more painful than beneficial, and so recommends against "doing-up" a nursery until the baby can no longer be returned.

Eh, this is a matter of personal opinion.  We have this discussion a lot on this board.  Some people adhere to the above advice.  Others, like me, liked having a completed nursery.  It was both a sense of hope and comfort.  I'm also a big time planner and wanted not to worry about setting up a nursery.  Do what feels right to you.  

As for advice, I second the suggestion of reading Baby Bargains.  I also started a library of other books--Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is one to get you started.  

I stockpiled swaddlers including the Miracle Blanket and Aden & Anais muslin blankets.

 Highly recommend Chicco Keyfit 30 car seat.

LIQueen

maryoosa:

Our agency recommends not putting together a nursery until there is a baby. So, that's the advice we are following.

I am surprised they give out that advice.  What if you get matched with a baby that is waiting in a hospital or is born in 1 day.  I would def want a nursey done so I did not have to have a brand new baby and a room that is not together.  Too much stress all at once.  More time can be spent with the baby when you are not having to paint, buy stuff, and put together a room.

kfourcat

My husband and I are active, with no match. We went ahead and got the nursery ready. We feel a lot more comfortable being ready, so we got a crib, changing table, and a "go bag" with everything we may need for a hotel room. We also got a pack n play and car seat. Everything else we will wait until after the baby is born and there are showers.

LIQueen

Yes, I would get the essentials.  Like the stuff you need if a baby came home with you tomorrow.  Tons of clothes and just cute stuff can wait until you have a shower/meet the baby or just buy it later when you know the sex of the baby and all that.  I am painting our nursery today and when it is all done we will buy a crib, changing table, and rocker/glider for the room.  Once we are matched we will buy a stroller and car seat.  We are then planning on having a meet the baby party at our house and then we can just register for fun stuff/clothes..ect.  Oh and my mom already bought a bunch of newborn pjs, a spa bathtub, and the fisher price rocker sleeper for us to take to the hotel.

maryoosa

It makes sense for us. We wouldn't do anything special if we were pregnant either until after the baby is born. Just too many risk factors. We're doing attachment parenting, so the kid's gonna be in our room for at least a few months, which will give us time to set up a nursery.

silliestbunny

My advice-  proceed as a pregnant mom would  Read books and articles.  See what style of parenting makes sense for you.

FWIW- We used bumpers until my girls were moving and then moved them out... just my preference.  

srmmm09

Ditto PP. We used bumpers until DS ripped them off trying to use them to move around (yes, I have a little Hulk). I also let him sleep on his tummy when we stopped swaddling him because FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE I HAVE TO SLEEP TOO SOMETIMES. ahem.

I feel like we can freak ourselves out thinking of allllll the thiiiings that could possibly go wrong. But I liked the bumpers bc it kept the nightlight from shining in his eyes.

We actually didn't do any decorating for our DS's baby room. Honestly, it was his changing table, crib, and then my craft stuff everywhere else! We decorated the room with his big boy bed he sleeps in now (the room he'll most likely share with his sibling when we bring him home!). But E is a ninja; he started climbing out of his crib at 17 months. It was no longer safe to keep him in there. 

As PPs have said; every parent is different. Do what works for your family and don't stress.