Adjusting to new life

Echowysp

I know it's way early and a lot of this is normal adjustment, but does/did anyone find themselves wondering when this new life will feel "normal" again? 

I've always had a hard time with transitions, and had these feelings with all of my major life changes (getting serious with dh, getting engaged and then when I first got pregnant), but then end up adjusting nicely, so I know in the end my feelings will regulate.  I guess I feel guilty that I'm not feeling as "normal" as I thought I would.  I love my baby, but I also find myself mourning my old life.  I miss being able to lazily go through cookbooks, looking for tonight's dinner and having it ready for dh when he gets home.  I can't even make soup for myself half of the time now..lol.  I miss the rhythm of my old life.... now there seems to be *no rhythm. I feel a bit isolated at home, but it's so cold out that I really can't do much with baby outside. 

Please tell me that this gets better....

 

 

Jim&Jaime

It will get better.  I guess I'm the opposite, as I'm totally surprised how normal getting up 3 to 4 times a night to feed my son seems to me after such a short time.

shakespearenluv

I started feeling better adjusted at one month.  It's still new and overwhelming at times but it got better after the first month.

vanillacourage

It gets better.

True story - I told my MIL that I feel like I spent half my maternity leave just waiting for DS to fall asleep for a nap, so I could take a shower, or eat lunch or do SOMETHING for myself.  Now, he goes to bed about an hour after I get home from work, so I just hope that he's able to stay awake until his normal bedtime. 

ketamarie

It totally gets better! Your hormones are really trying to adjust right now. Just give it time. I feel like everything got much better at about six weeks. That is also when babies start to really smile and interact too. I was a wreck for the first three weeks. Totally normal. It will get better...just give it some time!

papagena

It gets a lot better - we settled into some type of pattern around 6-7 weeks, and now I feel like there is more of a flow to our days.  I still miss lazily looking at cookbooks, but now I look forward to playing with DS and then sneaking in a cup of tea while he naps for his 45 minutes.

Megan Briggs

I'm so with you.  I am bored out of my mind, yet busy every minute of the day. I keep thinking of friends with older babies and reminding myself that this newborn phase doesn't last forever.

Bejebus

Give it 8 weeks.  DS was a huge fusspot and up 5 million times a night until 6 weeks, then it was good for a day or two, then we went through a week-long 6 week growth spurt that nearly killed me.  Now, he's a totally different baby and I'm much more used to being a mom.

I have always hated change; I know it's necessary, and usually even good... but I still hate it.  I've found that just giving it time, and venting when I needed to, eventually I get used to it and it's better than I ever expected.  Good luck. 

k8elee03

I could've written this post at 2 weeks. I actually saw my doc and a therapist about PPD, if this continues, you might want to do the same. It helped me to talk it out with a therapist; there was something about being told by a "professional" that my feelings were normal and OK that made it easier for me.

It's OK to feel sad for your old life. It's OK to miss the freedom that you used to have. Totally normal, don't feel guilty about that.

As your baby gets older, she'll (or he, sorry I can't see your siggy at this point) develop a rhythm. Things will start to normalize, you will start to feel better physically and emotionally. You will have time to page through your cookbooks. Just maybe not as much :-)

Those first few weeks were the roughest of my life. Wonderful at times, but most often, difficult adjusting to the new life. But now, it's so much better, so much easier, and I love my life a 1,000 times more now than before my baby was part of it.

Hang in there. It will get better.

digginja

I had an "ah ha" moment at 7 weeks where I was like, "ok, I can do this. This is better." The first weeks and month are VERY hard. You can do it. I know 7 weeks probably feels like light years away right now, but you can do it. Just take it one day/month at a time and it will get better. For me it was better at 7 weeks, even better at 3 months and now at 5+ months it is fabulous! You will get there.

KKM

Your little one is so new right now.  I remember thinking 'ok, this is getting a little better' then he would go and change his schedule.  It does get sooooo much better.  I promise.  Give it a month or two, and use us her on this board for support.  It is tough, but it will get better

CreatingMiracles

Adjusting and falling into the role of mother is hard. ?You are essentially adding another personality to your life.?

It gets SO much better - and then you decide to do it all over again and are in the same boat...lol?

inateapot

I've been sad about the loss of our old life too.  I was a wreck the first 3 weeks.  Just MISERABLE.   I would have given DD away then if anyone had asked.  And I felt guilty about not liking DD either! 

But around 5-6 weeks that started to change.  Now I adore her and am coping much better.  Of course, the level of coping changes day to day, but for the most part, I'm doing better.  Everyone tells me it gets better from here, so I'm hoping it does!!

Mrs.BLG

I was the same way. It honestly took until he started smiling and being response to me for it to get better. I still sometimes miss my old life and feel angry that I just can't come and go as I please. It does get better. It is a huge adjustment....so it is going to take some time.

Echowysp

Thanks, guys.  It feels good knowing others have felt the same way and that it gets better.

racegirl723

As time goes by and your baby gets on a schedule and your hormones start to even out, it will get better.  I think after 2 months I was feeling much more normal.  Then by the time he was three months old he was on a really good schedule and when I went back to work I felt like I got part of my identity back.  Hang in there...it will get better!!

MayBride27

Yes, it gets better in terms of handling the hours and your new role. But you'll always miss being independent from the little life that now needs you. I know I do. I love DD and I wouldn't go back for anything, but my social life isn't what it used to be. Even the free time at home is for DD, not for me...Seeing my friends with older children gives me something to look forward to later (like making fav. cookbook recipes with her) but also something to treasure now, since never in her life will she need you as much as she needs you in the begining.

CrazeyJaneyR

i felt the same way - still do some days. It's way harder than I thought!! You aren't alone. I actually went to a therapist to see if I had PPD. She said that most new Moms feel the same as we all do!! It gets better every week - I know it's hard to believe, but it does!