**gertiebarden**

Lbloom

I noticed on the PAL post that you're new here and that you named your angel Eleanor. My angel is also an Eleanor (I've wanted to name my daughter that since I was a kid!) I just wanted to say that I am thinking about you and remembering how hard it was in the early weeks to function (that includes trying to go back to work). On the one hand it was a nice distraction (when it worked) but when it didn't work... it is really hard to keep your head in the game when all you think about is your angel. What helped me was doing creative things to keep her memory alive and keep pictures around (I even had one at my desk). I hope it helps. ((Hugs!))

Xath

Thank you.  I still feel like I'm on a roller coaster, though I seem to be developing more control of myself.  You're right in everything you've suggested.  I've started hanging up photos all over the house, and I'm working on an embroidered Christmas stocking for her.  Those things aren't much, but at least I feel like I'm doing something for her.  It seems so insignificant when I think about how much time and energy I would be devoting to her if she were still here.  

I'm sorry you lost your Eleanor too.  I was so excited to name her that; I already had so many nick-names picked out.  I still call her my Ellie-bean when I write to her in my journal.  Thanks for thinking of us.