Just need to vent (long)
Let me start off by saying that I will still be doing what I want to do instead of other peoples opinions, and I know that everyone has a right to their opinion, I just need to vent a little.
I love my family so much and they are being awesome in support for me, my LO, and my situation that I am in. I'll give a little background as to what's going on. I am 28 years old, I was dating a guy for a couple of months and we kind of just stopped talking to one another, just wasn't sparking into anything but a friendship. Well about a month after we stopped talking I got the BFP. He's got two kids already, and this is the last thing that he wanted (which I KNOW that he could have avoided and all that jazz, so he needs to suck it up bc it was his decision too, etc, etc). One of the things that turned me off about him (to be in a relationship) was that he's not very assertive in being in contact with people. I was ALWAYS the one that initiated contact, which when you're dating someone makes them feel like they've got better things to do then to talk to you... Anyways, that's off topic. I told him about 2 weeks after I found out and he told me that he was going to be involved and be there. Well again, he's not very assertive so I have been giving him updates but I am not constantly just throwing it out there. I am of the opinion that if he wants to knows, he'll get in contact with me. Now, if there was something that was going on with baby, then of course I would let him know right away. But so far everything has been perfectly fine, I've been healthy, LO is healthy, and I haven't needed to really reach out to him. We've had a couple of come to Jesus talks in the past month about him not really being "involved" right now so it makes me worry how he will be after birth. Basically his words were that as long as I am holding him financially responsible, then he'll be there but (he didn't say this next part it's how I understood it) if for some reason I wouldn't hold him financially responsible then he wouldn't be around. Well gee.... that makes me feel so freaking wonderful about the situation. Never mind that I am 28, made a pretty big mistake in not taking precautions in getting pregnant, but now I AM going to be a single mom with what seems to be no help... awesome. I feel even worse about my situation because in all reality, I'm a grown up, I should have known better.
Now, after that there's my family... again I love them dearly and they are helping me and supporting me. It's just frustrating with some of the opinions they have about how much time I should be taking off after baby is born. I am starting a new job here in the end of February. Training for this new job takes 8-12 months. So by the time I have LO, I will be a few months shy of finishing my training. This isn't a big deal because they will freeze my training and I'll pick back up once I'm back. Now I would like to take about 4 weeks, but my Dr says that she doesn't usually sign off any earlier than 6 weeks. Here's the dilemma, my Aunt (who also works at said job and is a trainer) and my Grandma believe that I should take at the most 2 weeks off. I want to breastfeed and the comment my Aunt made after I told her two weeks wouldn't be long enough to get baby on a BF routine was "Well maybe that means you don't breastfeed then." My Grandma had previously made the comment that she thinks I should take a week off... ummm what??? Yeah my body may not even be healed yet and lord forbid I have to have a c-section!
So there's most of my frustrations. I am worried about taking too much time off from my new job, but I refuse to sacrifice the well being of my child just because they want me to not take so much time off. I'll have about 3.5-4 weeks of sick, vacation, and comp time built up to use to get paid. After that I can use Short term disability for the rest of the time.
Vent over. Whew I feel better already.
Re: Just need to vent (long)
You gotta take care of the baby FIRST!
Two weeks.....are you kidding me? If you could work from home than maybe. Does you family NOT understand that you will probably not even find a child-care provider who will take a baby less then 6 weeks old?
You need to have a heart-to-heart with your Doctor about all this....explain your situation....then LISTEN to your Doctor's advice. He/she knows best.
There is a reason that a woman gets 6 weeks off for having a baby. (Never mind that is really NOT long enough)
Make a pregnancy ticker
Sorry I fell behind in checking this! But yeah it seems as though their still living in 1950 about Dr's. It hasn't come up lately so I think they get it now... maybe who knows.
My next Dr's appt is my a/s scan and then I have my OB appt, I'll definitely bring it up to her then. Thanks!