Temper tantrums.

mommacheetah29

Hey everyone.

I'm new to the site. I am really excited to be able to talk to other mothers and hear other peoples advice and opinions on here! Here goes.

I want to ask about babies have temper tantrums. My son will be a year old march 1st (I had him on leap year.. 2-29-12, cool huh?!) 

For the past 2 months or so I have noticed his temper really setting in. When he doesn't get his way he will scream and scream. If it is something he shouldn't be doing I tell him no..explain why and take him away from the area he is in and move him somewhere different. Then I show him something new to do. If it is something the cant have.. I take it away and explain why he cant have it. Then I give him something else and explain that this is his toy and he can play with this instead. This seems to be working fine.

 But changing ( diaper or clothes) had become a big issue.. He wont lay still to change his diaper.I give him toys so he will lay and be content long enough to change him.Sometimes this works and sometimes he just wants up! He will cry, scream, squirm, and roll over .. to get up.  I hate having to "hold" him down. The same thing with changing his clothes most of the time.. he just wants nothing to do with it. I try and talk to him and explain the things I am doing as I go but ..it doesn't help to soothe him. He just wants to do what he wants to do.. when he wants to do it

I'm sure this is normal with a lot of babies. My son has always been a mover! He is constantly on the go and has to be doing something.

Any tips or suggestions on how to make changing time a littler easier for us? And how do I approach the situation when he starts throwing tantrums? I want to get a point across and help him to understand why we are doing things (like changing). I want to try and calm him down and soothe him when he gets in these tantrums. Sometimes I get so upset using a stern voice with him because to me he is still my little infant.. even though in reality I know hes not that little anymore. We are approaching toddler years.

 It's not to early to start to discipline.. right?

 Thank in advance.

sunnyday016

I see nothing wrong with redirection, but in general I do think it's too young to start discipline. At this age they are just curious about everything, so nothing they do is to be "naughty" or intentionally disobedient, it's to see cause & effect. 

We're having tons of trouble at changing time too. I just keep trying to give him toys and try to go as quick as possible so he doesn't have to lay there as long. I think expecting him to lay still is a bit unrealistic of me, he's a mover and is never still when he's awake. So, no real advice, just commiseration.

Also, these are not real temper tantrums  

Suzanne68

This

 

SteelCity44

My kid is not a fan of getting changed anymore either. Sometimes toys work, others, not-so-much. I think it's a bit early to discipline in some ways. Although, some would consider redirecting discipline. If he's throwing something (food, toy, sippy, whatever), and keeps asking for it back, he'll lose the object for awhile. Technically, that's disciplining him I guess. When he bit me while nursing and I covered up, that was a form of discipline.

As for my current success with changing clothes, I let him sit up for as much as possible, then I let him crawl or stand for the other parts (snaps, zippers, pants, etc). He just doesn't want to lay on his back for more than 4 seconds. Even after his bath, one of the last things I do is put his diaper on and put his legs into the jammies, which has greatly improved that routine. 

addam&tara

Make the situation he's pist about fun. This definitely helped us with diaper changes.

diana.filipi

My DD was so very different.  Changing her diaper was never (ever) really all that difficult.  DH and I laugh that it should be an Olympic event changing DS.  He's really, really hard to get a diaper on after bath for instance.  Also, DD didn't start any real temper tantrums 'till recently (she's 3!).  DS will actually lay on the floor and arch and do this fish out of water kind of thing.  CRAZY.

But, event though he'll be 1 in about 2 weeks he is too young for actual discipline IMO.  I tell him NO in a stern voice when he goes for the dogs bowls but I pick them up and put them out of reach.  I know from DD that he'll get it soon enough.  He isn't going to get it any faster if I do something to him because he went for them.  He's simply too young as yet.

acia

Every thing your child is doing is totally normal.

He doesn't have words yet, so if he's frustrated he shows it by crying or fussing or "tantruming" (though trust me, you ain't seen nothin' yet!).

He wants to move, and doesn't have the reasoning ability to understand why he needs to stay still.

I think what you're doing is good - redirection and distraction are the best discipline tools when they're little (and even when they're older). Keep explaining your reasoning and soon enough he'll be old enough to get it. (And honestly, even when they do understand, you'll be find yourself repeating it over and over - kids need repetition to learn.) I also make a point of reflecting their feelings back to them (eg "I can see you're really frustrated because you really wanted to play with that candle. But it's not a safe toy for you, so let's find you something you can play with.") This helps them feel validated, and also gives them words for feelings that they can use when they're old enough.

Here's a tip I use for my super squirmy baby during change time: I always keep 3-4 toys at the change table that are JUST for changing time. Small things that she likes to explore - a little rattle, a tiny box,, and even some "homemade" toys like a sippy cup with a couple coins inside - that will keep her amused for the 1 minute it takes to change her. Because she only gets them at the change table, and only for a minute or two at a time, they're novel and keep her still while I change her.

I know it can be frustrating and upsetting when your child gets upset. But keep in mind that it's your job to stay calm - that way, you're teaching him by example how to deal with stress. Take some deep breaths, visualize a happy place, sing a silly song, fake it if you have to, but stay calm. In my opinion, it's never necessary to use a stern voice with a baby (or even a young child) unless they're doing something seriously dangerous and it's really your intention to startle them. But obviously that's often easier said that done!

Good luck and keep up the great work, mama!

 

contourhands

Hi

Well lets see.... Sorry to hear about the difficulties!
I do all the distraction stuff too, just mix it  up, let him play with whatever will distract him (for us this week it's the wipe container).  I also try distracting him with songs, smiles, funny sounds, anything to keep him still!!!

As far as the tantrums, yes distraction and taking away anything that is usually an issue tends to help but you can also try a little humor.  I had a problem with my son getitng mad when I was feeding him because he didn't like me putting the spoon in his mouth.  I started making a funny "chu chu" sound with a big smile and it worked!!! I also keep a bunny in the car for the car seat spectical.  Distract and make a game of it, it will be more light hearted and when it really comes to dangerous stuff then I'd use discipline.  Be firm and consistant.

Hope this helps!

palm513

I have had to learn how to change a wet diaper while he is crawling away... cause nothing works! with poopy diapers I usually try to keep their attention on me by singing silly songs and wiggling their arms and talking to them.... but I have given up on keeping them still for changing their clothes and peed diapers. I have twins and until I learned to let them do what they want to do while I do what I have to do the morning diaper and dress took almost an hour of rolling them back over putting their leggs in their pants atleast ten times.... and now it's down to only taking 10 mins like it should