Need advice on previous donor?

hooliface

DH and I had our amazing DD #2 via a DE last april.    We are head over heels for her and could not be happier.     We sadly did not get any frosties with our cycle (our donor was overstimmed) and ended up very sick in the end.    We had 29 retrieved, 18 mature, 12 fert and I ended up with a day 3 transfer of 2 great embies and nothing frozen.

We would love to have another little one to round out our family.    Here is my concern, the agency we worked with said that our donor was NOT going to donate again and to take her off the donor list.    She apparently had a very bad recovery due to stims and was not up for doing it again.

I would love to have her for our donor again as we would like to have our 2 DE babies be from the same donor.    I thought about sending her a card, via the agency and asking her to be our donor again?

My questions:   Would you tell the agency that we are doing this in the card or just send it through them and not tell what is in the card?     I could tell them I am sending the card as a followup to our first year with DD and how thankful we are.

I am just worried that if I tell them why we are sending it, they would not give it to her since she already told them NO.    I figure its been a year and maybe she would have a change of heart if its for the same family.

WWYD?

Thanks  

chekeemonkee

I am currently pregnant with a DE, so I understand your desire to have another child through the same donor if possible.  However, I would highly recommend talking to the agency about contacting the donor.  You are putting the donor in an awkward position and also asking her to put her health at risk again.  I would ask the agency if anything has changed with the donor status and respect the donor's decision if it is still no.

 

Km672

I have to agree with the PP. It is really important to me that if we are fortunate enough to have children that they are 100 percent biological to one another. We are using both DE and DS

Unfortunately, this is something I don't have any control over. I hope you end up lucky in this situation, but I would only contact the donor through the agency and respect her wishes.
I wish this was easier!

stinkerbell6879

I have to ditto everyone else... I'd ask the agency and see what they say.