MIL oopsie...

Mrs.RockyM

So I just emailed MIL, BIL, my mother and sister with the details for DD1's birthday party.  MIL responded that she and FIL have plans for a concert that night and won't be able to come, and I kind of got the impression she was upset.

Should I have cleared the party with everyone before booking it?  it's not really for family, we can still do a family party, but this is really just for her friends.

I feel horrible and of course the party deposit is nonrefundable. 

LoriLee14

I would feel bad too. I did ask my mom to have one of his birthday's but it is going to be at her house (they live 4 hours away and so this year he is have two first birthday's. i hopt it doesn't stick) But i didn't ask anyone else besides my husband about the party for where we live. It is a party for little man.

Also, if it in norefundable, then just explain to them that you still want to have a small family one and ask when would be a good day. tell her that it will be calmer and she can have more time with the baby and not sharing or overstimulating him. and make sure to take lots of photos from the other party

neverblushed

Eh -- as children get older, it's natural for the birthday party to become more about the birthday kid's friends and preferences, and less oriented around a family celebration.  

Maybe the grandparents can join you for dinner on the night of DD's actual birthday, or something similar.  That way they get DD all to themselves. 

ryry1977

I did clear the date with both sets of our parents before picking the date.  But whats done is done.  I wouldn't have another party.  Maybe invite them to dinner for her birhtday dinner?

jlw2505

Nope - if this is the friends party, it is for the friends.  I never ask family about the kids friends parties.  I let them know the details as soon as its planned and then we always plan a separate time for family.  If they come, great but if not, they are not missing out.  My parents are out of town so not an issue but if the ILs come, I always stress that they don't bring the bday gift to the party and that we are celebrating at a separate time.  For DD's bday next month, we are celebrating at brunch 2 weeks before DD's party as we are getting together for my SIL's b-day which is next week and it was just easier for everyone to do all the celebrating at once.  ILs are planning to come to the party.  That will be it - any other celebrating (day of, etc) will be with just us.  We will do a dinner out on her bday or a night right around depending on our schedule.  We will celebrate with my family the weekend after her party when we are traveling to see them.  Bottom line is friends party is about the birthday child and her friends and not about the extended family.

jw87

Our families are so big we never clear it with anyone, it's the date we choose, sorry!