My DH has been mad at me for 2 days...

JNCPro3130 · February 2013

This is going to be a GREAT Valentine's Day.

slaughter182 · February 2013

Break the ice and buy him a card?

JNCPro3130 · February 2013

I did. He still didn't talk to me this morning.

Thanks though!

JNCPro3130 · February 2013

thekikimonster:
What did you do to pisss him off?

UGH... It's a long story, but he feels like I don't listen to him and that I only care about myself.

On Tuesday, he sent me an email saying he was going to talk to his boss and that if he didn't like what his boss had to say, he might quit. He asked what I thought. Well, since it took him 3 years to get into this job, I asked what he would do for work if he quit. I thought this was logical considering we can't live off my paycheck. He got upset/down because he said he's stuck and he hates his life. His boss is not a nice lady, so I understand him feeling bad/stuck in his current position. He started talking about how nothing works out for him, etc. I told him that if he wants to quit, then that's fine, but that we should at least have a plan of what we were going to do. I asked if he could talk to his boss or his boss's boss about the situation or try to make the situation better if he had to be there. He said that if he didn't have the "I'll quit" leverage, it wouldn't be worth it. I don't understand that mentality and so I got mad and said for him to quit if he wanted and I guess I would just get another job even thought I am working full time and about the work Saturday school at the school I teach. I know, I know. I did not help the situation and I did make the situation about me.

That night when he got home, we talked about it and I let him vent. He got mad at me that night for not taking my dinner vitamins and said something like "shouldn't be surprised. it's what you always do."

Yesterday was still touchy, but he did talk to his boss and I thought that was positive. However, later that day I asked him about our night time workout and he blew up at me again. He said I forgot to take my morning vitamins, I shouldn't have waited so long to ask about our workout, and then he didn't talk to me the rest of the night or this morning. We are studying for a certification. We have been studying together every night. He didn't study with me the past 2 nights.

I bought him a card and put it in his lunch bag as a surprise during the day. I wrote that I was sorry and that I loved him, etc. I know he is very stressed out about his job, so I guess that's what's going on. IDK.

sevans1975 · February 2013

thekikimonster:

I would be pissed if DH just decided he was going to quit his job because he was having a hard time. 99% of the people I know hate their jobs at some point and unless you are swimming in job opportunities, you just need to stick it out for a better day.

WTF is with your vitamin regimen? Are you suffering from a condition where these medications are super important for you or is he a controlling person?

Right...WTF with him being the vitamin police?
Almost like he is looking for something to snipe at you about to deflect from the fact that he's looking to just bail on a job with no plan. I'd be PO'd about that more than forgetting my morning and dinner vitamins and waiting "too long" to ask about working out?

JNCPro3130 · February 2013

I was mad. I do think I could have handled it better. I got sarcastic with him, but I'm frustrated too. I work full time, have worked summer jobs when I'm not teaching, and now will be teaching Saturday school (so teaching 6 days a week). I wasn't trying to throw anything in his face, but I can't do anymore than I am currently doing or I will lose my full time job due to being stretched too thin.

The vitamins are dietary supplements. They aren't cheap to buy. My DH has said that we need to take them as directed or they aren't as effective. He said I don't have to take them, but if I choose to, I need to take them correctly.I forget sometimes (especially when I'm stressed about other things).

All in all, I am trying to support him and be positive. I have been blessed to be in a job that I have had since I graduated college. My peers are great and my bosses are great. I do get crazy parents (at least one a year), but overall, I know I have a great job. I try to sympathize with him and I am working on being quiet and letting him vent rather than trying to "fix" things that really can't be fixed.

Lyssapee · February 2013

Sounds like he might be depressed, and maybe a bit immature.

BankerBSN · February 2013

O_O

bugandbibs · February 2013

Frankly OP, your dynamic with your husband worries me.

Ash61612 · February 2013

bugandbibs:
Frankly OP, your dynamic with your husband worries me.

agree. I also agree with the other poster about him being depressed and/or immature. No one in todays economy can up and quit and expect their SO to be responsible for all the bills, etc. That's not a fair partnership at all. And the whole vitamin deal? really?

robinsokj · February 2013

So, he wants to leave his job which would result in you all being unable to pay bills, yet he has you on an expensive vitamin regimen, which I would assume is all phooey?

Is he part of a cult?

robinsokj · February 2013

I mean the vitamin thing is sofa king weird. Is there cyanide in these vitamins?

Angie3030 · February 2013

I hope he puts on a smile for you for at least today. It's valentine's day, after all. My DH and I have a thing that no matter what we're fighting about, we can "put it on hold" if it's a special day or an event that we need to go to. That way we don't have to miss out on a infrequent occasions that are (in hindsight) very trivial and stupid.

In regards to the job, though, I'm going to stick up for your hubby. If he is miserable at his job, it will cause stress that will poison his physical health, mental health, friendships and even his marriage. Both me and my husband both had jobs that we hated and we left them. Granted, my husband toughed it out until he got another job offer, but twice I just up and quit. I talked to my husband about it before hand so he knew how I felt, but when it came down to it, it wasn't worth living in a stressful environment for the sake of a "nice payceck". I don't know your situation or the job market in GA, but both I and my husband had desireable skills that allowed up to find jobs very quickly (I'd never went without a job for more than 2 months).If he's truly unhappy, then support him by searching Craigslist for job openings and forwarding it to him; help him get out of his bad situation. DH and I always do this for eachother.

That said, I can understand how it would hurt if he was the breadwinner of the house. But that's why your support is so important at this time. He's obviously not getting support at work, so you gotta be there. :-)

huskymomma94 · February 2013

IT TAKES THE VITAMINS OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.

TwoSkis · February 2013

Your DH is an ass.

Twinkie0612 · February 2013

JNCPro3130:
The vitamins are dietary supplements. They aren't cheap to buy. My DH has said that we need to take them as directed or they aren't as effective. He said I don't have to take them, but if I choose to, I need to take them correctly.I forget sometimes (especially when I'm stressed about other things).

Are you not allowed to be human?

It sounds like your DH has some emotional issues that he really needs to address. Blowing up about things and not talking to you for days is not a healthy relationship. You both need to seek counseling.

Twinkie0612 · February 2013

Angie3030:
I hope he puts on a smile for you for at least today. It's valentine's day, after all. My DH and I have a thing that no matter what we're fighting about, we can "put it on hold" if it's a special day or an event that we need to go to. That way we don't have to miss out on a infrequent occasions that are (in hindsight) very trivial and stupid.
In regards to the job, though, I'm going to stick up for your hubby. If he is miserable at his job, it will cause stress that will poison his physical health, mental health, friendships and even his marriage. Both me and my husband both had jobs that we hated and we left them. Granted, my husband toughed it out until he got another job offer, but twice I just up and quit. I talked to my husband about it before hand so he knew how I felt, but when it came down to it, it wasn't worth living in a stressful environment for the sake of a "nice payceck". I don't know your situation or the job market in GA, but both I and my husband had desireable skills that allowed up to find jobs very quickly (I'd never went without a job for more than 2 months).If he's truly unhappy, then support him by searching Craigslist for job openings and forwarding it to him; help him get out of his bad situation. DH and I always do this for eachother.
That said, I can understand how it would hurt if he was the breadwinner of the house. But that's why your support is so important at this time. He's obviously not getting support at work, so you gotta be there. :-)

If he is miserable at his job, then OP's husband needs to start looking for another job. If OP and her husband need his income to get by, then it would be irresponsible to quit without having another job. OP's husband sounds immature and needs to grow up.

little_bren · February 2013

Oy with the vitamins not to mention the childishness I don't feel like addressing. GL, OP.

Angie3030 · February 2013

Couples fight. It's just what happens. Two people living in close proximity with different personalities are bound to butt heads. Just bc this person is fighting with her husband and got on the forum to rant about it doesn't mean her DH is an abusive SOB that needs to be put down like a rabbid dog. The only couples I've ever known to not fight are now divorced. They weren't willing to have a good out and out fight to stand up for what they believed in. My DH and I have gone several days without talking on numerous occassions and we've been married 7 years going strong.

Fact is, DH doesn't sound emotionally immature or childish. He's stressed and is having a fight with his wife. Can you (the general you) tell me you've honestly never snapped at your DH for something small that in hindsight really wasn't that big of a deal? LMAO. Your DH could have gone to the forums and posted about said fights and had people tell him to "drop her ass" or "get counselling cause she's not right in the head...she's a controlling freak".

Just saying.

victoria+james · February 2013

My DH hates his job too. They even passed him up for a promotion they actually promised to him. Needless to say, he's been miserable lately. Sometimes he brings his bad attitude home and when I call him on it there are days when he gets all flipped out.

Chances are your DH has a lot on his mind. He hates his job but likely has limited time to look for a new one. If he quits, he may have the time but will be under the gun to just pick something so the bills don't stack up.

When he starts talking to you again offer to help him spruce up his resume and look through job postings. He needs to know you're behind him finding a new job. Even though We know you already are...