Independent adoption? — The Bump

Independent adoption?

If anyone has any experience with independent adoption costs that would be willing to share, that would be great. We were approached with a situation today about a baby due any day. Baby's mother has health insurance, father is on board with signing, mom is not working with an agency and is not requesting any expenses. It will be a "baby born" situation and we would need to update our home study after taking custody (not sure if this is allowed in all states, but ours would allow us to take guardianship first). 

 I know adoptive parents would need a lawyer and mom would need a lawyer, and we would pay finalization fees. Are there fees that I'm missing? Has anyone completed this type of adoption that might shed light on what to expect in fees? Also, I read that in private adoptions, consent is revocable until the "decree is issued." Does that mean consent is revocable until the adoption is in several months later?

Re: Independent adoption?

  • I did independent adoption in North Carolina.  Our attorney was a flat rate, $3,500. BM's attorney was $1,500.  There were also some miscellaneous court costs/paperwork, etc.  It was very reasonable.

    I have never heard that the BPs can change their minds until you get the adoption decree.  That is definitely not the case in NC (unless the BM could prove some kind of distress when making the decision).  She signed paperwork the day after DD was born and then we had to wait 7 days.  We didn't receive her adoption decree until 3 months later, but after that 7 days, it was pretty much final.

    Good luck! 

    Married Since 09/2006, TTC Since 09/2010 
    DX: Unexplained infertility, DH normal 
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    IVF #1, ER 2/15 (5R, 4M, 4F), ET 2/18, Beta 2/29 = BFN :( 
    Follistim + IUI on 6/25 = BFN 
    Home Study Finalized 8/14/12! Profile Active - 8/17/12! 
    Officially Matched 8/29/12, Our perfect angel born 9/25/12! 
    Biggest surprise ever, unexpected BFP on 4/12/13! 

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  • Thanks, I thought that was a long revocation period also. I looked it up, and it says that private adoptions are different than agency adoptions (agency adoptions are immediately irrevocable while private adoptions were revocable until the decree issued). I guess that would be a question for the lawyer if we decided to pursue this. I'm hoping that she decides to parent and it's a moot point, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. 
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  • Revocations vary by state. Ours is 30 days with an agency, 45 days with an attorney.
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  • imageSoSweet06:
    We were approached with a situation today

    If you don't mind my asking would you mind explaining how you were approached? The reason I ask is my husband and i would like to go the similar route first but aren't quite sure how to start and how we would really get any leads. Did you just let everyone you know know about the adoption? Did you advertise? I understand if you would rather not share! Thanks!
  • Every state has different laws, so not sure what state you are in but some states they can revoke, no questions asked until the final decree and sometimes that can take up to one year.  If you don't mind sharing your state, I have a book with state by state info I can look up for you, or you can PM me if you don't want to broadcast it.  Up to you either way.  GL with your situation.  I think it sounds promising.

    Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
    Moved on to  gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15

  •  I don't mind sharing. Actually, we are in the process for international adoption. A friend approached us about someone that she knew who was interested in placing her baby for adoption. We weren't seeking out a domestic adoption, so I'm not much help (it's illegal to advertise in our state). 
  • I did a private adoption and the attorney charged around $3,000. Mine was a little different because it involved a TPR, but we had a 10 day window where it could be contested. (Since it did involve a TPR, ours would have involved another day in court with more lawyers so it would have costed more if the TPR had been contested.)

    Mother of two wonderful boys! Blessed through adoption.

  • Thanks! And congrats!!
  • We spent less than 10K, including travel and HS, on our DD1's independent adoption.  Very inexpensive! 

    Our state had a ten day waiting period for TPR and then it was irrevocable.  

    Let me know if you have any questions.  Our story was much like yours-- happened quickly! 

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
  • We privately adopted twins in the state of Alabama. Our final cost was just shy of $6k. That included our attorney's fees, court cost and home study fee. The attorney only billed half for the other twin instead of charging 2x's. Mother had 3 days to revoke after TPR was signed.
    After 3 years of infertility we were blessed with twin girls through private infant adoption.
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  • Hi, Crene84!

     I am also in NC (Raleigh area) and after a few hearbreaking years of fertility treatments, my husband and I are ready to move forward with adoption.  Any info that you could share would be greatly appreciated.

    I look forward to hearing form you.

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