In-home vs. regular daycare

Michaela2011

I live in a small town in the Midwest where there aren't a lot of daycare options. I toured an in-home daycare, where the lady is by herself most days. She is allowed up to 10 kids total and up to 3 babies under 18 months when she is there by herself. She has many years of experience, and I could tell that she really treats the kids like her own. I've also heard good things about her. However, I worry that with 10 kids by herself, someone is going to get neglected at some point or another. I'm sure with many years of experience she has learned how to manage her time, but it still worries me.

I also toured a "regular" daycare where the kids were separated by age: under 18 months, 18 months - 3 years, and so on. There were providers in each room. I got more of a "school" vibe here, where everything was structured. I also heard good things about this daycare and she has almost as much experience as the in-home provider (they are friends actually).

So, my dilemma is - do I want to have my baby be in a more home-like atmosphere and interact with older kids, or do I want her to be with just kids her own age? The provider-to-child ratio at the regular daycare is better than in-home. 

What are you all planning on doing? If you had the option between the 2, what would you pick? I am leaning towards the in-home right now, but I can't make myself commit. I've been told to follow my gut feeling, but I'm not sure what my gut is telling me as a FTM.

Thanks for any input and sorry for the long post! 

RileighsMom1224

When I put my daughter in daycare for the first time she was 15 months old.  So I went for a more educational/structured atmosphere.  I think at an infant stage an in home daycare is fine, once they get a little order they benefit more from a formal daycare.  

I was amazed with the things that she would be able to do from the education that she learned at daycare.  I no longer work, so I just have her in a MDO program 2 days a week.  Next year she will be moving to 3 to prepare for Kindergarten. 

llbta85

DS went to a center as an infant, but the classes were separated by smaller age groups (Infants 0-6 mos, 6mos - 1 year, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, etc).  I liked it for the oversight and structure.  But after the ratios increased it was awful and I ended up moving him to a proper pre-school.  FWIW, he is 4 now and has 9 children (including himself) in his class now.  I feel totally confident in his teacher's ability to maintain control over the situation and attend to each child's needs.  I would look into the ages of the children at the in-home option.  Older children don't need as much one on one care and often like to play amongst themselves, thus allowing the provider to attend to the younger children.  I would be hesitant if all the children were 2 and underm if that makes sense. This one will probably end up in a center again but as soon as she hits 2 she will go to the pre-school DS went to.

ASmallWonder

For a variety of reasons we've used many daycares in our short time - both home based and center.  I'm a big fan of home daycares but, just like centers, they aren't created equal.  I personally think 10 children of varying ages is too many for one provider.  So I myself wouldn't choose THAT home daycare.  We've used three and I can say I've adored them all.  They're less likely to get sick when it's a smaller group and I just like the atmosphere.

Our last provider moved away and because my son was just over 2 we decided that since we were forced to change, it was a good time to try a center again.  (We'd tried one when we first moved to our area and it wasn't a good fit for us).  We toured the place and I instantly had a good vibe.  He's been there now for just over 7 months and he adores it.  He learns so much and has made lots of friends.

All this is to say that any child care situation can be amazing.  You can't just draw a line and have home places on one side and centers on another.  There are pros and cons to each and the best advice I can give you is to go with your gut.  You're going to feel when a place is right for you. 

ETA:  I wanted to add that I loved him being at a home daycare when he was very young because he really learned from the older kids.  Nothing says "this broccoli won't kill you" like having 3 year olds eating it in front of your kid who wants to be just like them  But as he got older and became the older kid, there was less benefit and sometimes detriment.  (i.e. wanting to be like the babies, etc.)  HTH. 

handsonthewheel

I don't think I'd feel comfortable with just one person looking after 10 kids, especially 3 that young. The law here is no more than six children, with only 3 allowed under 5, and only 1 allowed under the age of 1. I personally would choose to go with the daycare that has more staff. I think being around older children can be beneficial but with that you have to think about what could come with it--will the older children be watching a lot of TV? will they be eating a lot of snacks like cookies and juice that you don't want your younger child to be introduced to? will they learn bullying behavior by having older kids around to snatch toys away? etc. I would prefer my child to be around other kids their age for those reasons. 

Boop213

The 1 to 10 ratio seems very high to me.  I didn't put DD into daycare until she was almost 14 months, so we chose the more structured/educational based daycare.  She went right to the mobile infants room where they slept on cots and were all on the same schedule.  I was scared at first, but we definitley made the right choice.  I love the her daycare is more of a school and the things she learns and socialization she receives is amazing.  I personally like the school based daycare and the smaller teacher/child ratio. 

sciteacher23

I agree with PP, that ratio seems high to me. I don't have the choice of in-home due to finance issues, drop off times and prox. to my work. If I did have that choice, I would probably still chose daycare. I like the structure a daycare provides and the security that they (most) are mandated by state regulations. In home can have regulations as well, but I agree with neglection being a big pill to swallow. So I guess I'm saying daycare.

jlaOK

We've used both and I prefer a daycare center with kids separated by age/development and more a school-like structure.

Michaela2011

Thanks everyone, I posted this on the Working Moms board too and they all said the same thing. 10 kids per 1 provider is more than I am comfortable with, especially 3 of them being under 18 months. I will say looking back I was in a much better mood when I came back from the daycare center than this morning when I came back from the in-home daycare. Obviously that was my gut telling me to go with the center. Being a FTM, not having family around that can help us or any friends that even have kids was making me second-guess myself. Thanks again!

MeganF722

The in-home daycare, even though she is allowed 10 kids, how many does she actually have booked with her right now?

For DD we used my SIL at first (big mistake!!!!) and when we finally got out of that horrible situation my DH was unemployed. He went back to work when DD just turned 3. We went with an in-home daycare, sounds very similar to the one you are describing. She has had years of experience, and only allowed 3 kids under a certain age. I do not remember how many she is allowed total, but I know some of her kids are only part time, one M,W,F, another T, Th.

In-home was how we decided to go because we could not afford a center. DD was only at the in-home for 3 months before she started pre-school. The local catholic school starts pre-school at 3 years old and has a fabulous program for cheaper than daycare.

Good luck with your decision.

kanga1622Wed220857

We chose an inhome provider and she generally has 8 kids during the day and up to 12 with after school kids (DH picks up about 10 minutes after the school kids get there). The older kids (DS is almost 3) entertain themselves a lot and keep each other occupied so it isn't as intense as you would think. DS spends a lot of time with his DCP but most of his stories revolve around his friends and the games they played.

 

We went with inhome care for more flexibility, stability of care providers, and a more traditional home atmosphere. I really wanted him to have the same provider from 12 weeks until school age. I wanted him to bond and feel comfortable with a single person rather than having multiple caregivers that all "disappear" from his room/daily life as he moved into a new room at daycare. We also don't require care during the summer and daycare centers would require that we pay to hold a spot which just doesn't work for us.

 

DS was a finicky baby and cried if he wasn't held, would only sleep in the swing for months, used cloth diapers, etc. Our DCP was super flexible and more open to our ways of settling DS than the daycare centers were.

 

In our state inhome providers are allowed a max of 12 kids. DH is a preschool teacher and they are required to do a 1:10 ratio. We were comfortable that our provider knew how to handle it with her experience. She is also a mom of twins so she knows how to balance the needs of multiple babies.

WhitWed

We started DD in a center for daycare. You couldn't beat the infant room care at the center (2 providers for every 4 children). Once she hit around 14mo we switched to an in-home daycare to save on costs and to save days off work because viruses spread quickly in centers.  After 3 months of that experience, we switched back to a new center recommended by co-workers and friends and have never looked back.  I was not at all impressed with our in-home experience.  The woman only had 5 children (all under 3), but DD stopped learning as quickly as she was because the kids were all at different milestones and one provider can't create a learning curve for your individual child.  So basically, to me, an in-home provider is essentially a babysitter. 

We also ended up using way more days off work at the in-home because our providers children were in school and brought all the same viruses home anyway.  Not to mention she required paid holidays, 2 weeks vacation, and 5 sick days.  If your in-home provider doesn't have a back-up, and has a lot of requested days off, be prepared to lose time off work anytime someone in her home is sick.  DD is back in a center and is already back in the groove and is learning so much more than she ever did at the in-home place.  She comes home each day and has learned a new letter or color or shape. She is just happy and you can't beat that. The pros of a center, to me, far outweighed saving a few extra dollars per month at an in-home.

Willubmine

I would personally go for an in-home ONLY IF the numbers are small and your child is around similarly aged children. Being an in-home provider myself I keep my numbers low on purpose. I am licensed for up to 6 children total and only two can be under 18 months. My own children count within my total numbers, so I can have 4 "bonus" kids. I personally do NOT want 4 bonus kids, and have a grand old time bringing in one or two.  
If I had to choose between the choices you have, I would go for a center, ONLY because 10 kids to one adult is a lot, your feelings were happier for the center, and the separation is good for the younger children.  
Good luck! 

CoffeeBeanFiend91

I'm not a fan daycare centers for infants. We had a bad experience with my nephew when my mom came to pick him up an unexpected time. So personally I would go with in home until they were old enough for an educational setting.

kimberly_ann81

Not sure what I would do in your case.  10-1 seems high to me, but I'm not a fan of daycare centers for babies.  Once they are 2 or 3 I'd find a good center but not as an infant. 

Just curious but have you tried asking friends/co-workers/family if they know anyone who is a stay-at-home mom who might watch the baby?  I didn't want DS in a daycare center when he was an infant and the in-homes I found had a large child-adult ratio.  I found a lady through my church who had DS and her two boys.  I felt much better doing it that way.  Usually these types are not certified by the state (depending on the state) and can only be found by word of mouth.

I now am a stay-at-home mom with only two additional children to watch.  We do similar things that centers do in ways of calendar, weekly themes, arts and crafts, and story time as well as an outing to the library every Thursday for Storytime. I have a fixed time for each thing so the kids know what is usually coming next.  I'm not certified and don't plan to be as I don't want to have more than 3 other children at any one time other than mine.  I feel I can give better and more one-on-one time to each child this way.  The girls I watch, we call them "Sissy".  

GraceInCA

That ratio seems very high. We have really good center-based care out here, but the ratio for infants is 2-3 infants for every adult. You get what you pay for though, and it is triple the cost of local home-based daycares.

btsrc5

10 kids by herself??  are you sure that is legal? 

We have DD in an inhome daycare.  She goes part time and none of the centers in my area allowed part time when we needed to start her.  We LOVE our dcp and it is a great fit for us.  I have many friends who swear by their centers though.  It just depends on what is best for your family. 

I got recommendations for inhome providers and then interviewed and met with them before making a decision on who to go with.  Our current DCP is actually our second one.  The first one was a disaster and after 3 days we pulled DD out.  Everything worked out really well in the end since our current DCP is so wonderful, but it was super stressful and upsetting to have to switch.  Lesson learned.  

Michaela2011

kimberly_ann81:

Just curious but have you tried asking friends/co-workers/family if they know anyone who is a stay-at-home mom who might watch the baby?  I didn't want DS in a daycare center when he was an infant and the in-homes I found had a large child-adult ratio.  I found a lady through my church who had DS and her two boys.  I felt much better doing it that way.  Usually these types are not certified by the state (depending on the state) and can only be found by word of mouth.

I did ask this, and no one was able to offer recommendations. I checked again on the DHHS website for my state and did confirm again that she can have that many. I think she is one of few people in town who will take the maximum. I think we have decided to go with the daycare center because of this. I started looking at daycares at 12 weeks and was already getting shot down by other in-home providers for being too full as of August 2013 - I think people must register before they even get pregnant! J/K. The town that I live in is pretty clique-ish so I think if you "know more people" you have a better shot, but I don't know that many people since I'm not from here.

MeghaJake

My DD was in a center from 4 months until a year old when we switched to in- home. The experiences are totally different. She always smelled like disinfectant when she came home from the center and the center itself smelled very strongly of it too. But I did like the 1 to 4 ratio and the number of people that work in a center. I knew she wouldn't be abused which was a fear of mine with in-homes that only have one provider. The center was also never closed. My in-home lady takes occasional days off and has had a couple emergencies that have been difficult for us to cover. At the center, she was cared for by young college girls who loved her. At the in-home, the woman is a loving grandmother who has been doing child care for 40 years. There are six kids from 1 to 4 at the in-home and I know there is not constant supervision when the provider needs to prepare food, go to the bathroom, change a diaper etc. That lack of constant supervision would make me nervous if I had a newborn but it doesn't bother me with an older baby. I am very pleased with the level of education my DD has received. I would have thought a center would be better for that, but my DD can count to 20, can read letters and knows the sounds they make, can dress herself, can sing several songs, can complete 20 piece puzzles, and she's potty trained at 2 and a half. I think there's a big benefit in having older kids around her. In centers, they often segregate different age groups. 

 

Can you spend some time in both the center and the in-home observing? That might give a better idea of how much time the providers will be able to devote to you baby.