Really struggling

DRB7586

I know my story is not new or unique, I'm just still in the shock phase of how this could have happened. My husband and I got pregnant right away when we started trying in December, BFP 5 days before my missed period. I had symptoms, very sore heavy breasts, cravings for grapefruit juice, hormonal roller coaster of emotions. Sunday I felt very uncomfortable, very tired, sore back, cramps just generally not feeling great but I figured, I've had days like that before, I'm pregnant. The cramping had been a common thing throughout. Monday morning I woke up and had brown discharge when I went to the bathroom, still thinking that was normal, I called my Dr and they had me come in for blood work. I went to the lab and then went to work, but when I got to work, the bleeding had become bright red. I panicked, went home, and called again. The bleeding wasn't heavy, wasn't even getting in my underwear, just when I wiped, but the cramps were getting worse. They called and said my Hcg levels were lower than what they'd like, but that it was such a broad ball park and it was still high enough to do an ultrasound so I should come in Tuesday morning when my husband could come with. Around 630 the cramps got worse, and I lost the baby. I'm not going to get more graphic than that because no one needs to be reminded if this has happened to them.

 

The follow up has been almost as bad as the event itself. The ultrasound to confirm what I knew, the misoprostol to pass the remaining clot, the pain, telling my friends and family, and the confusion about what to do next. The OB says to wait 3 months, the nurse midwife came in right after and said 1 cycle. I'm 26 and ended up having a natural miscarriage so far, is it terrible to try when we're ready? I want to have a normal period before I would consider not using protection, but 3? How can I possibly wait that long? How do you cope? Do I listen to the CNM who was on and off the phone with me all day Monday, or the OB who I just met and talked to me for 7 minutes? Does it totally depend on you?

 

I don't want advice about how to mourn the loss, I feel like my husband and I need to deal with that in our own way, but how successful are people after this? How long did you wait? How long until you felt physically normal? I'm so lost right now.

fluttergirlmoonchild79

I'm sorry for your loss.  You may want to ask this question over on the miscarriage board or the TTCAL board.  The women here have all had later term losses, still births or lost infants or children.  DH and I personally waited a year to begin TTCAL after our son became an angel because we needed time to mourn and we also wanted the separation of time.  As far as physically feeling "normal" - it's been over a year and I still don't. It is a very personal choice of when you decide to TTCAL but you do need to listen to your doctor and if you don't understand why they gave the answer you did, then ask why the time frame.

bunnybun4

fluttergirlmoonchild79:

I'm sorry for your loss.  You may want to ask this question over on the miscarriage board or the TTCAL board.  The women here have all had later term losses, still births or lost infants or children.  DH and I personally waited a year to begin TTCAL after our son became an angel because we needed time to mourn and we also wanted the separation of time.  As far as physically feeling "normal" - it's been over a year and I still don't. It is a very personal choice of when you decide to TTCAL but you do need to listen to your doctor and if you don't understand why they gave the answer you did, then ask why the time frame.

this.

and 3 months really isn't that long...my dr. is having me wait 6...some have been told to wait a year.  I would listen to your dr.