Has anyone ever terminated a pregnancy?

Fiercely

Being at our "advanced" ages, we are clearly, if not too clearly, presented with the risks of developing a fetus with chromosomal abnormalities. We are offered numerous choices of tests to determine if we are carrying a chromosomally normal child. My question is, has anyone here ever terminated a pregnancy for chromosomal reasons? A simple "yes" will do, although if you can elaborate as to the reason why I would appreciate it, as well as how you dealt with any emotions. I am not looking for judgmental responses or "no I would never terminate" answers, and I'm not trying to create any drama.

 My story is this: I am posting from an alias for privacy reasons. Last year I terminated a very much wanted pregnancy after amnio results indicated a sex chromosome abnormality. It all began when i had an NT scan measuring at 3.3 mm. It was not a life or death situation, but in fact a very grey area. It was by far the worst moment of my life, and every day I relive the experience  over and over again. While I do not regret my choice, I regret every day that  it had to happen and that we were dealt this terrible experience. I am now 9 weeks pregnant again, and I am suffering from deep anxiety as to weather this child will be healthy or not.

MT-Head

No, but in all honesty, if the genetic testing had shown a chromosomal abnormality, my DH and I probably would have made the decision to terminate.

I wish you the best with your current pregnancy and hope all your news is good.

AZAmy77

No, but I was worried about chromosomal abnormalities when our screening came out high.

BabyCenter has many board with people dealing with these issues that may help you.

danieleandwayne

I have not terminated for a chromosomal abnormality, but if my MaterniT21 had come back positive for the two fatal trisomies, I would have terminated. I would NOT have terminated for Down's Syndrome.

I have, however, terminated a pregnancy back when I was in mid 20s with no knowledge of any chromosomal abnormalities and no reason to believe there would be any. I will say that there is pretty much not one day that goes by that I don't think about that decision-- and while I still believe it was the right decision, it is not a decision that I will ever be 100% comfortable with or reach a point where I have zero regret about it.

I don't know how old you are (I'm 38), but the odds of having chromosomal abnormalities is only slightly increased until you get over the 40-42 mark and even then, it's still not a huge probability. Hopefully, you won't have to make this decision again, but I hope that whatever you decide (if it comes to it) that you are at peace with the choice so that you don't suffer any more than the expected disappointment that comes with getting a raw/unlucky deal.

Prlmommy

No, but I wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss and I understand what you're going through as I had a somewhat similar situation years ago. Not due to chromosomal abnormalities. I don't wish to elaborate but I understand how you feel and I'm so very sorry. My heart goes out to you and I wish you nothing but luck with this pregnancy. 

lovelyday39

I don't have any experience with what you're asking, but wanted to wish you congratulations and a healthy pregnancy with this LO!

letzgoracing81

I was carrying twins at the beginning of my pregnancy.  My baby girl came back T-18.  We lost her before terminating....but we had made the painful decision to go through with the termination.

People can judge all they want.  It is a painful difficult decision and a very private one.  

mrsjami

We lost our last baby to T18 and found out at the amnio. We never had to make the choice bc baby made it for us. It was devastating, I hope this will be a healthy pg for you. We opted for the CVS and feel it was the best decision given the history.

cojourney24

Yes. We TFMR last april for a gray area at 26 weeks. The baby had a very rare (less than 1 in 100,000) heart problem. The head of peds cardiology had never even heard of this being an issue for a fetus. It was very unclear if blood was being circulated well enough to continue normal brain development. It was also very unclear what would be the course of action if the baby made it to delivery.We made the heartbreaking choice.

I am 34 weeks in this pregnancy and it has been emotional and a bit stressful. Our situation was random and not genetic. SO the fear that it could happen at any time is always with me. I also worry about the other million horrible things that can wrong. 

As a pp mentioned, baby center has some great support boards for TFMR and Expecting after TFMR. 

numinous

I have not had your experience but I am going in for testing next week I'm at 11 weeks tomorrow and would term if testing showed a trisomy. I think it would be very painful but as my husband does not want to be father at all, then having a baby w one of the trisomy would be...well, this is hard enough right now. I really hope you have a healthy pregnancy and never have to make such a hard decision.
I think therapy could really help you through the trauma of having to make such a decision last year you have accepted your decision and know it was the right one for you, but it sounds like you still have daily intrusive thoughts about it and I truly believe more peace of mind could be found with a good therapist. I'm seeing one right now to help me with the stuff about my husband and it has really helped me make good decisions and feel ok about whatever decisions i might need to make. Good luck!!!

jglenn4

MT-Head:

No, but in all honesty, if the genetic testing had shown a chromosomal abnormality, my DH and I probably would have made the decision to terminate.

I wish you the best with your current pregnancy and hope all your news is good.

This.  Good luck and here's hoping you have a healthy and happy pregnancy. 

JenBee74

No, but I am 38 and we only plan on having one child so we made the decision that if our CVS results had showed Trisomy or Down's we would have terminated. I was very concerned because of my age that there might be a problem. My midwife told me to believe in the health of my baby and to not worry as "worry is praying for what you don't want to happen to happen". Easier said than done. I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy and a big sigh of relief when your test results come back clear!

fritz799

Yep.  Us too.  Getting the MaterniT21 results back was the first time I could breathe a sigh of relief.  Knowingly carrying a baby with a chromosomal abnormality is not a choice I'm willing to make for my family. 

jglenn4:

MT-Head:

No, but in all honesty, if the genetic testing had shown a chromosomal abnormality, my DH and I probably would have made the decision to terminate.

I wish you the best with your current pregnancy and hope all your news is good.

This.  Good luck and here's hoping you have a healthy and happy pregnancy. 

ocho2002

We were scheduled to terminate due to T13 but when we arrived for the appointment the heart had already stopped. I always said I never would, but when faced with the reality, our opinions changed.

lemondog

What a brave post!  I appreciate your honesty and can certainly understand your concerns the second time around.  My husband and I had quite a few discussions about what would happen if there was a chromosomal abnormality found.  We ultimately decided that we would terminate if something was found.  We have been lucky that so far all tests have come back normal (I'm just about 19 weeks).

This decision is so very personal and only you and your partner can make a choice that feels right for your family.  At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong....just making the best decision you can with the information you have.  I wish you luck for a healthy and happy pregnancy!

stacy&seth

I haven't, but I was worried this pregnancy as I'm now 37 that all sorts of things would/will happen.  My OB told me to relax and that just because of your age a switch isn't flipped that makes your odds of abnormalities increase.  Deep breaths and know that most babies are born perfectly healthy!