Anyone battle with depression?

kimberm0511

Not to be a big Debbie downer over here, but I just wanted some advice.  I know that IF can obviously cause you to be depressed.  But what do you do when everything else in your life isn't going too great either?  Part of me can look and see that I don't have it that bad...considering there are plenty of people out there that has it much worse than I do.  But the other part of me just can't see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I had a little bout of depression in my early 20s after I married my first husband and was put on some medications that were awful.  I can't stand medication and would never want to take it again.  I just don't know what to do.  I am far from suicidal, but am also far from being happy.  I feel like a terrible wife and a terrible mom because of my internal issues.  Any advice?  Do I really need some sort of therapy?  Can I get through this on my own instead?

Lauren79

I do not battle depression but my sister-in-law and some other family members do on my husbands side of the family.  I think maybe talking to a therapist might help and then you can go from there?  Talking to someone outside your circle may help you come up with some answers.  

I hope you feel better soon. 

gmc222

First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this.I've dealt with depression for many years, and had taken meds for about 12 years. Sometimes medication is necessary, but I've currently been off for about a year and am doing ok. Seeing a therapist has helped me in the past so I think it is definitely worth a try.

Just know that its nothing you are doing wrong and you're not a bad person! I hope you can find some relief soon.

M&MD

I definitely understand where you're coming from and, depending where you live, winter can make it so much worse. Therapy will definitely help, but I think the best thing for you to do would be to lean on your "support system". I seem to shut everyone out when I get depressed and it only sends me in to a deeper hole. Force yourself out or have people over. If your looking to know you're not alone, we are all pretty much in the same boat.

tryingyetagain

I have battled depression on and off my entire life, but the last year has been worse.  I do attribute a lot of that to not being able to take a pregnancy to term, and the sadness and frustration that has come along with it.  I absolutely agree with PP about it being worse in winters.  I think it's the short days and lack of sunlight, together with feeling holed up in the house because of the cold.

I have tried medication before and it was okay but some of the side effects made it not worth it for me.  I have also talked to a therapist at times over the years, and found that helpful and cathartic, but it's pricey.  I also have to remind myself of the things in my life that are good, and focus on them.  And I also agreed with the PP who said it helps to force yourself to be social.  I feel very anti-social when I'm depressed, but meeting up with friends or family really does make me feel better.  The hard part is forcing myself to do it.

I'm sorry you are going through that.  Feel free to PM me anytime you need, if you are having a rough day or just need to blow off some steam!

kimberm0511

Thanks for the replies. I guess I probably need to look into therapy. It just sucks because we have spent so much money on treatments...the last thing I want to do is spend money on that! Being more social would probably be good. I've been so antisocial lately and have even found myself ignoring certain friends. However, the last time I forced myself to go out was on superbowl Sunday and the friend that was hosting is newly pregnant. Every single friend is pregnant or has a baby. I only have one friend that isn't. That is no exaggeration! I really need to get over that I guess.

suzie711

I have battled depression off and on since my early 20s.  It's been at it's worst while TTC both times.  I was on meds and they helped IMMENSELY the first time I was struggling. (You can always look into different meds since you didn't like what you were on before .. there are so many, and some work well for 1 person and not another)

  If you don't want meds I would suggest talking to a counselor (maybe see if you can find one that specializes in fertility). 

I started seeing a counselor last summer when we knew we were going to be starting fertility treatments soon and I was really unhappy and struggling.  I am still not 'happy' but it definitely has helped to talk to someone about my problems (I have had a lot of other things happen in addition to the fertility problems the past couple years).  If I don't feel better eventually I will probably look into getting back on some antidepressants, but for now I'm staying off of them in hopes I will be pregnant soon and I don't want to be on them while TTC.  HTH.  Big hugs, you aren't alone!

AprilDrew04

I had been starting to feel depressed last summer.  We had several failed attempts at IUI (didn't even get to the procedure), too long cycles, too short cycles...then DH had a few grand mall seizures.  That pushed me over the edge.  I thought about talking to a counselor, but was hesitant to talk to someone as I wanted a counselor who understood the difficulties of IF.

Ultimately, I went to my RE and had her prescribe me Zoloft.  I researched first and found that there are a few antidepressants that are considered safe during early pregnancy.  I'm on a fairly low dose and it seems to have helped.  My RE said I could take it until I was pregnant and then go off it in the 1st trimester.

I can talk to friends and family...I even have a friend who has both primary and secondary infertility.  So she understands my feelings and frustrations.  That also helps a lot.