Babies on the Brain

How did your H feel about TTC?

I feel like overall my H has been so neutral on the baby front. He keeps saying that we can financially do it and that it's my body and if I'm ready, he's ready, but I kind of want more excitement about it! I don't want to feel like the only one who is jumping up and down to have kids.

 

How did your H react/approach the TTC talk? 

Married 5.15.2010

Re: How did your H feel about TTC?

  • We are giddy and super excited to be sharing this journey together. When we had the intial talk to go over BCP we couldn't stop smiling.

    Married 11/21/2018

    Me: 33 / DH: 33

    TTC #1 since 2012, finally successful in 2016

    BFP 11/29/2013 - EDD 8/9/2014 - MMC 12/31/2013 8 weeks 2 days - Tried to MC naturally for 4 weeks, D&C 2/2/2014

    IUI 01/25/2016 - BFP 2/5/2016 - Natural Home Delivery to our DD 10/8/2016

    IUD removed 10/3/2018 

    Ready to TTC for #2

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  • This is how my DH reacts to just about everything. He never gets "excited", he stays very logical and objective. Its his way of not getting his hopes up if something doesnt work out. When we got the call from our realtor saying that we had bought our first house, his reaction was "Ok, thanks." Not even a smile, lol. Mr. Calm and Collected. But I know him well enought to understand that he IS excited, so I do all the jumping up and down. Good Luck to you!
  • Kinda the same way as your H. He is the most amazing father so the fact that he didn't do cartwheels about TTC doesn't bother me.
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  • My H is the opposite. He is ridiculously excited and ready to have another NOW, while I am more reserved and think analytically about the possible issues with having another baby right now.

    I, like your husband I am sure, will be excited once I am actually pregnant and see the ultrasound.
  • DH is definitely not jumping up and down with excitement like I am and I don't really expect him to be. I think that as long as he is telling you he is ready to have a baby, his excitement will come with time!
  • he's the one who is all into it.
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  • My husband was ready to TTC before I was, he's been naming our future children since before we were married.  I think he was excited when I was finally ready, but there was definitely no jumping up and down.  He showed his excitement by talking more about children and being parents.

    ETA: fixed typo

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    TTC #1 since August 2011

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    September 2012: Start IF testing

    DH (32): SA is ok, slightly low morph, normal SCSA  Me (32): Slightly low progesterone, hostile CM, carrier for CF, Moderately high NKC, High TNFa, heterozyogous mutated Factor XIII, and +APA

    October 2012-May 2014: 4 failed IUIs, 3 failed IVFs, and 1 failed FETw/donor embryos

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    January 2015: FET #2 Cancelled due to lining issues

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  • I think I'm expecting more out of him because he generally gets excited about things, and he gets excited about talking about our future kids, just not the baby part. I know he'll be a great dad, I just don't think he won't be that into babies until it's his own. Thanks for the input though! If I asked my sister she'd assume I was pregnant right now lol.
    Married 5.15.2010
  • imagefredalina:
    Guys tend not to get excited until it becomes "real" to them, at least seeing a positive HPT if not an ultrasound or even the birth itself.

    my H wasn't into it until he saw the ultrasound and the HB... not even the digi I took that popped up "pregnant" got him overly excited...  

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  • imageslaughter182:
    I think I'm expecting more out of him because he generally gets excited about things, and he gets excited about talking about our future kids, just not the baby part. I know he'll be a great dad, I just don't think he won't be that into babies until it's his own. Thanks for the input though! If I asked my sister she'd assume I was pregnant right now lol.

    My H thought he wouldn't like the newborn stage. He was really excited about being a dad but worried about that part if life. He ended up being fantastic at it and now admits he liked it way more than he thought.
  • He knew I wanted to try and that I would wait for him to be ready. He stopped using condoms and said he was ready. No jumping up and down. I think the most excitement came after our anatomy scan when we finally did conceive, and much more after birth.
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  • Every time my H and I talk about it, he's giddy as can be. I just went off the pill, and although we aren't TTC quiet yet, he can't wait till we are. Sometimes, when we talk about it, he just starts laughing like an excited school girl...its kind of cute :)
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  • This time it was more him than me.  I was hopeless.  He was all into it being the positive one.  
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  • imagefredalina:
    imageweelass24:
    he's the one who is all into it.
    Hold the phone. This appears to be present tense??????

    oh helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll no

    I'm firmly in the "no more ever" camp and he is hovering between "no more right now" and "no more ever".

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  • imagefredalina:
    Guys tend not to get excited until it becomes "real" to them, at least seeing a positive HPT if not an ultrasound or even the birth itself.

    This.  DH and I talked about TTC and he was on board but by no means jumping up and down.  Then when I got a BFP he was excited but still not really that into it.  It was at the first u/s with DS that he got this ridiculous grin on his face and was very excited.

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  • I never got any excitement about it.  We talked about it, and I gave him my reasons for why I thought the timing was right.  One day soon after our talk, he said, "ok" and that was that.  He was never jump-up-and-down excited about it.  He wasn't unhappy or opposed to having a baby, it just wasn't something he was that in to.  If I had waited for that reaction, we would probably never have kids.  Most men I know were never that excited about it.

    He's a great father, though, and that's all that really matters.



  • imageMandJS:

    imagefredalina:
    Guys tend not to get excited until it becomes "real" to them, at least seeing a positive HPT if not an ultrasound or even the birth itself.

    This has been my experience as well.

    OP - if your H says he's on board, then trust that he's telling you the truth. If you're ready, go for it. 

    even having seen the ultrasound last week it's still not completely real to him. 


    R&K married 4.15.11. TTC #1 since 7.11.12

    BFP #1 9.9.12 EDD 5.21.13 c/p 9.12.12 at 4 weeks 1 day

    BFP #2 10.15.12 EDD 6.28.13 c/p 10.19.12 at  4 weeks.

    BFP #3 1.19.13 EDD 10.1.13 Eleanor born 10.7.13 at 40 weeks 6 days

    13dpo hcg@32, progesterone@13.7, 15dpo hcg@110, 16dpo progesterone@25.9



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  • imagequidditchcapn1120:
    My H is the opposite. He is ridiculously excited and ready to have another NOW, while I am more reserved and think analytically about the possible issues with having another baby right now. I, like your husband I am sure, will be excited once I am actually pregnant and see the ultrasound.

    This is us as well.  He was all about OPKs and knowing when my period was.

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  • I wouldn't say DH was excited about TTC. He wanted to, obviously, but I think to him it was more like "okay cool, this is what we're doing now." I dont think the pregnancy really felt real to him until our A/S, and it helped when he could feel the baby kicking and moving.

    Now, however, he's made a couple comments about TTC#2 so I can tell its on his mind.



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  • H said that if I was ready, then he was, too. He didn't get all excited or anything about it when we talked, though he does like to discuss our future children and what we'll do with them, etc. The only part he really got excited about was the prospect of my breasts swelling with the pregnancy, lol!
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  • imagehuskymomma94:

    I wouldn't say DH was excited about TTC. He wanted to, obviously, but I think to him it was more like "okay cool, this is what we're doing now." I dont think the pregnancy really felt real to him until our A/S, and it helped when he could feel the baby kicking and moving.

    Now, however, he's made a couple comments about TTC#2 so I can tell its on his mind.

    This, exactly!!! My DH has also made a few remarks about TTC#2, and I've totally had BOTB, but I had a bad recovery from an unexpected C-sec (had to have a 2nd corrective surgery at 14 wks postpartum and incision wasnt healed until 20 weeks postpartum), so we need to wait a bit more for my body to be ready. As well as figure out how we can afford a 2nd! lol!  

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  • imagepmarie33:
    This time it was more him than me.  I was hopeless.  He was all into it being the positive one.  

    P! Congratulations, you sneak!! Hope you're doing well! 

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  • I could see him getting excited over the BFP. I guess we'll have to wait until the fall and see!

    Married 5.15.2010
  • DH was ready long before I was. He will literally most likely cry when I tell him I am pregnant (when and if), and he refers to our non-existent baby by the name we like. That sounds beyond dorky, but DH is a very masculine and a large guy so it makes it super sweet.

    Me: 29 / Hubster: 31
    Married July 2010
    DC #1 Oct 2013
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  • imagelaurenmae1228:
    imagehuskymomma94:

    I wouldn't say DH was excited about TTC. He wanted to, obviously, but I think to him it was more like "okay cool, this is what we're doing now." I dont think the pregnancy really felt real to him until our A/S, and it helped when he could feel the baby kicking and moving.

    Now, however, he's made a couple comments about TTC#2 so I can tell its on his mind.

    This, exactly!!! My DH has also made a few remarks about TTC#2, and I've totally had BOTB, but I had a bad recovery from an unexpected C-sec (had to have a 2nd corrective surgery at 14 wks postpartum and incision wasnt healed until 20 weeks postpartum), so we need to wait a bit more for my body to be ready. As well as figure out how we can afford a 2nd! lol!  

    You are really close to me (I'm in Annapolis) and I see our babies are almost exactly the same age! 



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  • With DD we were all giddy at first, then as we had been trying for months and months and had a loss then more months then IF treatments we started to get a bit sad about the whole thing.  It was a bummer until we finally conceived our daughter (IVF/ICSI).  So early on he was excited, then it just became frustrating and clouded the whole experience.

    DS was a surprise.  We weren't trying but weren't preventing either since DD was such a challenge. 

    He now has major baby fever and is so so so ready to TTC #3.  I'm getting there, but don't want to even think about it until June or July.  So he is the one who is always talking about babies and I am the one moving to the other side of the couch.  Stick out tongue

    Married 6/28/03

    Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10

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    No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.

    "Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens

     

  • My hubs says he's ready to start but he can't get excited until We are actually pregnant. That's his personality though. He doesn't get his hopes up or get excited about anything until its for certain. 
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