Help with post high school plan discussion

socloudy99

SD17 is a junior in high school so it is time to look into her post high school plans.

So far SD and BM have talked to a local member of the Air National Guard. This is the only option they are looking at and seem ready to sign on the dotted line soon. We will go meet with a recruiter soon but don't want her to sign up yet. She will be commiting to 8 years and BM/SD seem to think she will just sit in our home state collecting a check and going to college for free.

When DH says he wants to look at several options so she can make an informed choice (community college, technical schools) they say he isn't supportive and this is the best option. They haven't looked into any other options. BM is extremely against SD having any school loans.

I know SD will be an adult soon and can choose for herself but DH and I still think it is important we help her navigate through all her options. Any advise on talking points to get them to agree to some school tours and holding off on singing up with the Air National Guard till we do this? They also have been told that if she signs up and changes her mind after basic training she can just opt out which sounds like total bs to me. Any suggestions will be helpful!

FutureMrsWittig

At that age, I wouldn't have listened to anyone telling me to look into other options either.  Can you go with her instead to talk to the recruiter.  Ask them to explain the "opting out" option to you, because I agree that sounds like BS.

Time to let her make her own mistakes.  Hopefully this won't be one and it will turn out well for her.

Samiantha101

Why doesn't your husband take her on a few tours of different colleges?

I personally think the guard is a great choice for somebody out of high school who isn't sure what they want to do with their lives yet. I am swimming in debt from college loans, and if I could do it all over again, I may have taken the guard route. Of course, it's not for everybody. My husband is 17 years into his service with being active duty Air Force. There are benefits and disadvantages.

As for her being able to to resign after basic, well, there are ways. There's a separation called Failure to Adapt. It's not honorable or dishonorable. Essentially, it would be like she never joined. Of course, I don't believe this actually happens afterwards, but during. She should check with her recruiter. Why don't you and your husband go with her to her recruiter's office? If you think she hasn't been asking the hard questions, ask them yourselves.

socloudy99

Neither of us are against the Air National Guard we just want her to make an informed choice with all the options out there.

We are going with them to the recruiter to get more information the concern is they are saying they want to sign up that day.

She does want to go to college for criminal justice. DH wants to take her to our community college and she has already been to one technical school that she really liked. What we don't want to do is her commit to the Air National Guard and her change her mind once she has commited herself. This is a huge commitment which might be the right one for her. But she thinks it is easy money, easy college education, and she will be able to come and go as she pleases. I don't believe that to be the case. Orders are orders.

SimpleJane

As someone who's ex husband was in the guard, and who's BF was, I can tell you they both were deployed multiple times while trying to finish school. They got school paid for, but it took them much longer to finish due to deployments.

dawnm975

Meeting with the recuiter might make SD aware of the rules/restrictions the Air National Guard has.  It may get more in depth than what she has heard already.  As a junior that seems young to already sign up.  Maybe ask if she would be willing to NOT sign yet.....Technical colleges offer terrific criminal justice programs and if working students can be debt free when graduating.

 Teens are so hard (my SD is 16) - offer support, take her to some tours, be open to the Guard, and it will be her choice to make.

LilyLove29

Hello! I'm a lurker here, and usually stick to my BMB but your post caught my attention and I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I put my 2 cents in...

What exactly does she want to do with her CJ degree? Does she want to go law enforcement or do something like CSI? The reason I ask is that, while every state is different, that CJ degree may not hold weight without experience. I have my CCJ Masters, and was a police officer in a major city for 4 years and a crime scene investigator for 1 year. I'd have never left except that I married a military man and live in a different state and am now a private investigator doing fraud investigations and special investigations.

I thought I was going to be a criminal profiler straight out of school and man did reality hit me hard. CJ degrees are popular now and the job market is over saturated. While most police departments require college work, some of it can be done while you are working too. Some departments have you take a course through a tech school before you can even apply, or like mine, they did all of their own training, so being 21 and accepted, they put you through 5 months of training and 3 months of field training, and you ended up being able to count it as almost 30 college credit hours.

Having lived in 3 states now, I have seen a lot of differences between places, but the thing that has been consistent so far is that Military Policing does not count as police experience because it is not the same as being a street cop, though being around military people all the time, I know they would not agree, so recruiters may tell her it will be year for year experience, and also, she will need experience and not just a degree to do a super fun, albeit dangerous, job that does not pay very well.

Sorry this is so long. My point is that she needs to do a lot of research. It's great that she is talking to schools and military options, because I know my student loans are no fun to pay, but she needs to make calls to people doing the exact dream jobs that she is considering. Most are very helpful to young aspiring people, and will give her realistic goals she needs to get the jobs she wants. I did not do enough when I was in high school or even college and wish I had. I have worked very hard to get to do the things that I have loved, but knowing what I do now, I would have studied chemistry instead of CJ so that I would havr the hard science background that the CSI field currently wants.

Sorry for typos, I'm mobile. But feel free to PM me if you have any questions or are looking for direction for her.

Nineoceans

My FIL used to say "if it was easy everyone would have done it." I think that's true about college, technical school or the military.

The only thing Id remind her is it is a 4 year commitment. Not like college where you can change your major or switch schools. You're in it wherever they want to send you and whatever they want you to do. It's not just going to school and collecting a check.

I know a lot of my cousins who joined the military are frustrated that they can't just start their lives, move where they want, start the career they love but that's what a 4 year commitment does. There are definitely rewards. Dh is a veteran and can attest to it, but no definitely not the easy answer by any means