sleeping advice... desperate for help

shawnjs

We are losing are minds.  I am 36 weeks expecting baby number 2 and our 2 year old is a very difficult sleeper.  She falls asleep great in her crib (which is in a loft outside our bedroom).  We are in the process of building an extra room so she will eventually have her own room.  About 11 pm to 12 am she awakes crying, screaming for us.  We made the mistake a long time ago by letting her in our bed and now she will scream for 30 minutes (the longest I could take it) to get into our bed.  Once she is in there she doesn't sleep well... tossing, turning, waking up asking for milk and water.  We are not sleeping at all.  I just don't know what to do.

If she slept great in our bed we would throw the towel in and let her sleep with us. Sometimes she sleeps ok, but usually she is up a couple of times a night.  

 Do I let her cry it out???? Is she too old for that?

 Please help.  I have called friends and they just empathize...

 

Squirrel29

My DS1 was the same way around that age.  We eventually moved him to a bed (a full size mattress on the floor) and that solved the problem.  He was apparently just done with the crib. GL!

TiffanyBerry

What about a floor bed in your room?  Then, she's not in bed with you, but she's close enough that if she's scared when she's waking up, you're still nearby.

Is she waking due to a wet diaper or need to pee?  Thirsty?  Have you tried leaving a cup/sippy/whatever of water in her room?  Is it too cold?  Too warm?  Too dark?  Scary shadows?  Bad/confusing dreams?  (<-- this is definitely something that causes my daughter to wake up calling for me, even though I usually sleep right next to her!) 

shawnjs

TiffanyBerry:

What about a floor bed in your room?  Then, she's not in bed with you, but she's close enough that if she's scared when she's waking up, you're still nearby.

Is she waking due to a wet diaper or need to pee?  Thirsty?  Have you tried leaving a cup/sippy/whatever of water in her room?  Is it too cold?  Too warm?  Too dark?  Scary shadows?  Bad/confusing dreams?  (<-- this is definitely something that causes my daughter to wake up calling for me, even though I usually sleep right next to her!) 

Great questions!  I have thought it was too cold and placed a warmer near her bed. We have tried water, milk... She is not having night terrors- she has had these at times, but still waking up through the night.  

Last night was a little better.  We pulled her into bed at 12 am and she only woke up once.  I guess it comes down to this... How bad is it to let her cry it out? 

shawnjs

TiffanyBerry:

What about a floor bed in your room?  Then, she's not in bed with you, but she's close enough that if she's scared when she's waking up, you're still nearby.

Is she waking due to a wet diaper or need to pee?  Thirsty?  Have you tried leaving a cup/sippy/whatever of water in her room?  Is it too cold?  Too warm?  Too dark?  Scary shadows?  Bad/confusing dreams?  (<-- this is definitely something that causes my daughter to wake up calling for me, even though I usually sleep right next to her!) 

Great questions!  I have thought it was too cold and placed a warmer near her bed. We have tried water, milk... She is not having night terrors- she has had these at times, but still waking up through the night.  

Last night was a little better.  We pulled her into bed at 12 am and she only woke up once.  I guess it comes down to this... How bad is it to let her cry it out? 

mittensonkittens

I would let her cry. I'm not a fan of CIO for young babies, but toddlers are completely different. When my oldest was that age, we sat in his room while he fell asleep. It took a long time to break him of that, and I think we ended up letting him cry in the end. Now that DS2 is 2 and I'm pregnant, I'm not going to play those games. He cries when we leave the room at night, but only for about 2 minutes. Once he stops crying he'll sometimes lay there and talk to his animals until he falls asleep. He doesn't sound traumatized by the experience.

AmericanInOz

I think at this age you can't really do a full CIO - if they are old enough to understand you have to go in at least once to explain what the deal is

my dd goes through stages, and we remain strong with our rules, then she goes back to being a good sleeper

I did the whole sleeping with me (in the spare bed) thing she she's sick - it works fine, but as soon as she starts feeling better NO ONE sleeps - she tosses & turns & wants to chat in the middle of the night

to get her to sleep back in her own bed I explain to her, before bed, that tonight she will sleep in her own bed and Mama will sleep in Mama's bed

when she wakes in the night, I'll go in after a few mintues to see if she's ok, ask her if she needs anything (stuffed toy, blanket) then tell her it's time for sleep, I'm going back to my own bed - you sleep in yours too, then close the door

we give it 10 mintues before we'll go back in, and repeat the process

after a tough night 1, she gets better and after a few nights will STTN again

last night she woke at 11, I went in, asked what was wrong - she said she couldn't find her bunny - I found it, told her to lay down, put the blanket back over her and she went back to sleep

it's all habit and getting the to understand that they must sleep where you say and that's that - no more sleeping in Mommy's bed

good to get this fixed now before your new dc comes! GL - as far as I'm concerned any bad habit can be fixed in a couple of days, we've done it MANY times with dd