Can someone help talk me down?

tiffmatt

My son is 16weeks old. In the past 36 hours he has only been out of my arms for 2 hours and I'm at my wits end.
I'm a SAHM so I'm use to holding him a lot. Tbh, I'd often hold him though his naps bc he falls asleep nursing and quite frankly bc I'm able to. I'd also typically let him bed share after 4 to 5am. I would still be able to put him in the swing/bounce/whatever for a stretch here and there to do laundry or the dishes. Maybe an hour in the RnP so I would eat. But the past few days he needs to be not only in my arms but at the breast nonstop.
For the past two nights I've not been able to put him down. He doesn't seem to get into a deep enough sleep for it. He's been napping much if the day but only in my arms and often at the breast.
I am not sure if its teething, wonder weeks, growth spurt or if I'm using those reasons as an excuse. I'm going crazy that he ends up screaming any time I put him down. This means that he's screaming if I have to go to the bathroom or do something silly like get food.
I know babies have phases and often are needier at times but I'm worried I'll lose my mind. I've been lurking on his board bc I want to give my son the most loving nurturing life I can but now I'm worried I'll lose myself in the process.

Any words of wisdom? And to those kind enough to stick through my long rambling post you are super mommies and you're my heroes right now.

katncrack

I'm wondering if you have an ergo or another carrier so your arms aren't tired out and you can eat while holding etc. My only suggestion would be to keep trying those things you used, swing, pnp etc. It is sure to change at some point. It is probably easier to just think of this as a phase and know you just need to get through this tough spot to get to the brighter ones. Mine is a toddler now, but as a baby she slept very little and I had a hard time. Hugs.

BelhurstBride

It sounds like it could be the 4 month wakeful and it can be a particularly trying time. Do you have a baby carrier you could utilize in order to give your arms a break?

Keep in mind that it's just a phase and will pass. You can do it, mama! 

tiffmatt

Doesn't the 4month wakeful entail an awake baby? Past two days he's just wanted to sleep and nurse. If I try to put him down he freaks out. I am lucky if I get an hour a day he's happy and awake. He has little to no interest in the world around him. He just wants to use mommy as a human pacifier 247.

bugsmami

tiffmatt:

Doesn't the 4month wakeful entail an awake baby? Past two days he's just wanted to sleep and nurse. If I try to put him down he freaks out. I am lucky if I get an hour a day he's happy and awake. He has little to no interest in the world around him. He just wants to use mommy as a human pacifier 247.

Not necessarily. For my first, yes, every dev./growth spurt would mean no sleep usually followed by a few days of increased sleep. My second while he still has multiple night wakings, actually sleeps more during dev./growth spurts. Teething, too, tends to turn me into a human pacifier.

katncrack

tiffmatt:

Doesn't the 4month wakeful entail an awake baby? Past two days he's just wanted to sleep and nurse. If I try to put him down he freaks out. I am lucky if I get an hour a day he's happy and awake. He has little to no interest in the world around him. He just wants to use mommy as a human pacifier 247.

I thinks at 16 weeks anything goes and he surely does see you as a human pacifier, you are his comfort and him being attached is a great thing. I think you need to try to take care of you. Put him down, let him yell for a minute if you need to eat etc. A few minutes is ok. Put finger foods in your house, string cheese, squeeze yogurt etc. So you can snack and be healthy. I remember how tired I was and it was painful. Baby was fine, but I needed to take care of me.

BelhurstBride

tiffmatt:

Doesn't the 4month wakeful entail an awake baby? Past two days he's just wanted to sleep and nurse. If I try to put him down he freaks out. I am lucky if I get an hour a day he's happy and awake. He has little to no interest in the world around him. He just wants to use mommy as a human pacifier 247.

Not for DD. She was cranky, wanted to be held and wanted to nurse non stop.

We didn't truly hit a wakeful phase until 11 months. She'd be up in the middle of the night just wanting to play.  

RoryorHenry?

My baby was 16 weeks yesterday and she is going through a needy phase. Can you nurse to sleep in bed? That may be a way to get a nap without being in your arms. It works for us. I stay in bed until she is deep asleep then get up and usually get about 30 minutes begore she wakes.

I also second the ergo/sling. I probably shouldn't admit it but I've often gone to the bathroom wearing dd. I've also started nursing in the ergo and I've been able to pick up, cook, do dishes with her in the sling.

Good luck!

Izybel18

It depends on the size of your LO, but around 4 months I realized I could put my DD in a back carry in the Ergo. Changed my life! She still takes a lot of naps that way. When she's particularly cranky it works even if she's not napping. 

The fourth month was definitely the hardest for us, day and night. DD stopped sleeping in her swing and we went to full time bedsharing and Ergo naps. Treat this time the same way you would the first few weeks at home, as survival mode, and do whatever you have to in order to get through it. 

cpmich

Some kids, particularly those who have been described as unusually alert early, hit separation anxiety as early as 3 to 4 months. Other kids typically hit it closer to 9 months. It is a rough time for mom but it passes. I highly recommend a sling or Ergo. Just keep reminding yourself that when you hit the teenage years you will wish you could keep them safe and close. These days are really fleeting. My 2 year old who could not be put down during separation anxiety now has zero interest in being carried... He just wants to be independent and explore.

cpmich

Also there is a 4 month growth spurt AND the 4 month wakeful AND highly likely also teething...

Hang in there!

nosoup4u

Probably a growth spurt? Do you co-sleep with him? If you can lay down and nurse him, that might help. It's always worked with my kids when they were babies and wanted to be close to me.

Can DH or your partner take over bedtime and give you a break? Your baby might not like it, but it sounds like it's pretty necessary at this point. Hang in there!