Single Parents
well.... I guess I'll just wait and see now...
So if you didnt read my other post, I'm in this really messy situation right now. My baby's father is
engaged to another woman, and neither one of them know about the baby
but today I told the fiance that we had sex, and she was totally like "you're
lying, that can't be true, you're just jealous" and all that ***. I
told her that he cheated on her, and that's all I really needed to do,
right? I guess I'll just wait and see what she decides to do about it....
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Re: well.... I guess I'll just wait and see now...
Well I guess you dont really have to wait until second trimester to tell him b/c Im sure she has told him the news. Her response is kind of a defensive, I dont know what else to say response. I think many women would possibly say that. I dont know your entire situation like is this woman a friend of yours through him or you know her only b/c hes with her? It doesnt really matter. But I guess my advice is similar to the response before mine, take care of yourself and the baby.. Time will tell.
But I think its unnecessary (IN MY OPINION) to communicate with his fiance. I dont think that serves any purpose. You should communicate with him.. But maybe give it time..
Just remember your baby feels everything you feel so sadness (hard to avoid), fighting ,drama is not good. Im in a shitty situation and I cry alot and am depressed and sometimes I just cant help it. But the things you do have control over, Take Control! Take Care of yourself.. Be close to your friends and family so they can provide you with support!
I don't really understand why you felt the need to tell the fiance before (if at all) you would tell him? He should be the first person out of the two. He helped make the baby not her. Telling her first does come off as the jealous you're just out to split them up kind of news. If I were her, I wouldn't believe the woman that is coming to tell me as opposed to my husband telling me first.
Listen, I understand mistakes are made and we all make bad decisions (I am not a angel by ANY means) but you have to take other people out of the equation. First of all, it's YOUR baby that he helped create. The decision of whether or not you keep it should be based on if you feel as though YOU can raise the child. Then you factor in if he would have any support (if that means just CS then that means just CS). But by no means should you base a life of a child on the pure fact that his wife would be around your child too. You don't know the future, maybe they divorce from each other. Then what would your decision have been made for.
You need to take a step back and look at the bigger future of a human being that you are bringing life to. If that's something you want to do then do it, if you don't feel you can bring the life into the world, consider adoption to a loving family that has arms wide open for them.
Yea... I still don't see why you needed to tell her first about the sex if you don't plan on telling him about the baby. But to each their own. It's his burden to bare, however I still feel like you should have talked to him about it first.
Ya that's weird... Why does thAt matter? Tell the father about the baby and then stop talking. All you're doing is starting dramA
i will try to not be harsh, but it seems like your actions are causing more drama than necessary,
to answer your question, no that is not all you really needed to do. If you told her, you should have told her the whole truth. You don't need to wait and see what she decides to do about it, You need to tell him and see what HE decides to do about it
my opinion/advice is that
1- stop talking with her. You are going to come off like the crazy jealous lady and she's not going to believe you anyways.
2- tell him soon, he needs to know, it's not fair to wait then surprise him with the news later. He needs to be able to start planning, especially if he has a wedding coming up
I am not judging you at all, I was single my entire pregnancy, He went & got another girl pregnant within a month of me being pregnant... You have no idea how bad I wanted to tell her, how bad I wanted to expose his web of lies, etc... But I knew where that would lead.. & that she's going to find out eventually on her own..
Seriously right now you need to just think about you and the baby
good luck
UMM dont you think this man deserves to know hes having a child. Regardless if he stays with his fiance or not has nothing to do with it. He deserves to know about the child. He can step up and be a father to your child. whether he gets married to this woman or not is not your business or concern
We keep stating that you need to tell him... but you keep focusing on her... O.o
OMG some people for real. I get a kick outta reading the "advice comments"on these posts, theyre ridic for real. who cares if u havent told HIM ur preg, u told HER he cheated WHICH IS STEP ONE, which I'm sure the news will be passed on to him, (if he was so drunk he didnt remember) let them figure out their relationship, while you figure out what YOU want. if everyone WOULD HAVE READ ur last post, they would understand WHY u told her. smh, I cant even imagine what your going through but I wishh you the best of luck, health, wisdom & guidance!
& I know that some people on these boards are ridiculously self righteous & it seems like all it takes is ONE person to say something rude & then these little mini electronic armies form & everyone starts attacking the moms that come on here FOR ADVICE, I feel so bad for u/them. j ignore everyone,.... & congrats on your little miracle