Baby #2

alexandrineblanc

M'y son is going to be 9 months next week and we are thinking of #2 but I am worried I will miss out a lot of #1 if I get pregnant again. Do you have any stories to share. Did you feel like that at all? I am still BF my son and I am thinking of waiting until he is weaned. Thanks ladies.

meganandchase

Our kids are two years apart.  There are pluses and minuses to any age gap.  Two years is good for us because we wanted them to be close in age.  DS (the 2 year old) is by no means independent, but he can feed himself, and dress himself.  If I had to do it again, I may have waited 6 more months to get through potty training first.

DiveFrog

DH & I have talked recently about #2 as well, DD is almost 9 months. For me I have a lot of the same reservations as you and the pervious poster.  I am still BF and DD is extremely attached to me still. Granted another baby wouldn't arrive for 10 more months an DD could and should be in different phase by then however, I have a real sense that DD is going to be a handful as a toddler. This year was difficult in terms of lack of sleep and constant babycare, but I am bracing myself for the next year when we are having to deal with tantrums and communication frustrations and DD being mobile and trying to get into everything. 

If I had my way we would wait until DD was 2 years old before trying for #2, but I am turning 35 in a few months and it took us 15months to get pregnant with DD. Time isn't exactly on our side. So, for us we have agreed for now to start trying when DD is 16-18months old. This timeline could obviously change depending on how we feel about parenting DD 6-9 months from now.   

myluckypig

Our first two are two years apart...almost to the day.  If I were to do it again, I think I would have spaced them out closer to 3 years apart.  Toddlers are very, very difficult (at least mine is) and I had miserable morning sickness.  It was four months of hell.  Young toddlers do not understand when you do not feel well and need to lay down...or that you can not be loud near the baby...etc.

But there are pros and cons to every age gap..so just do what you think will work for your family!

Danaz1

Mine are 21 months apart I got pregnant when she was 13 months old . I like the spacing but it is hard because dd still wants me to do stuff for her a lot she is really sweet with ds though

mylittlesunshine

Mine are a little under 3 years apart and we love the spacing!

After having DD2 there was such a sence of guilt that I had. DD2 was a much different baby than DD1 was. DD2 was very colicky and had mspi issues to work around. I was thankful that DD1 was a little older and could "understand" a little better then say a 18month-2 year old would have. I was exhausted dealing with teh constant crying of DD2 that did and all the extra care she required, that I would have been at the end of my rope had DD1 been younger and required more attention that comes with having them spaced closer together.

I fell under the category that your first one tricks you by being the "poster" baby. She was easy, STTN early on etc...and DD2 was the complete opposite. I am just thankful we didn't go for another any sooner then we did.

ncsumommy

Mine are 3yrs 3 mo apart and I could not love it more.  By the time DD was born, DS was able to completely dress/undress (makes it really nice in the mornings!), completely potty on his own with absolutely no help from me at all, not even wiping...entertain himself when needed, help me with DD (get her diapers, bring her bottle, bring her paci, whatever).  

I don't know if this is the age gap or DS, but he ADORES his sister.  He entertains her, makes her laugh, hugs her, talks to her all the time.  It is beyond adorable.  

Looking back, if I had a newborn with DS as a 2 year old, it would have been ALOT more stressful than it was.  

It's personal preference of course but I highly recommend 3 year spacing! 

Draba123

My kids are 19 months apart and I love their spacing.  Just watching them interact makes the some what harder days worth it.  

I do have to admit though that I have 2 pretty easy-going kids.  My two nephews are 15 months apart and they have had a much rougher time. 

megann831

I've always hear people worry about having #2 because they worry about having less time with #1, mine is the total opposite.  DD can be difficult and moody, I'm constantly still carrying her and holding her while DS is happily crawling around.  Mine are 23 months apart, I've heard when you have them close together there is less jealously.  If this is true, I should have had them closer.  DDs not horrible, and watching them play together is adorable, most of the time she truly loves her brother, she even gives him big hugs and tells him "I love you soooo much" but... she gets jealous sometimes too.  When she 1st wakes up from a nap she often needs almost a good hour of mommy time, and if I need to tend to the baby, she flips out.  When I pick her up from daycare she's great, we go down to get DS, sometimes as soon as I pick him up she starts to flip out.  DD even potty trained right after DS was born, so the only issue we've had is some jealously, which may have been less if we had them closer together.

lemon.sarie

I have 2 that are 2 years apart (#1 and #2) and then 18 months (#2 and #3).

#3 was a suprise, and after having the first 2 almost exactly 2 years apart, I always said I'd want a bigger spacing (like 3 years).  For my girls, 18mo to about 2.5 years is pretty challenging (terrible twos?) - although I've noticed this less with DD#2 (DD#1 was pretty horrible!).

I like having them close together, but part of me does feel like I'm missing out on different things for each kid.  Selfishly I think I'll wait till #3 is closer to 3 years old before trying for #4 (because I want to spend more time with each on of them at these young ages, although I think having their siblings has been good for all of them in different ways).  I think my girls definitely enjoy one another and get alot out of  being closer in age.

I guess I'm just saying that really, any spacing is going to have positives and negatives - oh, and your first will probably always be the most challenging as everything they do is new to you - so don't let that scare you off (a toddler is alot more work than most babies though!).

alexandrineblanc

Than you so much. I didn't know raising a toddler was harder than a baby... I really appreciate your comments and I will think about all the things that were said. Thanks Ladies.